I lost my father to Pokemon Go and I regret so many life decisions. Iām the one who told him about the game. Iām the one who initially encouraged him. What have I done?
Now he starts every phone call with a Pokemon update. He gets all the names wrong and asks me what a Dragonite is called every time he brings up the āfat fighting orange dragonā
Itās gotten so bad heās started watching the anime on Netflix. Help.
Okay adding to this. My dad isnāt great at remembering the names of things. So during our pokemon update phone calls, he says shit like this:
āI have a cool pineapple head now!ā
āI was down to my last stripey ball trying to catch the blue dragon snake. I told him if he ran away I was gonna be so mad.ā
āAnd the gym had one of those big fat orange dragons!ā (he stillĀ canāt remember what a Dragonite is called)
BUT THEN. but then. heās also like, OUTRAGEOUSLY into it now? Heās level 27 and talks about howĀ āthe gym wars are brutal, babe,ā and how long it takes to take down a level 10 gym? (LEVEL T E N)
And a couple weeks ago he called me to talk about the merits of the old-style Gyrados (which he pronounces guy-rad-os sorry I canāt stop him) that has the dragon breath move, versus the new ones that donāt because Niantic made a change. And he has like 6 Gyrados because his work is by a Magikarp nest or something? HOW MANY fucking magikarp do you catch for 6 gyrados? Heās about to evolve two more. H E L P.
and he says shit like,Ā āLearning about individualized values really radicalized my thinking.ā and he means it. Before he evolves ANY pokemon he googles CP estimates and has a pokemon calculator??
This morning he called me because he finally has enough Dratini candy to evolve a fat fighting dragon and wanted to talk about which Dragonair he should evolve. (One with high CP but bad IVs, one with medium-high CP, but okay IVs, and one with the lowest CP of the 3, but A+ IVs) And at this point heās so far beyond my skill with the game (heās been higher-leveled than me for months now) that I donāt even know what to tell him. I literally canāt advise him.
My father is more of a pokemon master than I ever was. The other day he texted me the team rocket theme song.
Team Instinct. I told him I was Team Valor when I first told him about the game and he was like,Ā āOkay Iāll join your team babe!ā
And then idk he forgot?? And when his account crashed after a week he did a Pikachu restart (that should have tipped me off about the impending obession tbh) and he picked Instinct again.
I aināt even mad bruh. He so clearly belongs in Instinct. Heās happy there. Itās his natural habitat. Before work he goes and meets up with some other Instinct people to take the Georgetown Cupcake gym in DC. Itās super cute.
My dad will be your Team Instinct dad if you need one
So my dad has always been in the habit of getting to work early. I donāt know wtf he used to do, but now when he gets in early, he goes to the Georgetown Cupcake gym in DC and apparently teams up withĀ āsome friends Iāve never metā to take down the gym for Team Instinct.
Then he goes to work and keeps the game open so he can grab Magikarp every couple minutes. Apparently his work is like ON a friggin nest.
He keeps his Pokemon Go habit a secret at work. Nobody knows. On his lunch break, he says,Ā āhey Iām gonna go for a walkā and goes on a 12-pokestop loop. He makes sure to hit up the local Dratini and Pikachu nests (the presence of which is UNFAIR AF). He also take a few minutes to reinforceĀ āhisā gym, by which point has been under attack a few times.
At work, he keeps his phone on data instead of wifi (he has unlimited data. For some godforsaken reason he went through 30GB/mo BEFORE Pokemon Go.) because that means his avatar jumps around a bit more?? He says he opens and closes the app a few times to reset it and get the GPS connection to reset and nab him a few pokemon.
Apparently he gets about 140 pokeballs a day. And goes through them all.
This got a new batch of notes, so hereās a Dad Update.
He has 114 Pikachu candy. I hate him. Apparently heās watching the anime almost every night. Heās on season 2. I think heās just gonna go through and watch it A L LĀ which is a prospect so terrifying it needs no explanation.
Out of the 6 Gyrados heās evolved, heās kept the top 3. He sent me some screencaps the other day of his current top-contender Magikarp and the pokedex entry, where you can see heās caught 585 of them.
Five hundredĀ eighty five. Who tf has TIME for that??
Apparently he still hasnāt decided which Magikarp to evolve.
He should make level 28 in a day or so.
this dad will truly protect the world from devastation
āThe ideal way to check for a service is to use an exec resource with refreshonly set to true, such as in this case one of the blocks of that basaltic elder masonry which the fabled Great Race held in such fearā
Despite being the smallest bird of prey in North America, the American Kestrel is a fierce and specialized predator. Like other birds, the kestrel can see ultraviolet light. This allows it to see urine trails left by rodents. It is like seeing a neon trail to their prey. This is one of the many interesting facts about the most colorful and smallest bird of prey in North America. They can be seen perched on signs and other man-made objects near the Tumey, Panoche, and Griswold Hills.
