from the do-as-I-say,-not-as-I,-well,-you-know dept.

From Reuters’ Oddly Enough (via Yahoo News) comes this unlikely item: New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg will be featured in an upcoming ad campaign from the good people at NORML, in which the billionaire financial-information mogul is quoted as saying, in reply to a question on whether he ever smoked pot, “You bet I did, and I enjoyed it.”

from the how-very-British dept.

I don’t know why it’s such a comforting thought, but there it is: the sun has long since set on their empire, their economy is in the loo, and their PM is a fratboy’s poodle, but the British continue to lead the world in being British. In this case, by standing cheerily in line all day to view the Queen Mum’s coffin. Well done.

from the they-gave-him-lousy-grades-as-a-student,-too dept.

The Guardian has the story of Yale University’s decision to join other colleges in reimbursing students who lose federal financial aid due to drug offenses. Under a law passed in 1998, but not enforced until our current education President took office, students convicted of drug possession can lose their financial aid money. The Bush alma mater joins Hampshire College, Swarthmore, and Western Washington University in its decision to offer scholarships to affected students. “It’s really about fostering diversity,” explains Yale spokesperson Tom Conroy. “Some people, including President Bush, apparently, think hard drinking is all that higher education has to offer today. We want people to know, though, that a rich, vibrant tradition of marijuana, cocaine, and LSD use that is alive and well at Yale University.”

from the backyard-sunbathers-take-note dept.

The Guardian is one of several outlets carrying an AP story documenting the end of the U.S. government’s traditional dominance in spy satellite imagery. Between the national programs of countries like China and India, and commercial entities like Ikonos, satellite surveillance is increasingly available to anyone who wants it. Speaking in a recent Senate hearing, CIA Director George J. Tenet gave a glum assessment of the situation: “The bottom line is, this is going to make it much more difficult for us to lie to other nations – and even to our own people. Frankly, it sucks.”

from the fratboy-diplomacy dept.

The Financial Times (among others) has the story of Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon’s ongoing rejection of dubya’s call for an end to the Israeli military campaign in the West Bank. Speaking to the Knesset, Sharon vowed to continue the operation “for as long as it takes.” In previous phone conversations with Bush, Sharon explained that he has been hampered in his efforts to wrap things up quickly by his concern over the large number of Palestinian civilians in the area. “They keep moving,” Sharon reportedly told Bush, “which makes shooting them much more difficult and time-consuming.”

from the retroactive-self-promotion dept.

Reuters has a report of a recent study showing that lying on job applications has increased sharply. The study, by a British employee screening firm, looked at a sample of 877 CVs submitted with job applications during the last half of 2001, finding that 54% of the applications contained “inaccuracies” about such things as educational background and previous employment. The study also found that the incidence of inaccuracies shot up by 20% during the last quarter of 2001, apparently a response to job seekers competing for fewer openings during the current economic downturn.

from the top-this dept.

From the LA Times comes this story of the 27th annual Pegleg Smith Liars’ Contest, an event in which a bunch of people huddle under blankets in the middle of the Anza Borrego desert and celebrate the memory of a one-legged alcoholic prospector who was also a pathological liar by telling made-up stories about the man. No, really.

from the nobody’s-listening-to-me,-dammit dept.

The Washington Post is one of many outlets carrying the story of dubya’s increasing frustration with Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon over the latter’s ongoing West Bank incursion. In any given war of words Bush is obviously going to be outgunned, but it’s not clear to me that this is going to remain a standard-issue Mideast-peace nuance-fest. The President’s “moral clarity” (read: near-total ignorance of the issues, combined with a post-9/11 sense of urgency) make him something of a wildcard, one that might play out in any number of interesting ways once he realizes (as everyone else already has) that he’s out of his depth here.

from the hold-still-for-a-second dept.

From Reuters (via Yahoo News) comes this story of a French mother of two who has been convicted of spraying tear gas on a stranger in a supermarket parking lot. The woman testified that she just wanted to see if the newly purchased product worked. (Jeez. French people. Why couldn’t she just test it on her kids, like an American mother?)

from the would-you-like-spies,-er,-fries,-with-that? dept.

From the LA Times comes this story of “mystery shoppers”: folks who pose as customers in order to spy on retail employees. This sort of thing isn’t particular new; I remember the dread with which we clerks viewed the prospect of being “shopped” by the owner’s spies back when I was ringing up ciggies and beer at Mr. B’s Liquor 20 years ago. But apparently the practice is growing, as businesses (especially fast food outlets) try to combat the erosion in customer service they’ve seen of late.

from the forward-into-the-past dept.

From the summer of 1997 comes this reposting from the original lies.com site. This is the story I ran when I was thinking that the site might be taken away from me by George Rafter’s bogus trademark-infringement action, which had caused me to reflect on why I’d created the site in the first place. Anyway, here it is (again).

