Gawd. Master and Commander. THE AUBREY-MATURIN SERIES.
Okay Anon this may or may not be the encouragement you’re looking for, but I got hyperfixated on a 21-NOVEL SAGA AND MOVIE at the best/worst of times, and I WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT IT. ALL HANDS TO MAKE SAIL!!!!
So THIS POST gives a pretty awesome overview of the Aubreyad (alternatively: the Maturineid) in all its ridiculous glory, especially the funny parts. And THIS POST gives you a quick snapshot of the first novel, Master and Commander.
BASICALLY: Master and Commander is the first book of a 20 (21, if you count the last unfinished book) novel series revolving around Captain “Lucky Jack” Aubrey, a captain in the British Navy in the early 1800s, and Doctor Stephen Maturin, his ship’s surgeon/ardent naturalist/revolutionary/secret spy against Napoleon. They meet-cute in Master and Commander when Jack gets his very first ship. Shenanigans Ensue for the rest of their married lives, including:
The famous escape from France with Jack wearing a fursuit
Jack’s ridiculous 14 gun sloop taking a 32 gun xebec, his half-drowned fourth-rate one-shotting a 74 gun ship of the line in the middle of a storm (Scary Bote!!!), and other exciting historically accurate feats of naval daring
60,000 bees loose on the ship (Stephen feels zero remorse)
Pride and Prejudice, but with more Needless Drama and sea voyages
“Jack, you have debauched my sloth!”
Winning the Hearts of the Crew ™ with Good Leadership and Rousing Out the Gunner’s Brains
Alliances with the most noble Nutmeg of Consolation, in more than one way
Although Patrick O’brian began writing this series in the 1960s, the entire thing is written in Regency-era Austen-esque prose. The pros of this are a TON of dry humor and a lot of jokes and tongue-in-cheek moments revolving around period conventions that would be unremarkable in an actual Regency-era novel, but which Patrick O’brian can sort of wink-wink nudge-nudge with a modern audience. The cons are some unfortunate period-accurate slurs (O’Brian works hard to make Jack and Stephen problematic enough to be men of their time, while as unobjectionable as possible in their essential behavior/beliefs/morals) and a CRAP-TON of naval jargon, tall-ship lingo, and references to countries and political entities that no longer exist by that name.
It is a wonderfully detailed and endearing read-through the first time around, although I’m on my first re-read and honestly? The Aubreyad is almost better the SECOND time through. This time, I understand enough of the naval jargon to really appreciate how improbable and explosive some of Jack’s victories are, and to notice the little emotional moments that sometimes get lost when you aren’t used to the prose. Jack and Stephen are such vividly drawn characters, both in their flaws and their preferences and the way their relationship affects them that you can’t help but get attached.
Also, if you can see the movie first, I would recommend it. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World is named after a book in the middle of the Aubreyad, but really the movie is a pastiche of some of the most memorable scenes in the books. I watched the movie before and after the Aubreyad, and honestly? The movie is SPOT ON. Besides going balls to the wall for historical accuracy, the movie really just CAPTURES Jack and Stephen right down to the little mannerisms that they have in battle and with each other. It always helps me personally to have a face canon that I like when reading :))).
…Realizing as I’m posting this: how I made all three in a span of a single afternoon, I have no idea. Anyways here’s an Evil!Lenore + awakened ghostly powers compilation.
It’s always been a nagging thought in my head, what if Lenore had spoopy powers ooo and would it be awesome if she was evil at the same time so here you go. I’ve also been imagining an Evil HG and Lenore showdown and a killer!Wellenore AU so! that’s been fun!
Hey @amelia-friend wanna write another fic to break the fandom?
car and I brainstormed some Parks and Rec election results and scenarios to make ourselves feel better. Reblog and add with your own.
Leslie offers to stop eating waffles if Hillary could win and then mutters to herself a second later “No, that’s crazy; i can’t do that. i’m sorry, Leslie.”
