This is the extremely upsetting truth about baby carrots.
I choose to believe yulinkuang reblogged this specifically so I would see it and add it to my own bag of lies. Which is now a collection of LIES LIES AND THE LYING LIARS WHO BAG CARROTS.
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So, am in New York right now!! (Lies, I’m totally in newark instead but let’s pretend that’s not true). Much excitement, and I shall get some Caribbean pics up soon! The highlights so far include being called american, eating pizza, and getting two seats to myself both flights
Zippy was 3 hours away from me for a few hours and I didn’t get to see her but I am BEYOND EXCITED that she is coming to see me in a month. A MONTH. I don’t understand how people think she’s American. She doesn’t have a thick accent or anything but let’s be honest, she doesn’t sound American. Maybe it’s because she’s so nice and personable :)
Be jealous that I get to see her.
And raise your hand if you want to hang out and show her American stuff for a week. Disney and I want to take her camping on Assateague and eat crabs but that’s all we’ve got so far. I’ll be working and she says she wants to meet my crazy boss so that’ll happen. Prepare yourselves for Zippy spam. Twice in one year!
Confession: I had a moment of wondering, “Why is this zippawingo person Alix is reblogging putting a parenthetical aside addressed to me in her post?”
My Tumblr ego is out of control.
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So I actually want to thank you for the ask, anon. Not for the hateful accusation (obviously, because srsly, wtf) but for the reminder of something I’ve been thinking about lately, which is how Tumblr gives me a chance to experience being a member of a disadvantaged minority, if only briefly and in a limited context.
I’m aware, on an intellectual level (mostly because of Tumblr itself) that I enjoy lots of privilege. I’m white, male, heterosexual, cisgendered… In almost every way it’s possible to have an undeserved, societally-enforced advantage, I have it.
I try to be aware of my privilege, and of the unfair discrimination that is its flipside. But that’s not the same as actually experiencing a tiny taste of discrimination myself.
Being subjected to slurs and negative stereotypes not because of anything I’ve done, but merely because you hold an irrational animus, sucks. And I can know that intellectually, but actually experiencing it firsthand is way more effective at helping me understand how unjust it is.
So thanks for the lesson. But no, I don’t plan to go away anytime soon. You should just block me. We’ll both be happier.
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Ever is a very long time. Eventually I will be forced to give it up willing or not.
The available evidence suggests that it won’t happen soon, though.
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That’s a really nice offer. But no, I don’t want to give up the ‘lies’ URL at this time.
A lot of people have talked about being able to gain me followers. I guess you can offer that because you would promote my (new) blog URL to your own followers? Is that right?
That means you could basically do that right now, if you wanted to. That is, you could promo me, just as an act of goodwill, to demonstrate your bona fides. So far no ‘lies’ URL suitor has ever done that. But it would actually put them in a really good light if they did.
Attention ‘lies’ URL suitors: If you want to motivate me to consider giving you the URL, you could do worse than promoing me to your followers.
Q: If I suddenly got a big influx of new followers, and it was the result of your having given me a gratis promo, how grateful would that make me?
A: Extremely grateful.
Q: Grateful enough to give you my URL?
A: Probably not. But who knows?
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For a number of years now I’ve worked as a programmer, or to give it its fancier name, as a software engineer. I didn’t train professionally for that job. I studied political theory (mostly) along with some history and archaeology in college. When I’ve applied for jobs as a programmer I’ve needed to rely heavily on the “or equivalent experience” clause in order to qualify.
It turns out, though, that you can acquire an engineering mindset without formal training. The job itself inculcates a certain set of attitudes, certain tools and approaches.
