April 28, 2004

Found: Some really entertaining stuff

I don't remember what show I was watching yesterday, but I caught the tail end of an interview with Davy Rothbart, the founder and editor of FOUND magazine. I'd never heard of the magazine until then, but it sounds pretty cool. You see a few years ago, Davy found a strange note on his car (it was a case of mistaken identity) that spawned a fascination with "found items", the random snippets of paper, photos, and other objects that litter the streets everywhere we go, telling a tale about society and the people in it. He turned his hobby into a magazine, and from there it's spawned a new Book and a 50 state tour in which he's driving all over the country, hosting parties to show of cool stuff, and encouraging people to bring in their own finds.

If nothing else, spend a few minutes checking out the website ... they showcase some pretty kooky stuff.

Posted by hossman at 12:10 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 25, 2004

McSweeney's Does the Neocon Open Letter and the Saddam Interrogation

A couple of fun items from McSweeney's: An open letter to William Kristol, Richard Perle, and President Bush's other neoconservative puppetmasters. And Saddam's interrogation logs.

Posted by jbc at 07:10 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

April 17, 2004

Teen Values TV Over Mom

Here's a feel-good story to break my recent trend of posting about quagmires and war crimes. From CNN: Kill mom but don't hurt TV, teen tells hitman.

Posted by jbc at 08:05 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

April 15, 2004

Poop For Peace Day: April 16, 2004

I can't say it any better then they do....
On April 16, take some time to think when you take your time to stink. Think of yourself on your toilet, and George W. Bush on his, and Saddam and Osama on theirs. Think about the children of Iraq and the children of America, and realize that while their skins are different colors and their gods have different names, their daily ritual is exactly the same. We all poop, which means we're all human, which means we're all brothers and sisters. Any other differences are arbitrary -- we are all united in the daily struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.

Posted by hossman at 06:10 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 01, 2004

*Fuck* April Fools

We interrupt today's Web-wide spate of mock/faux/ridiculous "news" items to bring you this important announcement: *Fuck* April Fools.

Even under the best of circumstances, April Fools pranks are pretty darn stupid. But in the context of the Web, where foisting bogus content as if it were real is trivially easy, there's even less of a point to it. Those who post information on the Web should, in my view, be doing whatever they can to lend the medium credibility, rather than doing the opposite, as so many seem compelled to do every year at this time.

As a longtime user of the Web, who has been honing his bullshit detector since the early 1990s in order to successfully navigate its labyrinthine spaces, I find the typical April 1 Web jokes to be not just pointless and unfunny, but actually outright annoying. They're user-hostile, in the same way that frames and most navigational javascript and the <blink> tag are.

Give it a rest.

Posted by jbc at 04:55 PM | view/comment (5) | TrackBack (0)

March 31, 2004

Prankster Engineers Restaurant Strip Searches

In these dangerous times, it's comforting to know that so many people have taken to heart our government's admonitions to cooperate with law enforcement authorities whenever possible. People like Allan Mathis, former manager of a South Dakota fast food restaurant, who, at the request of a police officer who phoned him up one day, held a 19-year-old female employee in a back office against her willl for three hours, forcing her to remove her clothes and have her body cavities searched. Well, except that it wasn't actually a police officer who phoned him; it was some random prankster who apparently has been phoning up restaurants from Arizona to Massachussetts, successfully getting managers to search female employees and patrons: Bizarre hoax leads to strip searches.

Posted by jbc at 01:18 PM | view/comment (5) | TrackBack (0)

March 21, 2004

Al Franken Profiled

From tomorrow's (oops; today's) New York Times Magazine: Al Franken, seriously.

Posted by jbc at 12:55 AM | view/comment (3) | TrackBack (0)

March 20, 2004

Dear Mr. President Letters: Parts 5 and 6

The good people at the Dear Mr. President Letters Project have done some updates lately. I confess I'd totally forgotten about it, but then a wave of nostalgia had me re-reading my lies.com posts from March of last year, and I came across my second posting about the project, which referenced my original item about it. Anyway, there's some good stuff in the latest batch; see Part 5 and Part 6.

My favorite is from Part 5:

Dear Mr. President,

You can be walking down the street and suddenly bump your head into someone else's thought. Sex thoughts are the biggest. They come in the shape of toast, or falling leaves.

I used to skip along on a beautiful song called dirt. Once some big boys beat me up and kicked the song in my face.

Our tree house was the closest point to the moon.

Eric Morgan

Posted by jbc at 01:55 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 19, 2004

Dennis Miller: Um, Why, Exactly?

Dennis Miller is my neighbor, loosely speaking. A mom whose kid went to the same preschool my son went to has an older kid in the school Dennis Miller's kid attends. She tells the story of how Miller screamed profanities at her in front of the children in the parking lot at pickup time one day, clearly stressed out, presumably not just by her having made some driving decision too slowly in the presence of unpredictable four-foot pedestrians.

Another time, my daughter performed in a Bach festival at which Dennis Miller's kid also performed. I didn't realize Miller was there, but after the event, as we were driving away from the church where it took place, I needed to hit the brakes to avoid the mammoth black SUV that whipped out of the parking lot into the street in front of me, and then, when I gave an eyebrow-raise to the other driver, was surprised to see Dennis Miller nodding back at me, his look seeming to say that yes, I really had had a close encounter with a real-life celebrity, and didn't I feel special?

There may be other points at which our lives have come close to touching, but those are the only ones I'm aware of.

I've seen him on TV for a number of years, of course. I watched him during his stint as the semi-funny anchorman on SNL's weekend update, during that long dry spell when I watched the show in the vain hope it might one day live up to its past. I caught his broadcast once, I think, on Monday Night Football. And I watched his HBO show several times, though I can't say I was a fan; it was more that I was unable to look away from the car-wreck-in-real-time of his segue into the monologue-ending rant, in which he would trot out his one trick for the knee-jerk applause of that part of his audience that sees the trappings of thought, and assumes (too hastily) that there's something real behind it, hastening to add their stamp of approval so that they, too, might appear thoughtful.