Ann running over in the early hours Wednesday morning with a full nursing bag preparing for the worst
Leslie, Ben, and Ann all yell “DONALD TRUMP’S NEVER HAD A REAL JOB IN HIS LIFE” in various inflections for about twenty five minutes
Leslie suddenly sliding to the floor every few hours when she remembers. she wraps herself in every coat, scarf, and hat she owns and hibernates in there for a day or two
Leslie tackles Jamm in the hall when she comes back to work: “you know what you did!”
Leslie wearing and passing out buttons with the MADD logo “The second D doesn’t stand for anything. Thats just how mad I am.”
Aann and Madeline Albright coaxing Leslie out of the bedroom when she’s depressed
Chris makes a list of all his favorite things about Hillary to read to Leslie and ends up crying halfway through. He goes on a marathon tour of the tri-state. Which comprises traveling to participate in marathons because he just has to keep moving for a while and not stop
Leslie smacks her face sometimes, even years later, to see if she’s actually just maybe still asleep
Tom starts a new successful business called Black and Brown of the latest styles and fashions and only hires people of color
the thing that gets Leslie out of her funk is Ron coming over and telling her how much he hates government and how he thinks the two-party system is flawed and the electoral college is ruining the country and whats’ the point anymore. and then he shows her an I Voted sticker on which he’s written “i’m with Leslie”. Leslie starts to cry for a few minutes and then goes “but you actually voted for Hillary, right?”
The Pawnee Goddesses’ next four years are already booked for visiting political representatives, staging sit-ins, protests, and fundraisers. Ron always drives the bus. Andy is in charge of new recruits. Tom designs uniforms. Ann looks pretty.
Galentines Day becomes a movement and organization dedicated to helping women and they celebrate it every day. Waffle buttons become a symbol of the movement
The Parks gang runs into the entire Meagle Clan at a rally. They stand slackjawed for thirty seconds. Tom faints because Ginuwine is there
“PCP is going to seem like a walk in Roosevelt park compared to this.“ Leslie shows the camera a 3-inch binder labeled “LSD: Let’s Steer Democrat”
Andy spends a part of every Johnny Karate show educating kids about tolerance and how to be a good person
April is president of Galentines day and has a secret binder of her plans that she won’t ever show Leslie bc she’s pretty sure it might actually kill her
Andy graduates with a minor in women’s studies, goes to every protest even if he’s not always sure what’s going on. (April explains it) he seems like he’s only half getting it and then volunteers to speak at one protest. the speech is one of the most relevant, aware, inspiring speeches in modern history it goes viral on buzzfeed. he gets invited to ellen and spends the whole time talking about finding nemo and dancing when asked to explain how he wrote it he says he asked himself a simple question: WWLKD
Shipwrecked Comedy and American Black Market proudly present: The Epilogue of Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party
Ghosting 101 is in session and Professor Lenore is in the house.
Written and Created by Sean Persaud & Sinéad Persaud
Back in our Kickstarter days, one of our stretch goals was to write and film an epilogue to our story. While we achieved the goal, our shooting schedule was far too tight to fit it in. So a crack team of us shot the epilogue during quick breaks in filming and even while other scenes were going on. The end result, while it doesn’t look as “pretty” as our show, is hopefully a satisfying and fitting conclusion to our story.
That “fact” about Clinton defending a child rapist and laughing about it, came about in May of 2016 this year. It’s a new lie which is part of a carefully orchestrated smear campaign that’s been running against her for the last 20 years because the thought of a woman in power scares certain powerful men shitless.
What is true about it, is that in 1975 Hillary Clinton (then Hillary Rodham) was appointed to represent a man
charged with raping a 12-year-old girl. This was her job. And just in case you can’t wrap your head around how being a defense lawyer works then I’m sorry to tell you that lots of lawyers have had to defend people they have found to be monstrous. When people say in movies “you have the right to an attorney” they’re serious, everyone has that right, even child rapists. Hillary took the case reluctantly, which ended in a plea bargain for the defendant. He did not “get away with it”. He actually plead guilty. That’s what plea bargain means.
Hillary Clinton did not volunteer to be the defendant’s lawyer, she did
not laugh about the case’s outcome, she did not assert that the
complainant “made up the rape story,” she did not claim she knew the
defendant to be guilty, and she did not “free” the defendant.
