Archive for July, 2002

Baywatch Star Wears Lettuce to Protest Animal Cruelty

Thursday, July 18th, 2002

from the better-publicity-through-silicone dept.

Ex-Baywatch actress Tracy Bingham is putting her augmentation on the line to help animals and promote vegetarianism. Specifically, she wore a bikini made of lettuce at a Paris protest yesterday, then attempted to enter a restaurant to inquire about their vegetarian dining options, only to be turned away at the door for her “inappropriate attire.”

Game Maker To Advertise On Tombstones

Thursday, July 18th, 2002

from the ashes-to-ashes,-dust-to…-wait!-NOW-how-much-would-you-pay? dept.

From Guardian Unlimited comes this troubling sign that we are entering the end times: console game company Acclaim Entertainment is seeking to place advertising on tombstones for its new ShadowMan 2 game.

Kinda like Bushisms, only not…

Thursday, July 18th, 2002

from the onomatopoeia dept.

Yahoo Admits Changing E-Mail Text to Block Hackers

“Evaluate,” then, becomes, “reviewuate.” Simple!

Russians embrace Nazism

Tuesday, July 16th, 2002

from the red.menace dept.

Forgetting the fun that gramps had in the Great Patriotic War, racism with Nazi trappings is on the rise in Russia. Panzers vorwarts!

Anti-terror strategy

Tuesday, July 16th, 2002

from the the-empire-strikes-back dept.

President Bush on Tuesday proposed a strategy to protect America from terrorism that includes using the U.S. military to enforce quarantines during a biological attack and “red teams” of agents thinking like terrorists to pinpoint weaknesses.

“Protecting Americans from attack is our most urgent national priority and we must act on the priority,” Bush said.

Muppets with AIDS

Tuesday, July 16th, 2002

from the innocence-completely-lost dept.

“This character will be fully a part of the community,” Schneider said. “She will have high self-esteem. Women are often stigmatized about HIV and we are providing a good role model as to how to deal with one’s situation and how to interact with the community.”

Name and color have not yet been decided.

Michael Jackson Really Hates Porn

Friday, July 12th, 2002

from the I-refuse-to-call-him-the-king-of-pop dept.

In our continuing effort to pin down the priorities of Michael Jackson, we have learned he hates porn more than he cares for 9-11 victims. Michael — he’s always looking out for the children.

Cow Dung is the New Snake Oil

Friday, July 12th, 2002

from the selling-actual-bullshit dept.

Apparently cattle excrement can cure cancer, tuberculosis, and AIDS according to some guys in Calcutta selling it in bottles. I guess if you have an illness that serious, you’re too weak to gather your own.

Reaction to Dubya’s Business-Ethics Speech

Thursday, July 11th, 2002

from the what-is-the-sound-of-one-hand-clapping? dept.

The Independent has one of the more scathing summaries of the lukewarm response to dubya’s let’s-get-tough-on-CEOs speech, as part of a story about Cheney’s being sued over his own Halliburton shenanigans. Methinks the chickens may well be coming home to roost on this one come the midterms.

Sex With Plush Toys

Thursday, July 11th, 2002

from the different-strokes dept.

a_stupid_box writes “I consider myself a rather learned man. Though I happen to be interested in very few sexual perversions (and yes, technically, oral sex is a “perversion”), I know the technical terms for and am aware of everything from sex involving machines to sex involving furniture. So why is it that sex involving plush animals surprised me? I don’t know, maybe I’m going soft…” Clearly there’s something wrong with the American education system, if it’s turning out people who describe themselves as “rather learned” but who have never experienced

The Topless Carwash

Thursday, July 11th, 2002

from the famous-potatos dept.

Some college girls short of rent money in Moscow, Idaho have taken to washing cars sans shirts. Business is booming, but civic leaders are frantically trying to figure out how to outlaw the practice without writing a law that discriminates against women. Good luck.

The Gaping Maw’s Big Book of Sign Language

Wednesday, July 10th, 2002

from the you,-too,-can-talk-with-the-deaf dept.

From the Gaping Maw, likewise via Janus, comes this handy how-to for communicating via sign language. Useful!