One thing it teaches bigtime is a tendency to want to use functional decomposition. What I mean is, when presented with a complex problem that at first appears insoluble, it can sometimes help to try to break it down into smaller pieces. That’s the first impulse I had when reading your ask. So let’s do that: break it down into its constituent pieces.
i’d do anything to have your url
This phrase seems to come up a lot in the URL requests I’ve received. Over time I’ve come to realize that it must be a popular figure of speech with younger people today. As an older person less-familiar with that usage, I’m inclined to interpret it literally, which makes me immediately want to ask, “Really? Anything? You’d literally do anything to have the ‘lies’ Tumblr URL?”
what do you want in exchange for it?
The fact that your own Tumblr URL is “slaive” leads to a fairly chilling idea: Would you literally sell yourself into slavery in return for the ‘lies’ Tumblr URL? I know human slavery has been outlawed most places, though I also know that things depressingly similar to slavery continue to happen. Setting aside the squeamishness I feel at even considering the notion, it does make for an interesting thought experiment: if you could literally, actually sell yourself to me as a slave for the ‘lies’ Tumblr URL, would I consider taking it?
What would one do with a slave? I guess it would basically be like having an unpaid personal assistant. Or I could hire you out to perform certain kinds of work, and collect the money you earn and keep it for myself. Of course, I’d have to spend a certain amount to keep you alive, too, so you could go on earning money for me.
Hm. Do you have useful job skills? Do you have a job currently? How much do you make? I know the job market is really tough these days. Even people with college degrees have a really hard time finding gainful employment.
please be nice
This part hits home. Is it mean of me to write these involved, rambling responses to URL requests? I don’t want to be a mean person. I feel a certain obligation to be nice to URL suitors, even when they don’t explicitly ask me to, as you have. By asking for the URL, you make me feel like I possess something valuable. You give me the opportunity to feel important, at least in this small, lame way. I want to be nice to you. I feel sympathetic toward you.
im a very active blog and i’ll take care of it
I’m sure you would. It wouldn’t be the same, though. I just took a look at your blog, and I’m kind of fascinated by it, and more, by the differences between your own idea of what a blog should be and my own.
Still, it means a lot to me that you’d take care of the URL. If it ended up that I did give the ‘lies’ Tumblr URL to you, that would give me a lot of comfort. Thank you for that.
But no, I think I’ll keep it for myself for now. But thank you for asking so nicely!
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And I want you to have it!
Unfortunately, my desire for you to have it is slightly exceeded by my desire to keep it for myself.
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Well, I’ll put you in the pool of interested parties. Amazingly, you aren’t the first to ask this.
You are the first to offer undying love, though. I have to admit, if there were a way to actually guarantee your delivering on the promise, I’d give it serious thought. What else do we live for, after all?
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PSA for covetous lies-URL suitors.
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anonsally replied to your post: frickly asked:your so lucky to ha…
When did you get it?
My first post on this tumblr appears to be this one, posted on September 22, 2012. So it must have been shortly before that.
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This is 100% true. I didn’t ask anyone for it, didn’t pay anything for it, didn’t trade with or promo anyone for it. I just wanted a tumblr account so I could more effectively interact with fellow fans of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and it was the first thing I tried, and it was available.
Almost immediately I began receiving asks from people who wanted the URL. It wasn’t until the third or fourth one that I even understood what they were talking about.
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Thank you for your very nice request. No, I don’t think I am likely to trade or give the ‘lies’ URL to you at this time, though I don’t doubt that you would do a fabulous job with it if I did.
I’m curious why you see the word ‘lies’ as being so meaningful, and if by any chance you’ve approached the possessor of the tumblr URL ‘truth’ with the same request. If you could have either URL, which one would you prefer? I’ve been wondering about that myself lately (not that the owner of ‘truth’ has approached me about it, at least not so far).
Thanks again, and good luck in your quest for meaning. Diogenes supposedly walked around with a lantern in daylight to dramatize his search for honesty. I suspect that looking for lies will be a lot easier.
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I’m glad you asked. But sorry, no. Not at the moment.
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Oh right; sorry. Well, what sort of correctly spelled alternate URLs are we talking about?