Do some basic research before you support such claims. (x)
And just in case you’re too lazy to click the link, here’s a direct quote from Hillary and Gibson, the prosecution lawyer:
[Prosecuting attorney Mahlon Gibson] called me to tell me an indigent
prisoner accused of raping a twelve-year-old girl wanted a woman lawyer.
[Prosecutor Mahlon] Gibson had recommended that the criminal court
judge, Maupin Cummings, appoint me. I told Mahlon I really didn’t feel
comfortable taking on such a client, but Mahlon gently reminded me that I
couldn’t very well refuse the judge’s request.
*
“Hillary told me she didn’t want to take that case, she made that very clear,” recalls prosecutor Gibson, who phoned her with the judge’s order.
And murder? If we’re talking about the decisions all politicians make, then by that logic you could turn around and say that Obama has murdered 116 innocent civilians because of drone strikes (x), George W Bush murdered over
110,937 civilians in the Iraq war alone. (x) People might well believe Bernie Sanders is the savior we’ve been denied, but you’re dreaming if you think he could have taken the office of the presidency and avoided bloodshed entirely. But since we’re presumably cherry picking about bloodshed on politicians hands, lets talk about The Authorization of Military Force Against Terrorists Act, passed on September 14th 2001. This act is responsible for the United State’s continued engagement in the Middle East over the last 15 years—And Bernie Sanders voted for it. And I love Bernie, I would have voted for him in a heartbeat. But when we’re talking about “murder” on the hands of politicians hands, we cannot cherry pick the facts we want to believe in and ignore the rest.
Hillary Clinton is not a monster. Hillary Clinton does messy jobs no one else is willing to do, and she does them well. But Hillary Clinton is also the person who showed up at Ground Zero following in the wake of
9/11 to witness the carnage for herself. Clinton who did not do it
for photo-ops as so many did, and took the time to talk to first
responders and to make sure they
were getting the resources and help they needed to carry on their work. Clinton who advocated for those same people to receive health care when it was revealed the Bush administration lied about the air around Ground Zero not being toxic to breathe, putting rescuers at further risk. Clinton who stood by people for years and made sure they were doing okay in the aftermath:
Gorman recalls being pleasantly surprised by Clinton’s commitment, both
in terms of her mastery of policy detail and on a personal level. “She
would call me on my cellphone to ask how I was doing, how my members
were doing,” he said. “One time I was pumping gas at a Texaco station,
it was Christmas Eve, and she wanted to know how things were going. When
a senator calls someone on my level, that’s impressive.”
But we don’t hear so much about that do we? We don’t hear about Hillary who has been campaigning for universal health care since 1993 (x). Hillary who has stood with Planned Parenthood for a long time and who remains their most stalwart advocate (x)
And the reason we don’t hear about them is because Hillary has endured a 20 year smear campaign against her, and this is important, because she is a woman who dares to show ambition (x). So when you believe the things you read without fact checking them, you are giving weight and precedence to even bigger lies which has its roots in female oppression. Which is disgusting.
Do I agree with everything she has ever said and done? No of course not. But on that same level I don’t agree with everything Bernie Sanders has ever said and done either. Do I believe she is the most qualified candidate to be the next President of the United States? Unequivocally.
I’m a foreigner in this country and cannot vote, but morally and with the utmost support for the hope of the betterment of this country #I’m with her.
How do you
in Nonnyland? Here we are having a very hot and uncomfortable summer, but thankfully
in the last few days we have been blessed with a delicious cool breeze.
It pains me
to see you so concerned about Miss Swift’s reputation. How immensely thoughtful you are to take such pains in
enquiring about a young lady that is merely a passing acquaintance of yours.
But fear
not, my friend, because I can assure you that the situation is not as dire as
it sounds. It’s true that a few weeks ago, when we first learned that Ms. Swift
had eloped with Mr. Hiddleston, we all believed they were going straight to Gretna Green to get married.
We later knew that their travels had taken them elsewhere, and our concern for
Miss Swift’s safety grew every passing day.
