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Okay okay okay. So I’ve seen Star Trek: First Contact about a hundred times and I can’t believe I never noticed this.

So first contact with the Vulcans happens, right? The Vulcan ship lands…

Ooh look an alien. Pointy ears!

He offers what we as Star Trek fans recognize as the traditional Vulcan greeting.

Zefram Cochrane tries to copy…

Haha he can’t do it.

So he of course offers what he knows to be a traditional greeting, namely a handshake.

And ah yes, what a wonderful moment. Two cultures are exchanging greetings, learning about each other. It’s awesome.

Until you remember that Vulcans kiss with their hands.

So basically, this Vulcan offered a nice polite “how do you do” and Zefram Cochrane offered smoochies.

I really hope this came up in conversation later.

The Vulcans did a Kirk on the whole human race.


The person above was right, Vulcan’s kiss with their hands. But typically, the way they kiss only involves their index and middle finger being pressed against another person’s. That is a kiss.

In, “The Search for Spock,” you see that in the Vulcan culture, just running your fingers against someone else’s can be considered sex (the scene is super strange, but it’s heavily implied, forgive me if I’m wrong).

So, going on that thought, this isn’t just a kiss.

This is like, a make-out session, or at least a long, passionate kiss.

I just, I just can’t get over it because:

1. There are are other Vulcan’s watching these guys, but the Vulcan in front just fucking accepts the kiss.

2. This takes a second right? Like, Zefram can’t do the Vulcan salute so he offers his hand and this Vulcan just gives him this face like, “oh, um, alright? I guess I shouldn’t refuse.” And he just ACCEPTS IT.

The best thing over all is, after they connect, this Vulcan just gives this guy bedroom eyes. It’s like he’s thinking, “well, bold of you sir, bold. Such a strong grip. Perhaps we can do this again in private.”

I just…


You don’t get to be a space diplomat unless you are fully ready to fuck an alien. 

You don’t get to be a space diplomat unless you are fully ready to fuck an alien. 

This explains so much about Star Trek.

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Tags: this is the best st meta i've seen in a while.

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