Miller was visibly tired of the schtick then, but apparently it has gotten much, much worse since his political conversion. Witness the following clip, in which Miller "interviews" Eric Alterman on the lies of the Bush administration re: Iraq: Dennis Miller. Notice how he doesn't even bother to parody having actual insights. He just slumps in his chair, makes a few incoherent verbal jabs (calling them "half-hearted" would be dishonest; I don't think they make fractions small enough to measure that amount of heart), and, when the second hand reaches the magic point when he can end the interview, abruptly does so.

So, car-wreck-in-progress aside, is there any reason at all to still watch him? He comes off as profoundly depressed, or over-medicated, or both. I was reminded of nothing so much as Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, in the part of the movie where he has been crushed by the weight of repeating the same hateful routine over and over and over and over, and he finally snaps, breaking character and babbling incoherently into the camera before saying goodbye to Rita and stealing the groundhog.

If he wasn't a neighbor, I'd say screw him. He needs more (or better) therapy, some near-death experience to snap him out of his midlife crisis, maybe. Whatever; it's not my problem. But he is a neighbor, and neighbors look out for each other.

Get help, Dennis. Before it's too late.

Posted by jbc at 09:16 AM | view/comment (3) | TrackBack (0)

March 13, 2004

ymatt's Wyld Ryde

Sometimes I think ymatt has too much time on his hands. But I also think Edward Tufte should use this image as an example in his next book. (Update: Tufte apparently disagrees. I asked him what he thought of the diagram in his question forum, and the question was promptly deleted. Oh well; his loss.)

Anyway, click for a larger version:


Posted by jbc at 12:43 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

March 05, 2004

Calvin and Hobbes, Searchable

If you haven't seen this, you should: Cavin and Hobbes: Stripsearch.

Posted by jbc at 02:34 PM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

February 19, 2004

Purty Pictures of Networks

Just some random net.kookery to liven up your morning: Gallery of network images. I especially like how the "teen dating" image shows one blue dot who dated both a pink dot and a blue dot. Yay diversity!

Posted by jbc at 08:23 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 18, 2004

The Onion's Ongoing Satire-Related Program Activities

I really, really love The Onion. No, really.

The latest shining beacons of sanity, brought to my attention by ymatt, are these: Fuck everything, we're doing five blades. And in a more tender vein, reminiscent of the great God angrily clarifies 'don't kill' rule: Osama bin Laden found inside each of us.

Posted by jbc at 10:23 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 15, 2004

Anybody want to CUDDLE with me?

This link care of my buddy Wess, who's always curious about what laws he's breaking: C.U.D.D.L.E -- Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws through Education.

Posted by hossman at 12:03 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

January 27, 2004

GYWO Does the SOTU

Get Your War On offers its response to the State of the Union address: Page thirty-one. Heh.

Posted by jbc at 06:30 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (1)

January 23, 2004

Rejection of Conspiracy Theories Considered Harmful

Here's a fun item from The Spectator's John Laughland: I believe in conspiracies.

Posted by jbc at 11:53 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

January 17, 2004

Same Story, Different (Virtual) Reality

Last net.kooks entry for now, I promise. From The Independent, here's a story that I've read at least ten times since I first began using bulletin boards back in the day: Blood on the virtual carpet: tempers flare as 'editor' is thrown out of online town with 80,000 inhabitants.

Okay; maybe I haven't read that exact story ten times, but pretty close: Human participants find way to inject their individual personality into a collaborative online experience in ways that the architects of the system didn't anticipate. Hilarity ensues.

Still, it's interesting, at least if you're wired the way I am.

Posted by jbc at 08:24 PM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

Attack of the Fifty-Foot Roosters

Item 2 of 3 in my net.kooks extravaganza: An illustration of spam.... From Tom Coates of plasticbag.org.

Posted by jbc at 08:16 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Website Mixmaster

Perl goddess Mina Naguib has this really well-done tool for mixing the content of one web site with the layout of another: website mixmaster. Browse the pre-packaged links at the bottom of the form if you can't think of anything to run through it yourself, and don't shy away from the naughty ones: they're fun!

Posted by jbc at 08:10 PM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

January 16, 2004

Rebecca Lawton Paddles the Sea of Cortez

Just a random thing I came across while googling for stuff to help me better differentiate between an American Oystercatcher and an American Oystercatcher x Black Oystercatcher hybrid: Rebecca Lawton's Life list: My log from the Sea of Cortez.

A little reminder of what the Web used to be, and still is, all the pop-ups and pr0n and brochureware notwithstanding.

Posted by jbc at 09:50 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 30, 2003

Dave Barry's Year-End Wrap Up

Much-beloved net.kook Dave Barry rings out the old year in style, with the following item: Between Iraq and a hard place. Thanks to Yian for the link.

Posted by jbc at 10:04 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 29, 2003

Winston Smith's Orson Scott Card Story

I neglected to link to it last week when I first read it, but I think it's interesting, especially if you like (or dislike) Orson Scott Card: The view from parallel Earth.

Interesting, too, the way Winston Smith thinks the post is not worth reading.

Posted by jbc at 10:06 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

November 27, 2003

Do It Yourself Art Forgery

A fun little toy to amuse yourself with on your day off -- assuming you live in a country that likes to eat lots of Turkey today. (requires flash)

Posted by hossman at 02:49 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 25, 2003

Asya Schween Is... Interesting

Funky/interesting self-portraiture by photographer/artist Asya Schween: Social outcast. (More available via Gallery 1 and Gallery 2.)

Posted by jbc at 10:25 AM | view/comment (4) | TrackBack (0)

November 15, 2003

Niven: Can Superman Reproduce?

I first read this about 30 years ago, which is kind of a shocking thing to realize. At the time I believed it to be the funniest thing ever written, and I still think it's pretty good. As with other recent net.kooks items, though, I make no promises. Humor is awfully subjective, and this isn't just juvenile humor, but juvenile humor I liked as an actual juvenile.