However, I happen
to know now from very reputable sources that Miss Swift’s family and friends
are taking every possible measure to see this situation arranged without delay. In fact, as I write to
you Mr. Swift has send a relative of his entire confidence to London, in search
of Miss Swift and Mr. Hiddleston; and this relative has promised he will not
return until he has seen them properly married.
I can
confide in you, my dear Miss Nonny, that I have the firm conviction that the
issue will be resolved soon in the most satisfactory way. After all, Miss Swift
is a very accomplished young lady: not only is she sufficiently beautiful, sweet
and sensible; she has also had the benefit of a good education, being well
versed in all the arts, but especially in music, singing and dancing. And let
us not forget that she has an income of seventy million a year, and very likely
more! Any young man, from London or from the countryside, would call himself
lucky to join in matrimony a young lady of such excellent prospects.
But perhaps
your concern on the matter comes from your mistrust of Mr. Hiddleston’s
character. To this I must again answer you with reassuring words. Although I
don’t have the pleasure of being acquainted with the gentleman in person, every
report I’ve had of him and his family has been impeccable. In case you haven’t
heard it already, I must let you know that the young man attended Eton College in
his youth; and then Cambridge University, where he became greatly versed in the
Classics. Besides, he has a sizeable income of his own, which dispels those alarming
rumours of him being a fortune hunter that some uncouth people have been
spreading all around the country. All of his acquaintances speak wonders of his
gentle humour and amiable character, and I have to say that he would be the
last man in England of whom I would expect a villainy of any kind.
Undoubtedly,
a gentleman of such high character and respectability would never have the
audacity of taking a lady away from her friends and family without the
intention of making her his wife. Under this circumstances the elopement can
only be due to a moment of foolishness and, I dare say, an excess of passion, that I am sure will be placated as soon as they
are properly joined in Holy Matrimony.
I sincerely
hope this letter will find you well, and I expect it will also quench all your
fears. I will pass your kind regards to Mrs. Swift, who, despite being justly concerned
about her daughter’s welfare and respectability, shares with me and with all of
her friends the undying hope that this unfortunate
adventure will end very soon in the most satisfactory way.
You must
promise to visit the next time you’re in Spain. I trust that the situation will be
resolved by then and we will be able to raise a glass to the health of the
newly married couple.
My duty to
all your family, and especially to your dear aunt Mrs. Incognito.
It wasn’t so bad when his legs stopped working. He could still work the turrets, still throw a thunderstick, still go out in a blaze of historic glory with the rest of his brothers. But when the lumps and bumps made his good arm go all tingly and limp, Nails knew he was going to die soft, the gates of Valhalla forever closed to him.
The war drums sounded. Nails tried to ignore how his heart beat in time with them, adrenaline coursing through his veins in preparation for a battle he wouldn’t fight, couldn’t even witness. He closed his eyes and accepted the darkness. There would be no shiny chrome eternity for him.
Someone flicked the side of his head. Nails opened his eyes, blinking from the glare of the harsh light. His driver, Chuck, was standing over him.
“Wake up ya lazy smeg! Can’tcha hear the drums? We gotta go do war!”
Nails wanted to tell him to go away, remind him that he was no good, far too soft now to do war, but Chuck was already sliding strong arms under his and hauling him to his feet. Stint was there too, mad grin on his face. The war drums always got the gunner worked up into a frenzy.
The two war boys got on either side of Nails and together the they made their way to the vehicle bay.
“We made you a spot, a lookout post, special on the side of the rig,” Stint was saying, nodding his head with ever word. “Calling it the mediocre chair on account of you always being so mediocre. Remember when you dropped that thundestick and almost took out the war rig? Thought Furiosa was going to turn you into boots.”
He did remember, but now…
“And that time when you tripped and pushed Rown right into that buzzard car? Kid’s still picking metal out of his teeth.” Chuck was shaking his head, smiling. “You’re a real crap war boy, Nails, but you’re our crap war boy and we’ll get you to Valhalla yet.”
Nails felt his heart do something funny in his chest, like the lumps and bumps were grabbing hold of it and squeezing. If they were, he didn’t care. They were war boys, kami-crazy war boys, and they would grab the sun together or die trying.