(more…)

from the shining-happy-medicated-people dept.

Proving that having charismatic rock stars as character witnesses never hurts, REM guitarist Peter Buck has been acquitted by a British jury in his “air rage” trial. The jury apparently bought Buck’s assertion that it was an unintended side effect of a sleeping pill, rather than a prodigious quantity of wine, that caused him to wig out on the British Airways flight. The prosecution branded Buck a liar, but jurors apparently found the testimony of U2’s Bono, who characterized Buck as “famously peaceful,” more compelling. Cool.

from the love,-honor,-and-obey-the-crackpot-whims dept.

Yahoo News has the story of 25-year-old Sian Thurkettle, a British woman who has seen E.T. (the sappy Spielberg movie with the not-yet-drug-addicted Drew Barrymore) no fewer than 773 times. What I find most amazing about the story is Thurkettle’s husband George, who despite having to endure his wife’s being moved to tears during at least 100 viewings at which he couldn’t manage not to be present, has so far managed to resist the urge to end either her life or his own. I guess he feels he owes her for her willingness to share the last name “Thurkettle”.

from the ashes-to-ashes,-kitty-litter-to-kitty-litter dept.

CNN is running this story of the explosive growth in the “pet-death industry”. Among the things mentioned are the rise in pet cemeteries, pet sympathy cards, and support groups for grieving pet-death survivors. “Yet even as the options for mourning a pet multiply, many owners still fear their grief might be mocked or misunderstood,” the article says. Oops. Look, for the record, I’m not the sort of choom who would mock somebody for their grief. Death is death, sorrow is sorrow, and people who can find it in their hearts to love and mourn for other living creatures, be they ape-descended tool-using hominids or otherwise, are okay in my book. Shame on me.

from the if-only-they’d-use-English dept.

In the wake of the recent 6.8-magnitude earthquake in Taiwan, officials at a wildlife park are reporting that 1,000 crocodiles started making strange grunting noises and scrambling for higher ground about 20 minutes before the quake struck. As is typical in such cases, human observers failed to make the connection between the animals’ unusual behavior and the impending catastrophe until it was too late. One crocodile, speaking on condition that he remain anonymous, likened the scaly beasts’ predicament to that of the character Legolas in the recent Lord of the Rings movie. “We say, ‘Hey. There’s some bad juju coming. We can feel it.’ But does anyone pay any attention to us? Of course not. We’re just dumb animals to you.” The creature went on to point out that his species has survived essentially unchanged since before the age of the dinosaurs. “T. Rex never paid any attention to us either.”

from the onward-pinstriped-soldiers dept.

From Janus comes this mention of the IBM Songbook, a 1931 exercise in groupthink that I find both uplifting and disturbing.

from the I-must-have-this dept.

I’ve always been an avid collector of field guides, so when my friend Yarbelito showed me this one, I knew my life would never be the same: I will not rest until I’ve obtained my own personal copy of The Golden Guide to Hallucinogenic Plants.

from the ah,-more-about-Britney dept.

From the fine folks at BBspot comes a link to this gem: a Google page documenting the incidence of misspellings of “Britney Spears” in the search requests they see. So, there are apparently nearly 600 different ways to spell her name, all of which have been entered by at least a couple (and sometimes many more) users over the past few months, all of which Google will successfully interpret as being a search for her. Wow. That’s just… um, something.

from the screw-you dept.

A majority of Americans believes society is getting ruder, a new survey finds. Citing things like reckless driving, cell-phone use in theaters, and poor customer service in retail stores, 61% of those surveyed said they’d noticed a definite trend toward ruder behavior in recent years. “Americans have always had a reputation for being self-centered and ignorant, which foreigners sometimes interpret as rudeness,” observes Mark Ornosky of the National Rudeness Council. “But as a nation, the knock on us has always been that once you get to know us, we’re actually fairly nice folks. What this survey shows is that we’re making real progress in erasing that stigma, at least among ourselves.” The challenge now, according to Ornosky, will be to turn that rude behavior outward, displaying it consistently in our interactions with others around the world. “Like the French,” he says. “Those guys are assholes to everyone.”

from the bring-it-on,-Mr.-Nutty dept.

Anonymous nonbelieverineveryemailtrashtalkingidiot writes Subject: By Paul Harvey – Conveniently Forgotten Facts, and goes on to submit the entire Paul Harvey/Black Panther/Hillary Clinton hoax. Which is cool with me; anti-Hillary rants have a long and entertaining history at lies.com, dating back to the Web Walker’s postings on the way old version of the site. But before anyone’s blood pressure gets too high, I feel compelled to point to this more or less thorough debunking of the story.