Anyway, from Larry Niven: Man of steel, woman of kleenex.

Posted by jbc at 07:40 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 12, 2003

The Secret Diaries of LOTR Characters

I found this by way of my daughter, which is kind of a weird "they get old so fast" experience. But whatever; it's still really funny. If thou hast the Lord of the Rings fanboy/fangirl bug, go thou and readst these with great alacrity: The secret diaries of Cassandra Claire.

Posted by jbc at 02:15 PM | view/comment (14) | TrackBack (0)

Random Book Dedications

From Brandon Rogers, via MsSweeney's Internet Tendency, via Janus, comes this fun little ditty: Random book dedications read from the bargain bin.

From jbc, who has written a book of his very own.

Posted by jbc at 01:01 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 11, 2003

Die, Comment Spammers! Die!

They're not a huge annoyance, really, but they're a constant reminder of how anti-community values have carpetbagged the Net I originally came to love in part for its playing-nice-and-building-on-the-efforts-of-others philosophy. Anyway, I don't like comment spam, but even more, I don't like the people who engage in it. So I did like this, from Reading & Writing: Conversation with a bottom feeder.

Posted by jbc at 09:22 AM | view/comment (4) | TrackBack (0)

November 10, 2003

Philosoraptor: 1, DuToit: 0

A really excellent point-by-point refutation of Kim duToit's "Pussification" rant: The duToitification of the Western Conservative. It's from Winston Smith of Philsoraptor, and in addition to being totally on-target, it's also fairly hilarious. Thanks to Ted at Crooked Timber for the link.

Posted by jbc at 12:32 PM | view/comment (3) | TrackBack (0)

November 08, 2003

Jason Salavon Averages Playboy Playmates

Dave Barry linked to this the other day, but I wasn't paying attention, so I missed it. But then Janus mentioned it in Ishar, and then ymatt mentioned it in Ishar, and I finally got around to checking it out. And it's kind of interesting. From net.kook Jason Salavon: Every Playboy centerfold, the decades. Once you've had your fill of averagerandomporn, check out some of his other stuff: selected projects. Way to obsess, dude.

Posted by jbc at 09:20 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Sgt. Stryker: Real Man

As a wave of adolescent testosterone washes through the weblog world (see the previously mentioned Kim du Toit item, The pussification of the Western male, and Donald Sensing's religious variant, The metrosexual Jesus), I'm heartened to see that even among the manly types who survived basic training, there are some with a more grown-up sense of what it means to be a man. Like Sgt. Stryker: In praise of mediocrity. What he said.

Posted by jbc at 07:58 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

October 25, 2003

Eric Fensler's GI Joe Public Service Announcements

Apparently these have been floating around for a while: Fensler Films' GI Joe shorts. They're a bunch of short animated clips that originally ran as some kind of public service announcement after GI Joe cartoons on TV; Eric Fensler has "remixed" them, mostly by dubbing in new dialog.

Your mileage may well vary with these. When I first saw them, I thought, "Huh; weird." As I watched more of them (eight are available on the linked-to page, and you can find more on the net if you poke around a bit; supposedly he did 25 in all), I started giggling, then flat-out laughing. Shortly thereafter, while walking somewhere with my long-suffering wife, I started chuckling in thinking about the "skier" one, and found myself trying to explain to her what was funny about it. I failed, dismally, but not before I'd ended up laughing hysterically and having to wipe away tears. Between that experience and my recent waterworks at Madame Butterfly, I'm beginning to think there may be something seriously wrong with me.

But go view the videos, and judge for yourself. "Body massage." Heh.

Posted by jbc at 06:01 AM | view/comment (8) | TrackBack (0)

October 14, 2003

True Confessions

If you haven't seen it already, you might be interested in the anonymous confession site grouphug.us. Janus seems to believe my interest in it is based on a desire for an "other-people-are-pathetic ego boost," which may be true, but if so, I can't tell from my end.

Posted by jbc at 02:52 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

October 03, 2003

(Naughty Word) Internet Explorer Merchandise Available

Inspired by the ease of setting up Cafe Press storefronts, and by my favorite piece of virtual clothing in the Ishar mud, I proudly (well, sorta) bring you the *Fuck* Internet Explorer Store. Shop early, shop often.

Posted by jbc at 01:29 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

September 26, 2003

The Strange Case of Brianna Stewart and Treva Throneberry

Courtesy of Hiro's ABC News habit, here's an interesting story about a 34-year-old woman who insists she's both 21 and a completely different person (and was willing to spend two years in prison and go through high school all over again rather than admit the truth about who she was): Search for identity.

Posted by jbc at 08:04 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

September 17, 2003


I know this is going to bug some people. Actually, I think it bugs me, on some level. But I think I have to link to it anyway: Fetopia. Thanks (I think) to Tuesday of This Girl Thinks for bringing it to my attention.

Posted by jbc at 06:14 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Angle-Grinder Man

This is so cool. You may remember the earlier lies.com item on the strange tale of Terrifica vs. Fantastico. Well, there's a new real-world superhero in the news: Angle-Grinder Man, who wears a blue leotard and gold boots while he patrols the streets of Kent and London, removing wheel clamps from the cars of those victimized (er, victimised) by an oppressive government.

Posted by jbc at 04:18 AM | view/comment (4) | TrackBack (0)

September 11, 2003

Fly-Embossed Urinals

I'm going to quote Vincent Vega again: "It's the little differences." Like the way European airports apparently have a thing about embossing make-believe insect "targets" onto the urinals in their airports: The urinals of Amsterdam airport Schiphol.

Don't stop there, though; check out the entire pantheon of world urinals that is urinal.net.

Whoa; this is freaky. I'm in the process of posting this item, having mentioned it in Ishar, the mud where I'm fortunate enough to spend my days hanging out with assorted gods and heroes, and lo and behold, Hiro mentions that actually, that site (urinal.net) is hosted on the machine maintained by none other than Ishar deity Danthar.

