Abstinance Makes People Dorks (aparently)
My buddy Mark put it best when he sent me this link…
Is this the best the Christian abstinance brigade can do?
“100 things do to with your boyfriend or girlfriend instead of it”
I mean, do they read this? Seriously? Do they have teenagers? Have they
ever been a teenager? And what’s with the circa 1950’s ‘it’… come on, even
Jerry Falwell can say “sex” with a straight face.
December 17th, 2003 at 3:35 pm
My favorites are:
11. Play Twister. (They neglect to say whether you should keep your clothes on, or whether baby oil should be involved.)
31. Eat something you have never tried before. (Comment unnecessary.)
December 17th, 2003 at 3:54 pm
60. Look at the stars (and share your ideas about life on other planets!).
Isn’t that sort of heretical? Life other than on Earth? Burn the witches!
December 17th, 2003 at 4:32 pm
As one of my friends put it…
69. Invent a new game.
#69 is not a new game, but I can see how someone might think it is.
December 17th, 2003 at 6:08 pm
Many of these options I would consider foreplay – leading directly to sex.
Twister? Point proven
December 17th, 2003 at 11:31 pm
My wife can think of at least 300 things better than sex. Luckily, I’ve discovered younger hornier women that are easily influenced by alcohol.
December 18th, 2003 at 12:24 am
As campy as that site is, I’d expect more people here to support the idea of abstinence. I do, though I’m only 22, quite liberal, and don’t follow it myself.
December 18th, 2003 at 9:12 am
I have nothing against the concept of abstinence – nor people who practice it.
I do however think that marketting like this is going to hurt the “abstinence movement” a lot more then it helps it … no girl on the planet who is sitting on the fence about “doing it” with some guy she likes is going to be swayed towards staying pure and innocent by reading this list. It’s just going to make her think that people who don’t have sex must be the biggest dorks on the planet.
December 18th, 2003 at 11:23 am
In response to that last comment, if the girl is sitting on a fence, then it’s already too late. Especially a big picket fence.
December 18th, 2003 at 12:57 pm
I think it’s a cute article, but that bit about twister and stuff was a bit much.
December 22nd, 2003 at 10:29 am
Ohhh and may I add number 101 and 102?
101. Invent Cold Fusion with some friends on a rainy day.
102. Get some fast running shoes to dodge rocks better when kids throw them at you screaming “DORK!! ”
Play in a corn field? WTF…I have never even seen a damn corn field.
December 22nd, 2003 at 2:18 pm
Patrick: Come to Wisconsin. We have lots of corn fields here. Although I wouldn’t personally play in one – the husks give me a rash. (Now that I think about it, maybe that’s an abstinence tactic right there.)
December 22nd, 2003 at 3:07 pm
Yeah I live in Southern California in “Orange” County…which should be re-named house county. But, we use to play in Orange groves as kids and the people who owned them would actually shoot shotguns in the air. Needless to say, a great deterrent to playing in orange groves and we didn’t any more.
However, I have to ask myself to the corn growers like the idea of people playing in their fields? Do the fun loving farmers just shake their heads and grin and “Ohhh those rascals there they go again crushing my crops.” Or, are they so glad that these children are stomping on their crops rather than touching any dirty parts of the body?
=P
December 23rd, 2003 at 9:11 am
Adam — Wisconsin here as well. Wherein are you, neighbor?
December 30th, 2003 at 9:50 pm
this is the stupidest shyt i’ve ever heard, im a teen and all that crap is stupid and lame. I done that stuff a billion times sex is the way to go
December 30th, 2003 at 9:50 pm
this is the stupidest shyt i’ve ever heard, im a teen and all that crap is stupid and lame. I done that stuff a billion times sex is the way to go
April 30th, 2004 at 10:41 am
I PERSONALLY THINK ABSTINENCE IS A GREAT IDEA! IM STILL A VIRGIN AND IM 17 YEARS OLD, AND I DONT CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A DORK! I HAVE FUN AND KNOW HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE SEX!I LOVE MY LIFE AS IT IS AND I WOULDNT TRADE FOR THE WORLD! I HAVE A SPECIAL GIFT OF PURITY TO GIVE TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND! NOW AS FOR THE REST OF U WHO WROTE THOSE RUDE COMMENTS I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU B/C U’LL NEVER GET A CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE THAT PURE INTIMACY WITH YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND/WIFE!
May 7th, 2004 at 3:49 pm
I agree with laci! I’m 21 and still a virgin and proud of it. I have a boyfriend of almost 2 yrs. we are getting married and decided not to have sex until then. It’s not easy because of my own wants and the culture we live in. But let me tell you all it’s one of the best gifts to give the one you marry. I also have christ and family/friends to help me. Being a virgin does mean you are a dork. It means you are a wise person. One of my friends I knew since high school is a virgin and is beautiful inside and out. (She looks like janet jackson). Futhermore, people who knew of my virginity especially the guys respected me. And if you have already had sex, stop and wait till you get married. Waiting to have sex until marriage,will allow for a better sex life. You may not get it right the first couple of times, but you have “until death do us part” to get it right!
May 7th, 2004 at 3:52 pm
being a virgin does not mean you’re a dork! (sorry)
May 14th, 2004 at 4:21 pm
I have to agree with the list being stupid, but making fun of it is not going to support abstinance. I agree with the last few comments about marriage. I can have sex whenever, but never again can you become a virgin – it’s a one way trip. I am 20 and a virgin, and will savor my marriage.
September 3rd, 2004 at 6:44 pm
I’m 18 and will stay a virgin until my wedding night. That is my gift to my husband and no other man but him.
August 8th, 2005 at 12:16 am
I have many friends from all walks of life. And I promise you, the ones who understand and practice abstinence are the happiest. It’s the ones who don’t who suffer, male and female.
I’ve been with my boyfriend a total of four years now, over a 5-year time period, and we are both virgins. It’s not easy, but with things of value comes hard work.
I”m not going to tell you the many reasons why abstinence is good, You can figure it out if you ask God. But KNOW THIS: God’s optino are good for you and everyone around you. He never says “no” without having a MUCH, MUCH better “Yes” for you. And so, our (God, Me and my boyfriend) “No” to sex now it a MUCH better “YES” later. YOu can’t even imagine.
February 24th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Personally, I think that if someone feels abstinence is ‘the holy grail’ or whatever they’ve never had sex, are scared of it, or whatever.
Every person that has had good sex (not some imcompetant bastard who bottems out every 3rd thrust assuming they make it to the 3rd) would never go back nor desire to be a virgin or hold to the ‘value’ of abstinence.
Personally I think I’d higher a whore (in retrospect) if I hadn’t had sex by the time I turned 21.