This is Not About Shailene Woodley
I was hoping I wouldn’t have to bother with this, but I’m tired of seeing it everywhere—
So hey, can we stop hating on Shailene Woodley?
Yes, what she said about not being a feminist because she loves men and doesn’t want women to be raised above men is wrong and ignorant and detrimental. Yes, we should absolutely discuss the issue and what can be done to correct this unfortunate misconception that a lot of people seem to hold.
But think about it for two seconds. This girl has been raised in Hollywood. An industry notoriously overrun by men and misogyny and where essentially any women that want any part of it have to either fall into the role of sex object or become another member of the boys’ club. Hollywood can be a really isolated culture. People who come into it as adults have the benefit of life experience outside of it, but those who don’t have been surrounded by nothing but this industry’s shit from the start. They’ve seen how difficult it is to be female and work in this town, how quickly careers can be crushed by not conforming to expectations or rocking the boat, and they’ve heard nasty comments and jokes and about anyone who did get tossed out by the jerks who want to place the blame on these “man-hating feminists” so they can stick to the status quo and not be challenged in their casual (or not-so-casual) misogyny.
That doesn’t make it right. But most of us grow up in some version of this culture (though likely not anywhere near as concentrated). I said so much stupid, ignorant stuff as a kid, as a teen, as a college student. Sometimes I still do. Growing up in a very conservative town with a very conservative family, I didn’t learn to truly think for myself and form my own opinions about what was right and wrong and how to stand up for those beliefs until I went across the country to college and got OUT of that culture. You need space to breath. When something is all you’ve ever known, it takes time to learn anything knew. This girl is 22 and the whole world is watching her. Expecting her to answer these loaded questions when all she’s signed up for, all she’s worked towards so far, is to be an actor. She hasn’t had her space yet, her chances to learn and explore the world for herself.
There is a huge tendency on social platforms to point fingers at people who say or do something shitty and hardcore scapegoating them. As if shaking your head in disgust about how awful or stupid they are is a substitute for actually engaging in critical discussion about the issue at hand. As if bullying or shaming them into changing their point of view is the best way to get our views across. As if constantly reminding people of every mistake they’ve made and turning public opinion against them until they’re irrelevant actually brings about change.
Shailene Woodley is not Steven Moffat. She is not a grown man with a history of approaching women in casually misogynistic ways and refusing to see the error of her ways. She is not Chris Brown. She has not repeatedly shown herself to be a selfish, hateful person with no remorse for her actions. She is not a politician who has put themselves in a position to represent the people and goes on to make disparaging remarks about women and equal rights. She is a young, ignorant girl who has been taught by society that feminists are terrible, spiteful women who want to be better than their counterparts, and who is now being shamed and ridiculed with angry retaliation for what she said by those same people. Think about how that comes across. How is it in any way productive? You can’t scoff about how much you hate someone and wish they would shut their stupid mouth and in the next breath be appalled that they won’t listen to your criticism and reason, no matter how right you may be on the matter. You have to decide what’s more important — expressing your anger and annoyance in the form of a personal attack, or actually making choices that are productive (and not counter-productive) towards change. It doesn’t matter if Shailene doesn’t see these things. Other people do. Everything has an impact.
This is an opportunity to talk about what feminism really is. To discuss why so many people have the wrong impression of it. To discuss our inequalities and the casual misogyny that permeates our society and what benefits feminism brings about for everyone. Our society has failed us, but it has also failed Shailene, and so many others like her. So let’s try to keep some perspective here and maybe focus on how we can use this to build our society up rather than tearing a young girl down.
Reposted from http://ift.tt/QcheZY.
Tags: rachel ranting like she does, that is to say, making sense.
