The New Onion Is Here! The New Onion Is Here!
I’m not sure why; maybe it’s an indication that my midlife crisis is entering the acute stage. But the front page of the new Onion is really cracking me up this morning.
Like this story: 45 more legislators lose jobs to increased congressional automation:
WASHINGTON, DC — Continuing a trend that began in the Senate last November, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX) announced Monday that 45 members of the House of Representatives would be laid off and replaced by cost-efficient heavy legislating machinery.
Or this one: Saddam proud he still killed more Iraqi civilians than US:
“I recently heard a critic of President Bush say he is a dictator,” Saddam said. “That made me laugh. George Bush, a dictator! My sons Uday and Qusay showed more viciousness at 10 years of age.”
“Bush has a long way to go before he can match me,” Saddam added. “My hands are red with the blood of the innocent. His are merely a light pink.”
There’s lot’s more great stuff there. But I think my favorite story is this one, from the News in Brief section: “Fisherman’s 4-year-old son liberates bait.”
INTERNATIONAL FALLS, MN — During a fishing trip Monday, Jason Jorgensen, the 4-year-old son of International Falls fisherman Bill Jorgensen, liberated an entire styrofoam container of nightcrawlers, throwing the bait into Rainy Lake. “Run, wormies, run!” said Jorgensen as he gave the former bait its first-ever taste of sweet freedom.
RTFL!! RTFLMAO!!!
Oh, and on that note. Beck, who clued me into the existence of the new Onion, also shared with me the other day the punchline from his favorite-ever quote in bash.org’s QDB: <GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Okay. I think I’m done now. Back to work.
