kerrikins: UGH, slimy, slimy, slimy. Spoiler-y stuff…


UGH, slimy, slimy, slimy.

Spoiler-y stuff follows.

I’m having trouble figuring out what this all is intended to mean. Presumably Wickham is behind the site, and we’ll get some more pieces of that puzzle tomorrow when Lydia unloads on him and yells, “Eat a peach, douchebag” (or whatever she’s going to yell). But judging by the comments MK previously made about shooting the photo, I’ve been assuming that there actually isn’t a tape; that the photo was just some innocent early morning selfie they took.

Oh; hm. Except I guess that doesn’t exclude the possibility that there still is a tape (just that this photo isn’t actually intended to represent it directly). If I’ve done the math right, the sex tape site’s countdown timer will expire at midnight Pacific time Wednesday night/Thursday morning (Valentine’s Day). So maybe we’ll find out tomorrow (from Lydia’s yelling) that yeah, there is a tape, such that we can expect that that’s what Wickham intends to release at midnight Thursday. Or maybe we’ll learn that there isn’t a tape, but in that case, doesn’t the whole countdown timer become kind of anti-climactic? I mean, if there isn’t a tape to be released, then the ticking clock isn’t actually much of a threat.

Or maybe they’ll leave the tape’s existence/nonexistence ambiguous for now. But if it eventually turns out that there never was a tape, and all this has just been an elaborate hoax by Wickham to mess with peoples’ heads or extort some kind of compensation, that would feel kind of disappointing to me. I mean, if there was never a tape, then there was never really much of a threat, beyond Wickham being a douchebag and causing a lot of short-term anxiety for a few people. All Lydia would have to have done in that case would be to have gotten over her denial and anger and whatever other stages she’s going to go through and just announce to everyone, “okay; I accept that George is a jerk. But there isn’t any tape, so everyone just relax.”

Oh. But maybe Lydia herself doesn’t know if there’s a tape. Maybe she and Wickham had sex, and she wasn’t aware of any taping going on, but doesn’t know that he didn’t maybe tape her without her knowledge. And I guess, if we’re going to map out the complete sleazeball space, he could have taped her showering or changing or something without there even being any sex involved. Which I realize would put him in additional legal jeopardy were he to release the tape under those circumstances. But he hasn’t exactly demonstrated good judgment so far, so maybe Lydia would still consider it a possibility that he’d do that?

Pause just to say: Ew. I hope this all ends up playing out in a way that feels satisfying, and I’m willing to suspend judgement until I see where it goes. But this feeling I’m having now is what always made me dismiss the “sex tape” scenario back in the day: It’s just so, so icky, and unpleasant, and feels inconsistent with the tone of the rest of the show. Which I guess is part of the point, but still. Ew.

Sigh. The people who specialize in taking these aspects of the show apart are mostly people I’ve stopped reading in the interest of not making myself unhappy. So I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Maybe it will be something like this:

  • Monday: Lydia yells at Wickham. Jane comforts Lizzie. Tension is at its peak.
  • Tuesday: The Domino-mediated procedural continues to play out. Gigi and/or Fitz and/or Darcy close in on Wickham.
  • Thursday: Hooray! We’re saved! The sex tape goes away due to secret Darcy fixing. (Though it isn’t clear to Lizzie yet how that came about.)
  • Friday: Domino denouement. We learn (maybe?) what happened with team DaFiGi. Or we see unexplained back patting and high fives, but don’t get the details until later.
  • The following week and thereafter: Lydia (I assume) spills the beans to Lizzie about Darcy’s involvement. Commence Operation Puppies and Rainbows: Jing, Dizzie, and group hugs through to the end of the show.

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Tags: lizzie bennet diaries.

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