Weird. Since I didn't hear about the site from Danthar, but from the (as far as I can tell entirely unrelated) Geekfun links. So. Small world, and all that. At least as long as you're willing to limit the pool of subject matter to things like, um, urinal-obsessed website creators.

Posted by jbc at 12:54 PM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

September 09, 2003

Man Ships Self in Crate

From AP, via Yahoo, via Janus: FBI probes man who shipped self to Dallas.

Posted by jbc at 01:16 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 05, 2003

LA Weekly on Disneyaniacs

Here's a very cool article from the LA Weekly's Adam Davidson: Keepers of the magic kingdom. It's about those people you may have seen from time to time (well, if you're a parent of young children, and sometimes visit a Disney theme park) who are really into that whole Happiest Place on Earth thing. Like, a little too much.

Posted by jbc at 12:26 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 01, 2003

Jwag and the Burger from Hell

Here's another net.kooks entry for your morning. Nausea warning: The photos here are not for the faint of heart. Anyway: Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty Patty XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz XChz. Don't miss the comments after, which split almost perfectly into two parts: "HAHAHAHA! OMFG! You _RULE_!!!!" and "Good lord, you Americans are a bunch of sick, pathetic, bastards." And both reactions are 100% accurate.

Posted by jbc at 10:40 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Wired on the Time-Travel Spammer

I remember getting one of these "help me build my time machine" spams a year or so ago, and passing it around amongst my friends, but I didn't think much more about it. Anyway, if you find such things interesting, here's more detail on it from Wired: Turn back the spam of time.

Posted by jbc at 10:31 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 29, 2003

Wacky Assembly Instruction Illustrations

I've never done one of those "100 Fascinating Things You Didn't Know About Me" pages (probably because my ego couldn't bear the limitations imposed by the medium -- what? only 100 things, you say?), but if I did, one of them would probably be this: I worked for a time in the product development department of a major educational toy company, where I was responsible for writing and editing the user manuals, assembly instructions, and assorted printed whatnot that came along with each item. So I have a soft spot in my heart for such documentation.

Anyway, I really liked this: Hall of technical documentation weirdness. Enjoy.

Posted by jbc at 09:32 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 28, 2003

Why you should buy a camera phone

A few items have ben pointed out to me recently, all under the guise of people trying to convince themselves that they need to buy camera phones (as if convincing me that something is really funny will justify their techno-whore-ness). Anyway, none of these are worth submitting individually, but taken as a set, they say something about our society, and our need to take pictures of silly things: Why my buddy Heath wants a camera phone, Why my buddy Rand wants a camera phone, Why the rest of my nerdy friends want camera phones.

Posted by hossman at 10:34 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 15, 2003

Fakes on Friendster

Interesting SF Weekly article on the identity wars currently ranging at Friendster: Attack of the Smartasses. Thanks to Kottke.org for the link.

Posted by jbc at 08:39 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 12, 2003

NYC Food Fight

Lots of places can lay claim to being the earthly manifestation of Dreams Made Real: L.A., Las Vegas... But the dreams New Yorkers bring forth have their own, special quality. Like this one, from Ftrain.com, via kottke.org: Paul Ford's The condiment war. Be sure to scroll down for the photos.

Posted by jbc at 10:07 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Penis Enlargement Experiment

The wacky flavor of the day: Do penis enlargement pills work? Well, let's just find out, shall we? Favorite quote: "I'm using millimeters for accuracy." Riiiiiight. Actually, I suspect he's using millimeters because "Erect length: 140mm" just sounds a whole hell of a lot more impressive than the English-unit alternative.

Posted by jbc at 09:50 AM | view/comment (5) | TrackBack (0)

August 02, 2003

Jim Gasperini's 3D Penis

Many inventions seem obvious once you've seen them. Like the wheel, or the hang glider, or the Post-It note. But it takes a special kind of someone to see those things before they exist, and bring them forth to obviousness.

Someone like Jim Gasperini, who has hit upon a really neat trick involving using an animated GIF to toggle back and forth between two slightly displaced photographs, providing a convincing (if somewhat jittery) illusion of three dimensions: Time for space. And given the rarity of such men, who can fault Gasperini for choosing to give pride of place on his page to a nude image of his three-dimensional self. Like Da Vinci with his Vitruvian Man, Gasperini makes his Johnson the proud, still, center around which the universe revolves: Siegfried salutes the sun.

Posted by jbc at 07:27 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 19, 2003

Bulwer-Lytton 2003 Results

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest / 2003 Results. Yay!

Posted by jbc at 12:13 PM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

Concerning Trolls

In the wake of my recent mention of trolling, this Kuro5hin article caught my eye: The Adequacy Style Troll (AST): A Brief Refresher

Posted by jbc at 09:46 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 18, 2003

Naughty Folded Paper

From somethingawful.com, via Beck, comes this fun item: Origami Underground. Includes folded-paper versions of various sexual positions, pooping dogs; you name it.

See what you get when my obsession with Nigerian yellowcake starts to fade? Be careful what you wish for.

Posted by jbc at 11:09 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 10, 2003

Mooning Amtrak

From the fine people at the Cruel Site of the Day comes word of this festive link: Mooning Amtrak Trains, Southern California USA. Woo! Yes, that's my part of the world, broadly defined. But I think there's probably a little Laguna Niguel in all of us.

Posted by jbc at 09:55 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)


Christopher of EverythingOnce (formerly of NotMyDesk) has finished describing his experience of taking a spoon-bending class (available in Parts One, Two, and Three), and it's not to be missed.

Posted by jbc at 07:16 AM | view/comment (3) | TrackBack (0)

July 06, 2003

Stick-Figure Two Towers

You won't have noticed, but I've been keeping my obsessed-fanboy side in check for the past several months. Well, I can feel the restraint slipping. We're well and truly entering the ROTK spoiler season at theonering.net, which means it's time for everyone, or at least me, to begin thinking continuously about the upcoming conclusion of the Greatest Film Adaptation of All Time.

