Boyfriend: I… I don’t even know the story that well babe, I can’t even say xD

Me: Okay so

Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he’s like “You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later” and Minos is like “Sure yeah okay man whatever” so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like “Hot fuck look at that bull” And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of…keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it’s one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon’s no pushover so of course he notices.

Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he’s royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos’ wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.

Boyfriend: ……….Thefuck.

Me: But it’s hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan

Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??

Me: Ohh, no no no, that’s the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different

Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she’s like “I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT” and Daedalus is like “That’s really weird maybe you should talk to someone” and she’s like “I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don’t get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn’t want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing.”

Boyfriend: Oh….. oh no.

Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.

Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.

Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she’s been dreaming of

Boyfriend: I…….. I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.

Me: Only she apparently hasn’t been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like “What the fuck?” and Pasiphae is like “Honey I need to tell you something”

Me: And that is how it happened

Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS

Me: Welcome to Mythology.

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shananaomi:

I guess this is still a story best suited for Tumblr. (TinyLetter, when will you learn how to handle an image embed?)

Here goes:

I’ve written about this night before.

We didn’t go on a proper date until seven months later, after she came to another party. We were always having parties in those days. In fact, the reason we had that party on June 30, 2007, 10 years ago today, was because our friend Annie needed a place to throw herself a birthday. And because gmail is forever, here’s proof:

You never know what you are saying yes to. Say yes. Say it as much as your tender heart can bear. Yes to opening your doors to anyone who needs it, for whatever reason. Yes to loving something or someone supposedly silly and trivial so much that you hang a symbol of it on your wall. Yes to what you believe in and would fight for. Yes to who you want to be even if you’re still figuring out what that means.  

Say yes. Say it’s mine. Say I fucking love you. Say I do. Say forever and mean it even if the rest of this goddamned world is on fire. Say every anniversary matters. Say it to each other and anyone else who will listen. 

We write our own stories. We’re still writing this one.

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imagineswiftrejects:

notyrqueer:

yetanothertaylor:

pokemon-professor-grey:

viragon:

author-j-lynn-collins:

trufflebootybuttercream:

bussykween:

tormans-space:

dwaynewaynejr:

iamhannalashay:

softwhorecore:

deadpoolsdickwarmer:

The fact that nobody is talking about Secret’s new commercials pisses me off

This makes me so happy ☺️

Yesssss😭 I damn near cried

I LOVE THIS OMFG

YOOOOOOOOOOO THATS AMAZING!!!!!

Can someone help me understand I wanna cry to ..I feel something went over my head

The woman in the bathroom is trans and is scared that if she comes out of the stall the women that walked in will insult or harass her. but when she comes out they compliment her on her dress instead. The add ends with saying “stress tested for women.” It means Secret is including trans women in their definition of women. 

I have reblogged this three times now, each one mentioning the fact that Secret not only included a trans woman, but that they /had the other women compliment her dress and treat her with respect/. I will reblog this every time I see it because it’s so important. More companies should involve trans people in their marketing – we do exist. Props to Secret for getting in on this movement. It makes me really happy to see more of the trans community represented in daily television.

Reblog the shit out of this

We need more positive things like this!

Okay but I did cry

!!! FINALLY

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terapsina:

annerbhp:

tchallasams:

annerbhp:

diana-prince:

Would you like to buy an ice cream?

Okay, so it’s even the small things. The way she eats the ice cream. She just eats it. No coy lick or self-conscious taste. There’s no male gaze here. No oral/sexual pleasure of the viewer. Just she eats the ice cream and it’s the kind of sloppy big bite of someone who is not self-conscious of eating, who hasn’t been trained from birth to think about how she looks as she does everything, even eating. Hasn’t spent her life being told that her purpose is in being attractive, even as she does a vital daily thing like eating. Doesn’t have a voice in her head saying, oh but ice cream, it’s kind of fatty, and what will people think.

She’s just, wow, this thing is delicious, I think it’s great, the person who makes it deserves to be told how great their skill is. How great their actions that have lead to this product are. Even in this she demonstrates valuing people by their actions and abilities and choices and who they are, not what they look like.

Fuck. This is agency. And the fact that is so rare and startling and obvious to me, the fact that Diana Prince eating ice cream moves me so much is So Terrible and makes me despair for our civilization and (nearly) all media produced before this.

And during the shot when she takes the first bite, Steve is reaching his arm out to pay the ice cream seller. That movement is much bigger and more eye-catching than Diana eating the ice cream. This scene normalizes females eating on screen (which shouldn’t have fucking been a problem in the first place), through both subverting the erotic eating trope and allowing women to eat and enjoy whatever they want without feeling self-conscious. Kudos to Patty Jenkins.

Yes! Excellent point!

