theonion: LONDON—An early review confirmed Wednesday that…
LONDON—An early review confirmed Wednesday that upcoming historical drama The Sisters Of Darington Manor was just 90 minutes of a woman holding up her petticoats while scampering through an open field. “After the opening credits roll, it’s really just an hour and a half of a woman in a silk gown grabbing the hems of her petticoat while she hurries along a windswept plain,” said The Independent reviewer Christina Gordon, confirming that the costume drama—which offers no discernible dialogue and could take place at any point in history between the Georgian and Victorian eras—features a striking string soundtrack that swells to accentuate the woman’s progress across what appears to be either the English heath or possibly the Scottish moorland. “About midway through the movie, there’s this 45-minute unbroken shot of her rushing in front of a misty hillside. Then she mounts a horse at one point and rides it for a few minutes, which was nice. But then she just gets off, hitches up her petticoat, and starts hurrying across the plain again.” While criticizing the film’s lackluster narrative, Gordon praised the “breathtaking finale,” in which the woman completes her 90-minute journey by rushing directly into the embrace of a troubled-looking but handsome man in a brown frock coat and cravat.
Reposted from http://lies.tumblr.com/post/174021385146.
Tags: i look forward to the webseries adaptation!, i anticipate many, many, episodes, we may require a spreadsheet.
