Possibly My Favorite Onion Video Ever

NASA Scientists Plan To Approach Girl By 2018 

18 Responses to “Possibly My Favorite Onion Video Ever”

  1. enkidu Says:

    This is why I am a strong proponent of unmanned exploration. There is no way phase II is going to fly. At least we still have the Hubble. When does the James Webb Space Telescope come on line?

  2. shcb Says:

    I know they are professional actors and all but there is no way I could say masturbate in a setting like that without cracking a smile.

  3. NorthernLite Says:

    Let alone “furiously masturbate” lol

  4. shcb Says:

    see… I smiled just reading that to myself

  5. Smith Says:

    Sounds painful

  6. enkidu Says:


    ok Canadians… what is up with this video pls?

  7. knarlyknight Says:

    yeah, I saw that too! If therer’s an old-timers hockey game I want him on my team.

  8. shcb Says:

    that’s great! not to get to snarky but weren’t you all upset with Cheney when he did something similar? only he wasn’t behind the podium

  9. knarlyknight Says:

    The difference is that if Cheney wanted to be on my old timer’s hockey team I’d defect to the other side.

  10. shcb Says:

    Shoot, I’d pick both the old geezers, they have spunk. I know we don’t want it to be commonplace but I think it refreshing when they tell one another to stuff it every now and then, it is probably the closest we get to the truth from politicians (at any level). I have no idea why any of you would want to have to read more of my drivel than you have to read here, but if your pain quotient hasn’t been filled see what I’m doing with my HOA. Tomorrow night will possibly be the big fight, the two weak members of the 5 person board have already said they will not be there.


  11. knarlyknight Says:

    Seriously though, both men were totally out of line.

    I would hold Cheney to a higher standard because he was vice president (emphasis on “vice”) for Christ’s sake, whereas this Canadian bozo wasn’t even in federal politics. His seat in the New Brunswick provincial legislature holds less importance for most Canadians than the school district sub-committe directing the driver of an antiquated local book mobile (which, incidentally, is probably where this guy belongs.)

  12. shcb Says:

    Oh I know, that was just a little vent, like when you say “what I should have said was… ” but would never actually say it. I would love it if these guys would tell each other off every now and then but once it was acceptable in the least they would abuse it at every oportunity if they thought it would get them noticed. Sure would be fun though.

    We should put down plastic one day a year and give them all paint ball guns with 5 balls each, the guy covered gets impeached. We could make it pay for view and I’ll guarentee Super Bowl like ratings.

  13. knarlyknight Says:

    Great idea. Paintball guns are highly underutilized.

    They should be allowed in traffic, cops could pull over the “losers” and confiscate their cell phone, give them a breathalizer or an impromptu roadside drivers test.

    Also, anonymous thwacks in the back of the head with red paint would do wonders to quiet obnoxious goofs just about anywhere.

  14. shcb Says:

    I have to admit I stole that bit from Gallagher, in his day it was rubber tipped darts but technology marches on.

    On the flip side of jerks, I was in the grocery store on Christmas Eve, all the check outs were manned with a clerk and at least one bagger, sometimes two. They were doing all they could but the lines were still 9 and 10 people deep. There were one or two people that were a little gruff but most of us realized we could have went to the store the day before. In the middle of the crowd one guy cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted “let’s give these King Soopers employees a big hand for putting up with us on Christmas eve” the place erupted in applause and you know what, everyone got in a little better mood.

  15. knarlyknight Says:

    Sorry to be a cynic but your King Sooper shouter was probably the father or friend of one of the cashiers. Still a nice thing to do though.

    Yes you’re right the idea was either Gallagher or George Carlin – one of them suggested little dart guns with arrows that had a suction cup on one end and a flag at the feather end that would indicate “Stupid Driver”. Motorists could shoot the darts at each other, and it would be a criminal offence to remove them. That would serve two purposes: (a) other drivers would be alerted to a stupid driver by the accumulated flags trailing from the vehicle & (b) traffic policing would be easier as the cops wouldn’t have to catch people speeding or what have you anymore, they could just be given the authority to fine people for having too many stupid flags on their vehicle. I love that idea.

  16. shcb Says:


    I’m going to be in Atlanta on the 7th so I bought a ticket to the race, as long as my machine works I’ll see my first NASCAR race, if it doesn’t I’m out $50, there’s some motivation for me. I’ll give you a report when I get back.

  17. NorthernLite Says:

    Awesome, that should be a good time! What kind of track does Atlanta have?

    enk, that video was too much!! I never even heard that happened.

    Is that guy Don Cherry’s brother?

  18. shcb Says:

    Mile and a half oval, it is one of the fastest tracks on the circuit, multiple grooves. The racing there is usually good but the track is so perfect that there can be long boring green flag runs. But as you know from baseball, if you want to watch the race (game) stay at home next to your TV, but if you want to be part of the game you gotta go smell the hot dogs.

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