theonion: Guantanamo Bay Begins Construction On Senior Care…

theonion:

Guantanamo Bay Begins Construction On Senior Care Wing 

GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA—Saying the expansion would ensure the facility is adequately prepared for upcoming challenges, officials at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp announced Wednesday that they had broken ground on a new geriatric care wing. “Our senior care center will be located immediately adjacent to Camp Delta and will contain all of the essentials our detainee population will need in the years ahead, including easy-access ramps from the confinement block to the exercise yard as well as wall-mounted grab bars and no-slip mats in the shower area,” said Brigadier General Marion Garcia, who added that the facility’s 116 beds and each of its various enhanced interrogation rooms would be located on the ground floor so that inmates will not have to go up or down any stairs when moving about, thereby avoiding unnecessary strains on their joints and helping to prevent falls.

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Tags: i read all the way to the end of this, before I noticed the source, and I was feeling legitimately pissed off, but then I just felt sad, this and the drowning elephant one from the other day, the onion's been making a point of it lately, i think it's important to notice, when the people who are so good at making you laugh, decide to use that power to a slightly different end.

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