Passenger Removed for Pilot-Sobriety Joke

Wednesday, July 10th, 2002

from the don’t-mess-with-the-airlines dept.

Janus brought this one to my attention: A story about a woman passenger who was removed from an America West flight after she jokingly questioned whether the pilots had been checked for drunkenness. “We take any comment regarding safety seriously,” explained America West spokesperson Patty Nowack. “Also, as I think everyone is well aware by now, our air crews, just like those of other airlines, are pretty much ready to snap at any moment. Humor has no place in that environment.”

The Anna Nicole Show

Wednesday, July 10th, 2002

from the plus-size-entertainment dept.

Uber-widow Anna Nicole Smith is coming to the small screen in August, when E! will begin airing an Osbournes-esque reality show that follows the misadventures of Ms. Smith, her poodle, and various hangers-on.

Dubya: Business Accounting Rules Not Always Black and White

Tuesday, July 9th, 2002

from the moral-clarity dept.

Speaking to reporters yesterday, dubya evoked memories of his predecessor in office with evasive responses regarding his history of shady business dealings. At one point reporters actually laughed out loud when Bush said, “In the corporate world, sometimes things

aren’t exactly black and white when it comes to accounting procedures.” The leader of the free world reportedly responded with an icy glare. Sweet. More on the story, as part of the run-up to dubya’s big Wall Street speech today: Robert A. George, Robert Scheer (L.A. Times cypherpunk/cypherpunk login required), and a really funny whistling-past-the-graveyard editorial from the National Review’s Larry Kudlow.

Accused Child Molester Crucified on Cactus

Saturday, July 6th, 2002

from the don’t-mess-with-Mexico dept.

From the Arizona Republic comes the story of Mark Adam Younglove, who apparently took his last name a little too seriously and engaged in sexual abuse of some neighbor kids in Chandler, AZ. Confronted by the kids’ parents, Younglove took off three years ago, and was eventually indicted in absentia and listed on various most-wanted posters. Now his bad karma seems to have caught up with him; on June 23 he was found beaten comatose and impaled on a cactus in Empalme, Mexico. Ay, caramba!

‘Water Closet’ Game Reviewed

Saturday, July 6th, 2002

from the be-afraid.-be-very-afraid. dept.

Here at I like nothing better than probing the wacky side of various nations’ national character; in the past I’ve pointed out Brits being eminently British, and Americans being quintessentially American. Now it’s the turn of our good friends in Japan, who apparently lead the world in obsession with bodily functions, as evidenced by this SomethingAwful review (pointed out to me by Raja) of a computer game called Water Closet.

Bing Drops ‘Invasion of Privacy’ Suit Against Kerkorian

Saturday, July 6th, 2002

from the what-a-putz dept.

You may recall Steve Bing, the Hollywood producer who went to court to show he wasn’t the biological father of Elizabeth Hurley’s baby. (Turns out he actually was the baby’s dad, unfortunately for said baby.) Well, his name crossed my radar again, this time in connection with his dropping of a lawsuit he’d brought against MGM studio mogul Kirk Kerkorian, who Bing accused of invading his privacy by digging through his trash to find a sample of dental floss, with the accompanying biological material to have been used to establish that Bing, not Kerkorian, was the biological father of the 4-year-old daughter of Kerkorian’s ex-wife. Do I detect a pattern here? Sheesh; what a wanker.

Man Spears Self In Head, Survives

Thursday, July 4th, 2002

from the oops dept.

Hiro sent me this one, from CNN, about an unnamed 20-year-old Greek man who apparently speared himself in the head while diving off Crete, then floated in the water for several hours before being discovered. Doctors removed the spear, which had passed through an “unused” area of his brain, during a three-hour operation; the man is apparently doing fine.

Goat Born With Dale Earnhardt’s Number

Thursday, July 4th, 2002

from the endtimes-are-upon-us dept.

jonw writes “The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports that: A 4-month-old goat with a curious birthmark has fans of the late NASCAR star Dale Earnhardt flocking to a north Florida farm. The brown Nubian goat, named Lil’ Dale, was born with a distinctive white three — Earnhardt’s number — on her right side. "It’s weird," owner Jerry Pierson said. "I’ve seen people take pictures and get tears in their eyes."”