If you sneak home to take a 1 hour nap on your lunch break AND you have cream-colored flannel sheets AND you’re wearing dark gray wool pants the gig is up sister they all know. you look like lamb chop went through the drier with you. also your cardigan is completely bed wrinkled.
Max and Keeper Of The Seeds are clearly soulmates.
“So we take the war rig and charge it right through the middle of them. We can decouple the tank right at the pass, shut it off behind us” “Kaboom!” *Max pointing like ‘She gets it!’* *Furiosa closing her eyes because she thought her life was already out of control before this moment*
I’m gonna need some fic of Keep and Max talking, maybe her kinda affectionately bossing him around. Maybe giving him some horrible alcoholic drink she’s brewed.
you’re missing the best part:
they need to be explosion buddies, there needs to be random explosions at the Citadel and Furiosa just, every time, closes her eyes and like, TAKE IT OUTSIDE, because jfc they’re under a thousand tons of rocks, ppl plz
you know what this doesn’t even need to be an AU, max spent at least half the day with her cackling in the rig’s backseat, she’s just gonna be the worst ghost backseat driver during his hijinks, “what are you doing, don’t chew that, stick ‘em in a still, those herbs are good, boy you listen to me, that scraggly thing will take the hair right off your face, stick it in that bottle come-on now, give it 60 days and you’ll be singing and it’ll double as emergency guzz”
and
“behind you boy, raider’s gonna snap you, look sharp!”
and
“that’s a tanker, that’s what it is, that’s a lotttttt of oil we don’t want heading where it’s heading, am I right?”
“*sgrunt*”
“those rocks look mighty flinty to me”
“mmmm”
“kaboom?”
“mmgh…yup.”
“kaboom.”
and at some point at the Citadel, Furiosa staring down at the practice range.
“Your shot’s different.”
“…been taking some pointers.”
And her eyes narrow at the way he’s loading the long gun.
I am here for the AU where she lives but I am also VERY MUCH HERE for Keep being Max’s newest ghost/hallucination. He is totally cool with it because she’s pretty good company and sometimes she tells the other ghosts to shut up and let the boy think. She also has all sorts of practical advice and he kind of enjoys her whoops of glee when he opens up the engine of his car or bike.
(Learning to properly shut her out when he’s in bed with Furiosa and Keep is offering helpful advice is another matter. Most of the advice actually IS really helpful, too)
“Max, why did you throw the blanket at the wall?”
“…uh.”
LIKE OH MY GOD IF KEEPER’S WALKING HIM THRU VUVALINI COURTSHIP RITUALS, BUT, FURIOSA DOESN’T EVEN NOTICE (OR MAYBE JUST IN HER LIZARD BRAIN NOTICES) BECAUSE IT’S BEEN AGES AND SHE DOESN’T EXPECT IT FROM MAX. LIKE SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO CAN AND MAX DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO CAN BECAUSE NEITHER OF THEM CAN.
And the Keeper is just so long suffering and wishing she could drink from that still and being a horrible matchmaker.
“maybe if I trip the boy, he’s twitchy enough.”
“can I lock this room? maybe I can lock this room.”
“dammit, the food poisoning didn’t work, steel stomach on that one.”
“…they’re the most boring drunks I’d’ever did see.”
At some point after the first orgasm she’s ever had in company, Furiosa is staring up at the ceiling, all loose limbed and glassy eyed, and mumbles “Where.. how.. did you know that…?”
And Max just knows he is not going to hear the gleefully triumphant end about that forever. He probably owes Keep a long bike ride or a bigass explosion now.
WHAT. BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE EXPLOSIONS HAPPEN?
#shot
seriously tho, Max is gonna get such a rep with the War Boys, they’ll be all OMG PICK ME SENPAI because all the best booms come from runs with him and he’d just get this thousand yard stare when there’s enemy at the gates and Furiosa doesn’t even say anything anymore just hands him a gas cannister and gives them that Imperator look that means ‘don’t fuck up anything important’ but that he knows means ‘stay safe’ and that Keeper knows means ‘don’t have too much fun’ and the hair rises on the back of Furiosa’s neck as Keeper cackles because AS IF
