from the court-ordered-rehab,-here-we-come dept.

So, supposedly Winona Ryder’s lawyers are in meetings with prosecutors, leading to speculation that she may be in the process of working out a plea bargain for her drug-possession-cum-shoplifting thing. I suppose I should have expected that, but I confess to being a little disappointed that there won’t be more celebrity hijinks to follow as the trial runs its course. Anyway, here’s my bet: 6 months’ probation and a mandatory visit to a drug-treatment center, in return for pleading guilty to various misdemeanors. Remember: you read it here first.

from the not-really-suitable-for-children dept.

A nice visual wrap-up of the changes in The King of Pop’s face over the years, with accompanying commentary. Nothing new, really, but still, like, whoa.

from the aw.-and-she-made-such-GOOD-music,-too. dept.

Heeding the old showbiz maxim that you should always leave the audience wanting more, Britney apparently is going to take some time off from her music career. “She has been touring non-stop and she understandably needs to take a break,” said a spokesperson for Britney’s Jive Records label. “She’s looking forward to having more time for other activities: making movies, smoking, having sex, and giving people the finger. But she’ll be back.”

from the putting-the-‘ew’-back-into-ew.com dept.

From the celebrity-obsessed folks at Entertainment Weekly comes an article that goes into some more depth, and dishes some new dirt, about the upcoming Anna Nicole Show.

from the terms-of-psychic-warfare dept.

Angelina Jolie reportedly wants the vial of blood she gave former husband Billy Bob Thorton back, seems she’s afraid of a curse being put on her. Underneath the thing about K-19.

from the another-thing-tommy-lee-gave-her dept.

Pammy’s sick! She claims rocker Tommy Lee gave her hepatits C when they shared a tattoo needle.

from the i.told.you.so dept.

Maybe it was that bad country album, or maybe it was the strain of being married to someone named Billy Bob, who knows?

from the wow.-just-like-Gandhi. dept.

Desperate to shed the pounds she’s packed on since breaking up with Justin, Britney Spears has apparently been on a veggies-and-water diet recently, causing her to collapse after a recent concert. Eat something, Britney! I don’t want your death on my conscience!

from the I-refuse-to-call-him-the-king-of-pop dept.

In our continuing effort to pin down the priorities of Michael Jackson, we have learned he hates porn more than he cares for 9-11 victims. Michael — he’s always looking out for the children.

from the plus-size-entertainment dept.

Uber-widow Anna Nicole Smith is coming to the small screen in August, when E! will begin airing an Osbournes-esque reality show that follows the misadventures of Ms. Smith, her poodle, and various hangers-on.

from the what-a-putz dept.

You may recall Steve Bing, the Hollywood producer who went to court to show he wasn’t the biological father of Elizabeth Hurley’s baby. (Turns out he actually was the baby’s dad, unfortunately for said baby.) Well, his name crossed my radar again, this time in connection with his dropping of a lawsuit he’d brought against MGM studio mogul Kirk Kerkorian, who Bing accused of invading his privacy by digging through his trash to find a sample of dental floss, with the accompanying biological material to have been used to establish that Bing, not Kerkorian, was the biological father of the 4-year-old daughter of Kerkorian’s ex-wife. Do I detect a pattern here? Sheesh; what a wanker.

from the the-wheels-of-justice-grind-on dept.

So, Winona Ryder had her delayed-due-to-elbow-breakage hearing, and pled (pleaded? pleadified?) not guilty to shoplifting charges. Stay tuned for more.

from the lonely-cosmonauts dept.

Valery Korzun, the newly arrived Russian commander of the International Space Station, told reporters yesterday that he has no problem with NSync’s Lance Bass visiting the station, but if he had his druthers, he’d rather host Cindy Crawford (or “one of the supermodels,” at least). Dream on, Valery.

from the when-celebrities-go-bad,-part-II dept.

Winona Ryder’s preliminary hearing resumed yesterday, with five witnesses testifying as to her behavior during her alleged shoplifting spree. The defense was pretty low-key, limiting itself to some sarcastic questions of store security guards (“And do you get a lot of homeless people wearing three-quarter-length cashmere coats?”), and then alleging almost (but not quite?) perjury in comments to reporters on the courthouse steps. Anyway, the judge ruled there was sufficient evidence for a trial, so the fun will continue.

from the when-celebrities-go-bad,-part-I dept.

Yay! Another celebrity has had a run-in with the law under weird circumstances. Specifically, actor Woody Harrelson (Cheers, Natural Born Killers, White Men Can’t Jump) apparently got into a disagreement with a London cabbie involving a broken ashtray and a damaged door, then jumped out of the cab and into another, leading to a high-speed chase and his eventual apprehension by police. He’s now out on bail, with a hearing scheduled for July 1.

from the a-day-without-Britney-is-a-day-without…-Britney dept.

I really don’t know why Britney Spears has seeped so far into the lies.com consciousness, but there it is: I can’t help posting anything I see about Britney. Like this: an obsessed-fan package from your wireless provider that costs $19.99 and comes with a membership card, a decal, and three months’ worth of personal cellphone messages from the Goddess Herself describing everything she’s up to. I so want this, though I’m pretty sure I’d find it really, really stupid after the first couple of minutes. So I’ll just go on wanting it, which sounds way better to me, all things considered.

from the same-story,-different-celebrity dept.

Actress Winona Ryder, who appeared at a preliminary hearing yesterday in connection with charges she had shoplifted and possessed painkillers without a prescription, requested, and was granted, a delay after she said that her arm had been injured while she was pushing her way through the throng of reporters surrounding the courtroom. Interestingly, her lawyer said her right elbow had been broken, but it was actually the left arm that she appeared to be cradling when she entered the courtroom. Oops. Anyway, the hearing is scheduled to resume Thursday. (Disclosure: I think Winona Ryder is way cool, even if – no, especially if – the charges against her are true. So shoot me.)

from the immaculate-conception dept.

Is Madonna pregnant with her third child? Rumors started flying when she was seen having her 17-month-old son Rocco pat her tummy during a shopping excursion. Then her dad, Tony Ciccone, told a reporter that she was expecting. “We were delighted when we heard but I can’t speak about it.” Oh, hey, nice compliance on that request, dad. Anyway, now Madonna’s publicist has issued a blanket denial: “It’s completely untrue.” Sure it is.

from the extraterrestrial-tourism dept.

N’Sync member Lance Bass has been cleared to go into space, moving him one step closer to blasting off on a Russian rocket for a trip to the international space station. When I was a kid watching the Apollo moon landings, imagining the glorious sci-fi future I’d be living in in the 21st century, I never thought of this particular scenario. But here it is: welcome to the future. Who will be the next celebrity in space? Michael Jackson? Britney??!!

from the show-us-your-dress dept.

A crowd of photographers and obsessive fans assembled outside the church where Claudia Schiffer was about to be married booed the big-lipped supermodel when she entered the church concealed by blanket-carrying security guards. Schiffer was marrying British film producer Matthew Vaughn, who reportedly won the 31-year-old’s heart by giving her a tortoise.