And even more, Steve isn’t looking at Diana as she eats. A big part of the male gaze is that the default POV of films is generally that of the straight, white, male viewer. And generally Steve would be the stand in for that default gaze, but he doesn’t even look at her! He doesn’t buy it for her so he can watch. And he doesn’t even pull some Nice Guy bullshit like, I did something nice for you now do something nice for me, even as a vague joke or subtext. He isn’t trying to  get anything out it. He just thinks she’s probably never had it and might enjoy it. It’s about her enjoyment, not his. Despite everything trying to tell us that women feed appetites but aren’t meant to have any of their own.

Apparently I am never going to get over Diana Prince eating ice cream.

Yes, all this. But I’d like to mention that IN ADDITION to that, there’s also the overt humor of the moment that could have been gross too but wasn’t.

The ice cream seller offers her the ice cream but Diana is not familiar with the concept of ‘goods for money’ so they could have made a big joke about it with Steve basically giving her an immediate ‘lesson’ about how she can’t just TAKE the ice cream and how you’re supposed to pay for it.

That’s basically how introducing a character from an Utopian society to a capitalist world always works. And that’s always the joke ‘oh look how silly and uneducated this person is, doesn’t even know they have to pay for stuff!’.

But here though Diana does take the ice cream without planning to pay (because yes, she doesn’t know that she’s supposed to) Steve doesn’t make it into a ‘big deal’, he just reaches over and pays.

And so the scene flawlessly skips over any need to publicly shame or embarrass Diana and we can just focus on how adorable Diana is when eating ice cream for the first time in her life.

And I really truly appreciate that a lot.

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expressions-of-nature:

Lofoten, Norway by Oddgeir Hvidsten

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poebodysnerfect:

A ghost on a murderous rampage? Are you guys listening to yourselves? Because you sound cray.

Poe Party rewatch [80/-]

Chapter 9: The Sleeper

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gnossienne:

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere…”

Parallels: Beauty & the Beast and Jane Eyre

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mostlythemarsh:

Little Blue Planet

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Cymbidium

Freesia

Crassula

Euphorbia Shorty

Euphorbia Ascot Rainbow

Eschscholzia californica

Abutilon

Jade

Bulbine

Erigeron Wayne Roderick

flora-file:

Flowers of the Week #10 – March 

Flowers in my garden, March 6, 2014

I finally got home early enough to go out into the garden and  take some pictures today. I’ve so busy lately. So much to see. Tiny miracles everywhere.

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cantinaband:

Game of Thrones cast | photographed by Miles Aldridge for TIME, July 2017.

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letsolgasidorova:

Ivan Trush

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jaynaneeya:

A few of the many highlights of the Heck Yeah Fig And Ford Was 172% Funded On Kickstarter Victory Dance

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anonsally:

lies:

camillavirgil:

fuckyeahwomenfilmdirectors:

Rosamund Pike and David Oyelowo in Amma Asante’s A United Kingdom (2016).

@lies if you haven’t see this already – do! Watch it – it’s soooo good!

Thanks for the recommendation. I haven’t, and I will.

I second this recommendation. A really, really excellent movie.

For the record, three different people with impeccable taste have now told me this. The universe is definitely sending me a message. 🙂

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poebodysnerfect:

Perhaps the answer has been under our nose the whole time. Edgar Allan Poe: writer of Gothic prose and cold-blooded killer!

Poe Party rewatch [78/-]

Chapter 9: The Sleeper

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“

The summer after I turned sixteen, fireflies danced in the open field across the road from my parents’ house. I went to watch them with my family, watched how the lights flickered and darted and moved in unknowable patterns. Watching them felt like some kind of magic, like I was witnessing something that would bring on something more.

A month later I was dating my first boyfriend. He asked me out on the Fourth of July, and on our first date we walked along the old railroad tracks that ran through our hometown. I wore my favorite skirt and was too shy to try to hold his hand. By the following summer I had written at least a dozen poems about him and was certain bits of the sky had fallen to color his eyes.

The summer after I turned twenty, fireflies once again flooded the fields across from my parents’ house. I’d see them while driving aimlessly around town with a friend, and I felt something in my veins pulse in the same rhythm as the lights. I could feel something coming.

That summer I was with my first love. They were the first person to say they loved me and the first one I said I loved. They said they’d marry me and probably would have if the timing had been right. We were a whirlwind of promises and love letters and trying to fit lifetimes into four months.

In a little under a month I’ll turn twenty-three, and I’ve seen fireflies blinking in the dusk while I drive home from work. They wink at me as I pass by. My skin feels tight with the awareness of something on its way, and I’m almost afraid of what comes next.

”

– Here’s to a Summer to Remember, C.D. (chickadeeburns)

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stilllifequickheart:

Edouard John Mentha

Maid Reading in a Library

Late 19th – early 20th century

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pagewoman:

Misty Morning

via n.t

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camillavirgil:

fuckyeahwomenfilmdirectors:

Rosamund Pike and David Oyelowo in Amma Asante’s A United Kingdom (2016).

@lies if you haven’t see this already – do! Watch it – it’s soooo good!

Thanks for the recommendation. I haven’t, and I will.

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scottymccall:

Sometimes our strengths lie beneath the surface. 

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