airyairyquitecontrary: emirael: emirael: emirael: emirael: emirael: I lost my father to…

Monday, May 15th, 2017

airyairyquitecontrary:

emirael:

emirael:

emirael:

emirael:

emirael:

I lost my father to Pokemon Go and I regret so many life decisions. I’m the one who told him about the game. I’m the one who initially encouraged him. What have I done?

Now he starts every phone call with a Pokemon update. He gets all the names wrong and asks me what a Dragonite is called every time he brings up the “fat fighting orange dragon”

It’s gotten so bad he’s started watching the anime on Netflix. Help.

Okay adding to this. My dad isn’t great at remembering the names of things. So during our pokemon update phone calls, he says shit like this:

“I have a cool pineapple head now!”

“I was down to my last stripey ball trying to catch the blue dragon snake. I told him if he ran away I was gonna be so mad.”

“And the gym had one of those big fat orange dragons!” (he still can’t remember what a Dragonite is called)

BUT THEN. but then. he’s also like, OUTRAGEOUSLY into it now? He’s level 27 and talks about how “the gym wars are brutal, babe,” and how long it takes to take down a level 10 gym? (LEVEL T E N)

And a couple weeks ago he called me to talk about the merits of the old-style Gyrados (which he pronounces guy-rad-os sorry I can’t stop him) that has the dragon breath move, versus the new ones that don’t because Niantic made a change. And he has like 6 Gyrados because his work is by a Magikarp nest or something? HOW MANY fucking magikarp do you catch for 6 gyrados? He’s about to evolve two more. H E L P.

and he says shit like, “Learning about individualized values really radicalized my thinking.” and he means it. Before he evolves ANY pokemon he googles CP estimates and has a pokemon calculator??

This morning he called me because he finally has enough Dratini candy to evolve a fat fighting dragon and wanted to talk about which Dragonair he should evolve. (One with high CP but bad IVs, one with medium-high CP, but okay IVs, and one with the lowest CP of the 3, but A+ IVs) And at this point he’s so far beyond my skill with the game (he’s been higher-leveled than me for months now) that I don’t even know what to tell him. I literally can’t advise him.

My father is more of a pokemon master than I ever was. The other day he texted me the team rocket theme song.

Team Instinct. I told him I was Team Valor when I first told him about the game and he was like, “Okay I’ll join your team babe!”

And then idk he forgot?? And when his account crashed after a week he did a Pikachu restart (that should have tipped me off about the impending obession tbh) and he picked Instinct again.

I ain’t even mad bruh. He so clearly belongs in Instinct. He’s happy there. It’s his natural habitat. Before work he goes and meets up with some other Instinct people to take the Georgetown Cupcake gym in DC. It’s super cute.

My dad will be your Team Instinct dad if you need one

So my dad has always been in the habit of getting to work early. I don’t know wtf he used to do, but now when he gets in early, he goes to the Georgetown Cupcake gym in DC and apparently teams up with “some friends I’ve never met” to take down the gym for Team Instinct.

Then he goes to work and keeps the game open so he can grab Magikarp every couple minutes. Apparently his work is like ON a friggin nest.

He keeps his Pokemon Go habit a secret at work. Nobody knows. On his lunch break, he says, “hey I’m gonna go for a walk” and goes on a 12-pokestop loop. He makes sure to hit up the local Dratini and Pikachu nests (the presence of which is UNFAIR AF). He also take a few minutes to reinforce ‘his’ gym, by which point has been under attack a few times.

At work, he keeps his phone on data instead of wifi (he has unlimited data. For some godforsaken reason he went through 30GB/mo BEFORE Pokemon Go.) because that means his avatar jumps around a bit more?? He says he opens and closes the app a few times to reset it and get the GPS connection to reset and nab him a few pokemon.

Apparently he gets about 140 pokeballs a day. And goes through them all.

This got a new batch of notes, so here’s a Dad Update.

He has 114 Pikachu candy. I hate him. Apparently he’s watching the anime almost every night. He’s on season 2. I think he’s just gonna go through and watch it A L L which is a prospect so terrifying it needs no explanation.

Out of the 6 Gyrados he’s evolved, he’s kept the top 3. He sent me some screencaps the other day of his current top-contender Magikarp and the pokedex entry, where you can see he’s caught 585 of them.

Five hundred eighty five. Who tf has TIME for that??

Apparently he still hasn’t decided which Magikarp to evolve.

He should make level 28 in a day or so.

this dad will truly protect the world from devastation

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sineadpersaud: shipwreckedcomedy: “These posters are dumb.” On…

Saturday, August 20th, 2016

sineadpersaud:

shipwreckedcomedy:

“These posters are dumb.”

On August 22nd, Sinead Persaud is Lenore the Lady Ghost.

Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party coming soon to Shipwrecked Comedy!

Trailer | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

Lenore hopes some of these authors are bae. Otherwise it’s gonna be a long night. :/

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Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Appear in ‘Merchant of Venice’ Production

Tuesday, March 29th, 2016

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Appear in ‘Merchant of Venice’ Production:

despairoftranslators:

WHAT THE ACTUAL WHAT? 

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buzzfeed: @linmanuel describes the time Kanye and Kim attended…

Monday, March 7th, 2016

buzzfeed:

@linmanuel describes the time Kanye and Kim attended “Hamilton.” [x]

Illustrations by @hinsonmike.

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Max: Confucamus!

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2015

Max: Confucamus!

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nospockdasgay: themishimishishow: The first few seconds of…

Monday, June 22nd, 2015

nospockdasgay:

themishimishishow:

The first few seconds of this are the best. All hail the Doof Wagon and crazy Doof Warior! The guitar is real as is everything you see! 

So fucking cool.

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dontbesodroopy:Gender Swap: Sherlock Holmes.Come, Watson, come!…

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

dontbesodroopy:

Gender Swap: Sherlock Holmes.

Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot.

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“The ideal way to check for a service is to use an exec resource with refreshonly set to true, such…”

Friday, December 5th, 2014

“The ideal way to check for a service is to use an exec resource with refreshonly set to true, such as in this case one of the blocks of that basaltic elder masonry which the fabled Great Race held in such fear”

(via thedoomthatcametopuppet)

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anonsally: mypubliclands: Despite being the smallest bird of…

Wednesday, July 30th, 2014

anonsally:

mypubliclands:

Despite being the smallest bird of prey in North America, the American Kestrel is a fierce and specialized predator. Like other birds, the kestrel can see ultraviolet light. This allows it to see urine trails left by rodents. It is like seeing a neon trail to their prey. This is one of the many interesting facts about the most colorful and smallest bird of prey in North America. They can be seen perched on signs and other man-made objects near the Tumey, Panoche, and Griswold Hills.

BLM Photo: M. Westphal

This is the principal of Parulidae Junior High. She is pretty intimidating.

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