lauraannegilman:Dem 1: Man, I like Bernie’s progressive platform, but people are going to get…

Sunday, February 23rd, 2020


Dem 1: Man, I like Bernie’s progressive platform, but people are going to get driven away by the “socialist” label.

E Warren: *waves enthusiastically*

Dem 2: Yeah, it’s hard to imagine white suburban soccer moms voting for Bernie, especially in the Midwest…

E Warren: Hi! I’m literally a former white suburban soccer mom! I’ve still got the minivan!

Dem 2: And Buttigieg is so smart– like ridiculously smart… but too centrist for me.

E Warren: *stares in Harvard Law professor*

Dem 1: I worry about voting for Bloomberg. He does great ads, but he’s got all those serious issues around race I don’t think I can get past.

E Warren: *holds up first place ranking on the 2020 Racial Justice Presidential Candidate Scorecard*

Dem 2: And have you heard some of the shit he’s said about women? Why can’t we have a candidate that respects women?

E Warren: *stares in woman*

Dem 1: Ah, I just don’t know who to vote for. Biden? It kind of feels like he’s too moderate, but I like that he has experience in the Senate.

E Warren: *polishes “Senator” name tag

Dem 2: I dunno. Amy Klobuchar is definitely a tough woman, and it would be nice to see a woman in the White House, but I think she’s too moderate for me.

E. Warren: *high fives Klobuchar, because GO GIRL, proceeds to check if she is, in fact, invisible.

Dem 1: I just don’t know. If feels like we don’t have a clear best choice.

E. Warren: *looks down at dog Bailey* You can see me, right?

Bailey: Woof!

E. Warren: Good boy. *smiles for five millionth selfie.*

#Warren2020 #DreamBigFight

—attributed to Emily Holmes

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