I think I can restrain myself for at least a little longer, at least as far as posting about it here goes. But I can't pass up posting about this one. From the truly insane cats at insanecats.com: The Two Towers Movie - Stick Version. Flash required.

Posted by jbc at 10:30 PM | view/comment (4) | TrackBack (0)

July 01, 2003

Everything Once Is Here!

Christopher of NotMyDesk's new site is on the air: Everything Once. It's a Movable Type weblog, apparently, where he'll be posting, he says, weekly updates on his performance of new and different, um, activities. If you're a NotMyDesk fan (as you should be), you will realize that this is excellent news.

Posted by jbc at 11:29 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 27, 2003

Cool Tee for Americans Abroad

Item #27 in a list of Things to Do When You're Bored: Buy an American Apology Shirt and wear it to a Toby Keith concert. Guaranteed fun.

Posted by jbc at 05:56 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 21, 2003

The Homeland Security Choker Set

From Aaron/Hiro comes this fun item: the homeland security choker set.

Posted by jbc at 04:46 PM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

June 20, 2003

Dirty Tricks Campaign Against Dean & Clark?

Kynn of Shock & Awe has posted some interesting information about people apparently masquerading as Clark supporters beating up on Dean, or Dean supporters beating up on Clark, in the Yahoo Groups forums for the respective candidates: Trying to set Dean and Clark supporters against each other.

Interesting. And totally believable, at least to me. Indeed, I'm sure the response from certain quarters will be, yeah? So what?

You mean people actually lie online? *gasp*

Yeah, well, us lefties are like that. Kumbaya, give peace a chance, building a better, more-inclusive future for all humanity. Sheesh. What a bunch of chumps, huh?

Posted by jbc at 10:57 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 18, 2003

NYC Flash Mobs

From Daypop, and not to be missed: Flash mobs take Manhattan. This is so New York.

Of course, we Southern Californians have our own version of this. It takes place every day, on the 405 freeway.

Update: See also this account of the event in question: Mobs rule! And also these additional photos.

Posted by jbc at 06:02 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

June 13, 2003

Franken Interview from BuzzFlash

From BuzzFlash, as reposted at Alternet: Al Franken and the lying liars. It's a Q&A about (among other things) the appearance Franken did on CSPAN a short time ago, where he called Bill O'Reilly a liar over his (O'Reillly's) repeated claims to have won Peabody Awards. Like the statements he made at the Book Expo, Franken goes beyond just griping about that specific lie to talk about the larger issue of the right-wing media "echo chamber", and the need of the left to counter it by getting their own story out there.

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June 11, 2003

HumanDescent's Photoshop Bestiary

Here's one of those things that you come across during random surfing (apologies for having lost track of where I came across the link) that just makes you lean back in your chair and say, "whoa." Anyway: HumanDescent's page at b3ta.com. Update: Oh; the real site of the user in question, with even more wackiness, is here: HumanDescent.

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June 10, 2003

The Nigerian Email Conference

From Danthar comes word of this droll link: The 3rd Annual Nigerian Email Conference. Heh. See you there!

Posted by jbc at 05:56 PM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

June 03, 2003

Tucker Max, Miss Vermont, and Judge Diana

Here's a really wacky story about a really wacky guy and the really wacky girl he was dating for a while, and the really wacky judge who issued an order telling the first he couldn't write things, even true things, about the second on his web site. From the New York Times: Internet battle raises questions about the First Amendment.

To fullly appreciate the wackiness, you'll need to read the pre-restrained version of the party of the first part's web site. Which, conveniently, you can do using Google's cache (at least for the moment): The Miss Vermont Story. You'll probably also want to check out Miss Vermont's web page: http://www.katyjohnson.com/.

A couple of observations: First, the judge obviously went way too far in restraining the ex-boyfriend's speech. I guess it's like business-method patents: if something takes place on the Internet, the technically challenged assume it is something completely new, not subject to the old rules. But it is subject to the old rules; speech is still speech, and telling someone he can't tell the truth about his life and his experiences is bogus.

Second, Katy Johnson and Tucker Max were made for each other. Both of them are using the Web as a forum for promoting their weird, twisted versions of how they'd like others to see them (and to promote books they've written based on that twisted reality). For Katy, it's about her chastity, and sobriety, and her blonde, wholesome, chirpy goodness. For Tucker, it's a chance to strut proudly on a stage of his own imagining, where everyone is agog at his incredible powers to seduce, to charm, to bedazzle with amusing anecdotes, to treat women as vessels for his seed, and to get really drunk and throw up on himself.

The reality comes through best when the outside observer can compare each of their accounts with the other. Which, sadly, the judge has said she's not going to allow.

Thanks to Danthar for the links.

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June 02, 2003

Borchers on Coulter

A helpful reader forwarded the following link, in which someone named Daniel Borchers goes on at length about just how vile Ann Coulter is. And man, when you gather it all togther like that, is she ever. Anyway: Jayson Blair & Ann Coulter -- Separated at Birth.

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May 25, 2003

Dullest Blog, Messy Fun

Here's some miscellaneous wackiness to liven up your Sunday.

First up, the really funny, in a subtle sort of way, dullest blog in the world. Thanks to some random weblog I can no longer find for pointing me to this.

Next, the also really funny, in a completely different sort of way, Messy Gallery 118, from Joanna.

The Web is a hyperdimensional portal. It reduces the distance between any two points to zero. I'm up early, goofing around at Dave Barry's blog while the wife and kids are still in bed, I follow a link, and bam, I'm suddenly in the kitchen of a happily married British man who likes to get all dolled up in summery dresses and tasteful makeup and pour chocolate syrup all over himself. And he does it a lot.

The world gets smaller. We learn that people are at once both stranger and more familiar than we ever imagined, or could have imagined. As with urbanization and the cosmopolitan viewpoint it created, the Web challenges our preconceptions, forcing us to expand our worldview. With the Web, we actually have a worldview, literally.

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May 24, 2003

Mrs. du Toit Freaks Out

People reveal a lot when they get upset. When we're calm and collected we can present whatever face we want to the outside world, but when something jars us loose from our moorings we start acting in ways that aren't so mediated.