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Spelling is important. Thank goodness for spellcheck and autocorrect. And dictionaries; don’t forget dictionaries.
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I would probably consider a straight-up trade for “truth” (or at least I’d experience a weird existential angst while making the choice). But the “-ed” at the end is enough to tip the scales in favor of my keeping “lies”.
I’m curious how you make money with your Tumblr URL, though. How does that work?
Also: good job on the college student/aspiring med student thing. Given my advancing age, wouldn’t it be a hoot if some day I was receiving some crucial medical care and the person administering it turned out to be you?
“Okay, Mr. Callender… John Callender? Say, you wouldn’t be the same John Callender who once possessed the ‘lies’ Tumblr URL, would you?”
*cough* *gasp* ”Why, yes.” *cough* “I am. Why do you ask?”
The shoe would certainly be on the other foot then, wouldn’t it? I’m sure you would live up to the terms of your Hippocratic oath and do your best for me. But what a cruel irony it would be if the effectiveness of your treatment was reduced, even a little, because of the extra time you had to spend supporting yourself, time you could have spent studying if only I’d been willing to trade you the ‘lies’ URL.
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Thank you for asking so nicely. I think this may actually be the nicest request I’ve ever received for the ‘lies’ URL. You were direct, honest, and clearly had done your homework. There was perhaps just a hint of self-abasement, which makes me feel a little guilty, so on some level I hope that was you cynically trying to manipulate me, since then my guilt in inducing it would be less.
But I suspect it was a sincere indication of your desire for the URL, and a willingness to prostrate yourself before its current possessor if that’s what it would take to get him to consider giving it to you. And since the rest of your request displays signs of the aforementioned homework, I’m confronted by the fact that along with picking up on the other things I’ve indicated about how to ask properly, you also picked up a sense that I might be interested in a little groveling.
I apologize for that. I don’t want to be the kind of person who makes innocent strangers grovel. I started my practice of teasing URL suitors because I thought it was funny, but finding humor in the frustrated desire of others is a dick move. So again, I’m sorry.
I’m not currently planning to give up the ‘lies’ URL. But if I were to give it up, you are exactly the kind of intelligent, sincere, hopeful person who would deserve to have it, and I bet you’d do a wonderful job of posting insightful, interesting content on it.
My dad has always been prone to obsessions, and one that I remember from my childhood was his obsession with the writings of Carlos Castañeda. Castañeda wrote a series of purportedly true but in all likelihood heavily fictionalized bestsellers back in the 1960s and 70s describing his shamanistic training by a Yacqui wise man named Don Juan. They were cool stories, and as a kid I wanted them to be true. On some level I still do, though experience with the world has made me skeptical.
But the books still have truth in them, even if that truth is embedded in a larger lie (as all truths are, ultimately). One passage that has stayed with me is when Don Juan is explaining to his pupil the difference between being a warrior and being a slave. The slave bows to anyone he deems to be higher than himself, but demands that anyone lower bow to him in turn. The warrior bows to no one — but neither does he let anyone else bow to him.
Don’t bow to anyone, Ricardo. Or at least not to someone like me.
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Srsly wtf I know right? And why this URL? I mean, it’s not exactly a term one would be proud of. I hope at least that the owners of @truth, @justice, and @beauty get as many URL requests as I do.
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Sure. But only to you. And I have to be sure that it really is you, not some impostor trying to horn in on your good fortune.
Hm. Assuming this is you. How do I even know you’re the same anon I was originally talking to? You should be ashamed of yourself, trying to steal anon #1’s URL.
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Thanks for your opinions about the url thing, guys :):
rosieramblings replied to your post “Been thinking about changing my url. What do you guys think about…”
Do it if you want! Just let me know what you change it too as I get confused on my dash easily!Will make a post about it if I do it, so people don’t think I suddenly disappeared…
Reblogging for interesting discussion. And also so I can put it in the tag.
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