Reblogging again to recognize the awesomeness that is that chess position in the last photo. I was just listening to the Scriptnotes episode where they discussed the chess player peeve of movies showing unrealistic positions. I love how they took the trouble to have an actual position that tied in perfectly with the shot.
We are so excited to be recipients of the Gold Screenwriting Award at the DC Web Fest!
Congrats again to Sean and Sinéad! They’ve garnered their second writing award this past weekend at the DC Web Fest! We are absolutely thrilled to be honored in this way. Congrats to all the other award winners as well!
(as suggested on that other platform by @davidcater)
So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.
Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.
If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.
Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.
Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.
Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.
Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.
MATH NERD VAMPIRES
If anyone would like the term for this, it’s arithmomania.
“But sir, he’s a vampire!!!”
“Vampire or not, he’s the best damn accountant we have here, and i’d let him drink my blood before i fire him!”
“still less of a leech than Matt in legal. Fuck matt”
Whoa, I just checked and I have 200 followers! And I think roughly half of you started following within the last year, so if you’re one of my new-ish followers, welcome! I assume you’re here for Poe Party, in which case you’re in the right place because I have no plans to stop posting about it any time soon (although I’ll probably run out of Clue parallels before too much longer…)
I also must give a shout out to the people who started following me years ago who have stuck with me through the changing fandoms: thank you! But if you still haven’t watched Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party, I would highly recommend it. If you share enough interests with me to have followed me thus far, you’ll probably enjoy it. I know you didn’t ask, but here’s the link. (And I promise no one is paying me to advertise this show. It’s just ridiculously fantastic and I want the whole world to know about it.) Also I’ll definitely keep posting about other stuff besides Poe Party, so don’t worry.
Anyway, I’ll probably lose followers again soon, but I’ve been hovering in the 190s for a while so I thought I’d take this opportunity while it was here. Thanks to all 200 of you for bearing with me and my weirdness. I greatly appreciate you all!
I do not believe the poeparty/clue parallels will ever run out. They’ll just become more obscure and mind-bendingly meta.
Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens.
Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL
OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY
Oh my God so I typed ‘Shakespeare’ and Shakespeare butted in and wrote ‘The lovely and handsome Shakespeare’ but Poe burst in saying ‘The dreadful and lonely Shakespeare’.
aND FYODOR DOSTOYVESKY ADDED ‘ I do not wish to make myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners.”
I’M DONE.
Look what they did to All Star by Smash Mouth
“Somebody once hushedly told me the world is going to roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of glocky with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a “L” on her forehead. Well, the years start voraciously coming and they don’t stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. It didn’t make sense absolutely to live for fun. Thy brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to behold. So what’s wrong with taking the back busy thoroughfares? In everything one thing is impossible: rationality. You’ll never know if thou don’t go. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, he growled incoherently. Hey presently, you’re an All Star. Get your game on; go play. Hey now, you’re a Rock Star. Get the show on; get laid. As well as all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold. ~All Star by Smash Estuary of opinion…”
Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it.
OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE
I typed in “Hello” and Shakesphere erased it and wrote “Begone with this rubbish.”
HOW R00d
I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering”
I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now
I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’
After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch
I have to try this.
Rebageled again but to add if the link above doesn’t work, try this one instead.
This is so funny, omg. I put in the first few paragraphs of my book, and Poe keeps adding all these adverbs. Dickens adds excessive descriptions of the characters, and Shakespeare is just throwing in random Early Modern English.