I think back to the immediate aftermath of 9/11, when Ann Coulter made her call for a bloody Crusade against those evil Mohammedans occupying the Holy Lands. I mean, it was just way out there. But she was upset, and not necessarily thinking about the longterm consequences of revealing that side of her personality, so she Just Did It.

But that's really just a preliminary digression. Mrs. du Toit strikes me as being both significantly smarter and significantly less vile than Ann Coulter. But if you find it interesting to see someone start off sounding rational, and then suddenly just go off in a self-revelatory way, check out this post in her weblog, and (especially) the discussion that follows in the comments: Mind the gap.

Basically, Mrs. du Toit makes this impassioned posting about how awful it is that gay-rights advocates have managed to secure a toehold for their agenda in the public schools. Her argument is actually kind of interesting: she says she's worried about the victimization gays will suffer during the inevitable cultural backlash.

Then Adam from words mean things shows up, disagrees with her, and things get ugly.

I don't know; this may well be one of those things that seems more interesting to me than it does to anyone else. I've always been a sucker for that weird intersection of high-level intellectual discussion and visceral potty-mouth name-calling that surrounds the various never-to-be-resolved online political debates.

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May 15, 2003

Lose weight, the old fashion way

There are a lot of programs out there that claim you can "LOSE WEIGHT FAST!" But in these uncertain times, I think it's best to stick with the reliable, proven diet recipies from Weight Watchers, circa 1974. My favorite is the "Slender Quencher" made from Water, Sherry extract, andBeef Bullion cubes. Mmmmmmmm that's refreshing.

Posted by hossman at 10:33 AM | view/comment (5) | TrackBack (0)

May 14, 2003

Forked Tongues the Latest Beauty Fad

This story bothers me in a couple of different ways, and since it's too late for me to un-read it, I thought I'd share the pain with all of you: Tongue-splitting trend troubling to some. I mean, I'm all for freedom and personal expression, but yeesh.

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May 09, 2003


From memepool.com, via ymatt, another useful site for the country-club set: rent-a-negro.com. Ha! Who says lies.com doesn't look out for the information needs of conservatives as well as liberals?

Posted by jbc at 10:17 AM | view/comment (4) | TrackBack (0)

May 05, 2003

The Power Vacuum

From hossman comes word of this interesting new site: The Power Vacuum. It's a Slash site focused on debunking the Great Liberal Conspiracy; I'm hoping the folks behind it will be able to rise above the usual right-wing ranting and actually expose a few lies. Here's hoping. Anyway, as part of my effort to reach out to those who've found my story selection too liberal for their tastes, here's a place for them to try instead.

Posted by jbc at 10:29 PM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

May 02, 2003

The Web Walker Is Back

As I mentioned, I recently wrote to years-past lies.com contributor The Web Walker, inviting him to enlighten us once again with his take on current events. True conservative that he is, he (so far) has chosen to pass on this newfangled weblog thing, but he did send along an article that he said I could post on the site. So follow the link below, or scroll down, for the first Web Walker contribution to lies.com since 1996 (!).


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Crazy User Comments

Got a good one today, in user comments on the Not Tony Blair's Email page (scroll to the bottom for it; for convenience, here's a brief excerpt, in violation of my new no-blockquoting rule):

Yeah. Live in peace, Tony Blair, or Dubya's niece is going to FUCKING KILL YOU!!! Heh.

Another really great one was the one Xkot mentioned the other day, in which a comment on his blog described, in broken English, an act of (non?) cannibalism:

When I in Thailand, the village people and I together steal one baby. The baby is steal away other village who is die when birth. We share to cook it. Actually is not right to calling a human, because it is die when birth. But I tell you taste is something same a hill boar. He have no big smell but sweetness.

So. Do you have any personal favorites? Do share.

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April 28, 2003

UnHoly Army of Catholic School Girls

Sometimes, no matter what you do (or don't do) you have one of *those* days. I've recently discovered that on days like that, playing dress up with naughty cartoon catholic school girls is oddly soothing. There is an alternative version for people who use different web browsers then I.

(Your mileage may vary on the whole "soothing" thing.)

Posted by hossman at 06:05 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 27, 2003

Sunday Photo Phun

Here are a pair of fun images that have come my way today. First, from Immy2G via email, with the subject line, "Proof that Iraq has biological weapons":

And from ymatt, by request, a juxtaposition of Bush the cut-up with Bush the sober statesman, from the White House Correspondents' Dinner. My hope here was for something akin to that comedy/tragedy symbol, with the masks. (What do they call that thing, anyway? It must have a name.) Anyway:

Posted by jbc at 05:28 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Antron Singleton Is Bad. Really Bad.

As commented upon interestingly by Sungo at Sungo's Journal, check out the story of Antron Singleton, rap artist, aspirer after fame, and cannibal.

Posted by jbc at 08:09 AM | view/comment (7) | TrackBack (0)

April 26, 2003

I Dare You To Print This Email

From the good people at Foreign Policy in Focus comes this cute item in their weekly newsletter:

Why don't you simply acknowledge that you are a communist/socialist organization? From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs, right? You may think that you are clever in disguising your objectives with elaborate oratory, but rest assured, knowledgeable Americans can see through your veil of "progressive activism". Of course, we're not your core constituency, are we? You prey on the ill-informed and weak, like a pack of hyenas. You will fail, as your comrades have in the past.

Too many millions have suffered and died at the hands of the likes of you to allow socialism to re-emerge as a valid socio-political alternative.

We are watching you. As for your question, "May we publicize your comments?" I dare you.

- Charles Taylor <cgbanker@hotmail.com>

Well, he sure told them, didn't he?

Posted by jbc at 09:17 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 17, 2003

The New Onion Is Here! The New Onion Is Here!

I'm not sure why; maybe it's an indication that my midlife crisis is entering the acute stage. But the front page of the new Onion is really cracking me up this morning.

