In another cool example of Your Tax Dollars At Work, the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps have apparently contracted with a film production company to create a four-minute movie on Operation Enduring Freedom, with the film being shown in movie-houses nationwide before the regular feature. One mom reportedly complained about her kids seeing war footage before the G-rated Veggie-Tales movie, but she just sounds like a whiner. Can’t start kids too early on learning to reflexively fall into line whenever the government decides it wants to kill people overseas, is my attitude.

Judge Elden Fox has ordered Winona Ryder to appear in court today, after an unspecified “unusual circumstance” prevented the actress from showing up yesterday, thereby delaying her trial yet again. Among the things we can look forward to today are the official dismissal of the drug-possession charges, and the replacement of the stock photos from her last appearance with a new round of pics. What will she be wearing?? Update: A really stunning ivory dress/jacket combo, with matching handbag, it turns out. Drug charges dropped, trial to start Oct. 24.

Thumbing his nose at didn’t-even-get-the-MOST-votes dubya, Iraq’s Saddam Hussein is trumpeting the results of Iraq’s latest presidential referendum, in which the dictator received an impressive 100% of votes cast by eligible voters, confirming his tenure for another 7-year term. Why can’t we have a leader who enjoys that kind of support?

I guess I need to get my head in the trough on this one, even though it’s done and over and has been slashdotted and everything. But it’s a big lie, and deserves some coverage in the liars’ journal of record. So, head on over to Daring Fireball, and read John Gruber’s take on Microsoft’s strange decision to run a made-up version of the Apple Switch ads.

A day after squeaking back into official membership at the International Whaling Commission, Iceland has announced that it will resume whaling. Fisheries Minister Arni Mathiesen was quoted as saying, “We will only whale in accordance with solid scientific information, and to ensure sustainable development in the oceans surrounding us,” which I was going to doctor up into something more ludicrous-sounding, until I realized his original statement was already there.

From Reuters comes news that the U.S. Army has discovered a new use for duct tape: wart removal. See? Who says military spending doesn’t spin off significant civilian benefits.

So, if you hook up with some attractive sheila you met on the net, and decide you want to marry her, you might want to hold off on giving her that $12,000 engagement ring, at least until you know her a little better. Because your insurance company may disagree with your view that her subsequent change of heart amounts to a covered loss due to fraud.

I’ve driven a stake through the heart of slash, and resurrected the site as a Movable Type-based blog. I love MT. Everyone should be forced to run out and grab a copy right now. You’ll note that I’ve retained the slash-era stories (though not their comments). If you were an author on the old site (you know who you are) I’ve recreated your author status under MT, but you’ll need to contact me for your initial login credentials. Anyway, please start hammering on the site, and let me know about any problems you encounter, or any suggestions you have for improving it. Thanks.

from the yeah,-he-really-said-it dept.

The good folks over at Guardian Unlimited are running a poem compiled from actual dubya quotations. Fun stuff. Thanks to Janus, as usual, for making my day less crushingly depressing than it otherwise would have been. Well, differently crushingly depressing.

from the lying-is-one-thing;-looking-like-an-idiot-is-another dept.

For those of you fortunate enough not to have been following the California governor’s race, we’re heading into the home stretch of a contest between Democrat incumbent Gray Davis and his Republican challenger, a political tyro named Bill Simon. Simon is making headlines in the wake of Monday’s debate between the two candidates, but not the kind he was looking for. In the debate, Simon accused Davis of having accepted campaign contributions in his state capitol offices while he was Lt. Governor, which would have been a crime. Davis denied the charge. Afterward, Simon showed reporters a photograph that he said showed Davis accepting a contribution check in his offices — except that reporters know what those offices look like, and the photo clearly wasn’t taken there. Oops. Now Simon is backpedaling, and refusing interviews, and Davis has called for him to resign from the race. Ouch.

from the all-winona,-all-the-time dept.

Winona Ryder got some good news yesterday, when prosecutors in her shoplifting-cum-painkiller-possession trial requested that drug-possession charges be dropped. Seems a witness supplied an affidavit that showed Winona actually had a prescription, or thought it was okay for her to possess the drugs, or something. So, does this mean the prosecutors were basically blowing smoke before? Methinks the whole “railroading” theory gets a boost from this. But I’m fairly biased, since I think she’s cute. Of course, this is nothing like the bias I’d display if they ever tried to charge Janie Porche with something. Sigh. Janie…

from the making-the-unreal-real dept.

From Janus (as usual) comes a link that gives a nice perspective on the nature of truth: the realization of M.C. Escher’s Ascending and Descending in LEGO blocks. Cool.

from the deep-breath-before-the-plunge dept.

Janus sent this nice URL my way: tompaine.com’s compendium of op-ed pieces pointing out the potential downside of the latest rush to war.

from the cruel-and-unusual dept.

Janus pointed out this story at workingforchange.com: Death row unplugged. Can’t have those condemned criminals speaking to the outside world, now can we? We might get infected, or something.

from the ch-ch-ch-ch-changes dept.

For various reasons, I’m giving serious thought to converting lies.com to run solely as a wiki, rather than a slash site. Feel free to weigh in with your opinions, either by replying to this story or by editing the wiki page linked to above.

from the goofball-images-legacy dept.

From Reuters, via Yahoo, comes the latest in a continuing series of photographs showing the U.S. President at his finest.

from the thank-god-for-the-onion dept.

Janus took time out from his busy day to proclaim this the best Onion article ever: Bush Seeks U.N. Support for ‘U.S. Does Whatever It Wants’ Plan. While I think I still prefer the God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule piece in their classic 9/11 issue, this latest one certainly ranks right up there.