Like this story: 45 more legislators lose jobs to increased congressional automation:

WASHINGTON, DC -- Continuing a trend that began in the Senate last November, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX) announced Monday that 45 members of the House of Representatives would be laid off and replaced by cost-efficient heavy legislating machinery.

Or this one: Saddam proud he still killed more Iraqi civilians than US:

"I recently heard a critic of President Bush say he is a dictator," Saddam said. "That made me laugh. George Bush, a dictator! My sons Uday and Qusay showed more viciousness at 10 years of age."

"Bush has a long way to go before he can match me," Saddam added. "My hands are red with the blood of the innocent. His are merely a light pink."

There's lot's more great stuff there. But I think my favorite story is this one, from the News in Brief section: "Fisherman's 4-year-old son liberates bait."

INTERNATIONAL FALLS, MN -- During a fishing trip Monday, Jason Jorgensen, the 4-year-old son of International Falls fisherman Bill Jorgensen, liberated an entire styrofoam container of nightcrawlers, throwing the bait into Rainy Lake. "Run, wormies, run!" said Jorgensen as he gave the former bait its first-ever taste of sweet freedom.


Oh, and on that note. Beck, who clued me into the existence of the new Onion, also shared with me the other day the punchline from his favorite-ever quote in bash.org's QDB: <GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Okay. I think I'm done now. Back to work.

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April 15, 2003

Photos of Flowers and Baby Birds

For no especially good reason, except I was depressed about my indulging in that whining about polarization earlier, and wanted to send something uplifting to Adam at Words Mean Things, I took a break just now and snapped some photos in the yard. Specifically, some photos of the roses bloooming outside my bedroom/office window, and a nestful of baby house finches in the jasmine by the front door. Follow the link below, or scroll down, if you enjoy such things. Peace, y'all.


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April 14, 2003

Superabundant Power vs. Realultimatepower.net

I'm not sure how it came about, but both these stories ended up in front of me at the same time, and they seem to share a certain ineffable something, so I'm posting them together. So there.

First, from Janus: the Reuters Oddly Enough story of "The Great Sasuke": Masked wrestler wins Japan assembly seat. Good stuff, especially the part about how "the wrestler said he now hopes to demonstrate his 'superabundant power' outside of the ring as well as in it."

Because who could hear about a Japanese wrestler-turned-politican wielding his "superabundant power" without immediately thinking of realultimatepower.net, the ninja-tribute site created by faux-12-year-old Robert Hamburger. I previously posted a lies.com item about the site; that item continues to be one of the top comment-getters here.

Including the recent comment from reader Jeremy, who pointed to a really excellent piece from Studio 360, the public radio show, featuring an interview with the site's creator. It's actually worth enduring the suck of Realplayer to listen to it; that guy Robert (the real Robert, not his 12-year-old alter ego) is so cool it makes my pee pee hurt.

Update: Be sure to check out http://www.internetmammogram.net/, which appears to be the work of the same subversive character. Thanks to Beck for the link.

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April 13, 2003

Fun and Games at Re-Code.com

I'm a sucker for sites like www.re-code.com. Not because I particularly want to go to the trouble of printing out bogus barcodes and then surreptitiously slapping them on similar but higher-priced items at the local Vons, but because I love it when a site takes pains to adopt a tone and appearance that leads you to believe it's something that it isn't. Or is it?

My favorite part about re-code.com is the way they scrupulously avoid the use of the word theft to describe the activity they are allegedly enabling. Instead, they couch the descriptions in the language of responsible consumerism. Like this:

Re-Code.com is built on two unique concepts known as Preshopping and Postshopping. Preshopping refers to visiting the Re-code.com website first finding a store in your area with prices that you want to pay. Many of our codes are from generic items which could easily be used to re-code brand name items. At stores which rely heavily on the barcode for your bill total, printed bar code stickers from this site could be used to relabel and re-code expensive products with cheaper prices. Rather than our competitors that allow you to compare apples to apples, we allow you the consumer to relabel dvd's with apple prices. You compare products based on packaging material and price. Postshopping is what makes Re-code.com a consumer's community. After purchasing items at their actual prices, we ask you to return to Re-code.com to upload information about the product including price and UPC number of legitimit purchases. Through Preshopping and Postshopping, you can help yourself and other's pay the prices you determine for the products you want!
Gee, thanks, Re-code.com!

They lessen the impact somewhat with the following disclaimer, which appears at the bottom of every page. But it's still fun.

* We in no way endorse the theft of products or services. Re-code.com was created as satire. We intend only to make aware the prevelance of barcodes and begin a critical discussion about what their pervasiveness means. This is not a product designed to be used in any malicious or illegal manner. Any such use is strictly prohibited. You should not use any of the barcodes available from this site for any illegal activity. They are here for your amusement only.

Link courtesy of Daypop.

Update: And now, just that fast, it's down, replaced by a copy of the nastygram sent to them by the lawyers for WalMart, or somesuch. Oh, well.

Later update: Oh, hey. The site is still there; you just have to click on the nastygram, and then click through a disclaimer, to get there. Cool. Dumb on their part, but still cool.

Posted by jbc at 08:10 AM | view/comment (3) | TrackBack (0)

April 10, 2003

Get Your War On Updated

The latest depressing fun from Get Your War On is up as of yesterday. Favorite quote: "I AM WITHOLDING MY ANALYSIS UNTIL I HEAR FROM THE IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER."

Posted by jbc at 10:12 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 30, 2003

Kim Jong Il's LiveJournal

I'm not sure if this is only going to be funny to long-time computer-mediated-communication obsessives like me, but God, is this funny. From daypop: Kim Jong Il (the illmatic)'s LiveJournal.

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March 29, 2003

The Iraq-O-Meter

Again from daypop: the Iraq-O-Meter.

Posted by jbc at 03:10 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Iraq War Rationale in a Nutshell

Hey. I just realized something: lies.com is the most-prominent war-obsessed weblog that is authored by an actual O'Reilly author. Yay for me!

In honor of that, here's a nice little Nutshell guide to our reasons for going to war with Iraq. It's from minimumeffort.com, courtesy of daypop: A warmonger explains war to a peacenik.

Posted by jbc at 02:25 AM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

March 27, 2003

Doctored (and Non-Doctored) 1940s Propaganda Posters

A lot of you are not going to like these. But seriously, they're really funny, from a certain point of view: 1940s propaganda posters remixed. Thanks to Bravo for the link.

And now, thanks to Hiro and Yserbius, here are a bunch more cool posters for those who prefer their propaganda straight, not doctored: From EBay: This is the enemy and The United Nations fight for freedom. From Snapshots of the Past: Jap... you're next!, Loaded?, and Don't Drop the Ball! And finally, from ArtsNotDead.com, Cruel Aviator.

Posted by jbc at 11:06 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 25, 2003


From the good people at Defective Yeti, via Janus, comes this droll screenshot of the CNN web site. Heh. Really.

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March 24, 2003

Dave Barry on Writing Oscar Jokes with Steve

Dave Barry reveals the process behind the creation of Steve Martin's Oscar jokes. Dave Barry is extremely cool.

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March 22, 2003

Thoreau's Civil Disobedience

In the striving-after-truth vein, here's something I hadn't read in a while, but which all this protesting and counter-protesting put me in mind of: Civil disobedience. Now there's someone who could have taught Dubya a thing or two about "moral clarity."

Posted by jbc at 07:43 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 21, 2003

GYWO #22 Is Up

Get Your War On has a new update. My favorite quote: "All I have to say is, Once this is over, the Iraqi people better be the freest fucking people on the face of the earth. They better be freer than me. They better be so fucking free they can fly."

Posted by jbc at 06:39 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 16, 2003

The Foundation for a Patriotic America

I honestly can't tell if the Foundation for a Patriotic America is intended to be serious or sarcastic. Which means the people behind it are either really scary or really subversive. Either way, I like it. Thanks to Bravo for the link.

Posted by jbc at 11:24 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

Bulwer-Lytton Results from 2002

I'd missed this when it was actually timely, but Hiro fixed that: winning entries from the 2002 edition of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, in which people compete to write the worst opening sentence for a novel. Lots of great ones; here's an example: The professor looked down at his new young lover, who rested fitfully, lashed as she was with duct tape to the side of his stolen hovercraft, her head lolling gently in the breeze, and as they soared over the buildings of downtown St. Paul to his secret lair he mused that she was much like a sweet ripe juicy peach, except for her not being a fuzzy three-inch sphere produced by a tree with pink blossoms and that she had internal organs and could talk.

Posted by jbc at 11:08 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 14, 2003

Texas Man Begins Court-Ordered Stay in Doghouse

I'm not sure why this story strikes me as adding up to more than the sum of its kooky parts, but it speaks to me. It says something about where we are as a society, as parents, as dispensers of justice, as strivers after truth. Or not. Probably not. But anyway, from the Houston Chronicle: Vidor man sentenced to 30 days in doghouse.

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February 28, 2003

Have a Piece of Pi

From Mnemnor comes word of this fun site dedicated to the irrational side in all of us. It nearly crashed my browser, but that's life on the edge for you.

Posted by jbc at 10:54 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 24, 2003

Jesus Is Da Bomb

I have no idea what this site is trying to do, but it still blows me away. Thanks to Bravo for the link.

Posted by jbc at 10:32 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 20, 2003

Say Hi to Elvis for Me

I don't even know what to say about this, it speaks for itself. From afterlifetelegrams.com: For a fee of $5.00 per word (5 word minimum), our customers can have telegrams delivered to people who have passed away. This is done with the help of terminally Ill volunteers who memorize the telegrams before passing away, and then deliver the telegrams after they have passed away. (Emphasis is that of the site, not mine). The FAQ is highly illuminating.

Posted by hossman at 03:30 PM | view/comment (3) | TrackBack (0)

January 22, 2003

Come for the Hobbits, stay for the Trolls

As many of you allready know, there are a lot of stupid people out there -- but I never realized just how bad the problem was. Staff members of "Yahoo Travel" say that lots of people are searching for vacation packages in places like "Mordor" and "Rivendell" -- not realizing they are make believe.

Posted by hossman at 11:18 AM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

Mitnick Is Online Again! Lock Up Your Daughters!

From Jason comes word of this cool Wired article on celebrated hacker scapegoat Kevin Mitnick's return to the Web, as televised on TechTV. Congratulations, Kevin, on your return to what passes for online society.

Posted by jbc at 09:56 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

January 06, 2003

Legal Proceedings in the Clinton/Cheney/NASA/Iron Mountain Conspiracy Case

Let's start off the week right, shall we? From Janus comes word of this really cool legal filing from 1993, in which a U.S. district judge responded to certifiable nut-job Teri Smith Tyler's claims that she was owed $5 billion in damages for various horrific actions taken by various public figures. My favorite part is where Tyler asserts that Gulf War I was undertaken so the U.S. could restock its sexual slavery camps, and she quotes Dick Cheney as saying, "Well, we were so sick and tired of killing black girls. We just had to put some variety back into our death-hunting industry. And they (Persians) are incredibly beautiful. The beauty of the face heightens the pleasure of the kill. I know of no higher pleasure than the gang-rape of exceedingly beautiful people." I can totally imagine Dick Cheney saying something like that.

Posted by jbc at 09:11 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

December 06, 2002

FedExing Santa

The usual holiday frivolity. This guy David sent a FedEx letter to Santa. Cute comment about John Ashcroft making things easier in the knowing who's naughty and nice department. Also, don't miss the link to FedEx's tracking app, where you can see that indeed the package was delivered, and signed for (well, "signature on file") by "S CLAUS", in Basalt, CO.

Posted by jbc at 05:44 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

December 04, 2002

Get Your War On Updates Again

I know; I'm behind the times. Get Your War On updated way back before Thanksgiving, and I'm just now noticing. So sue me. But first, if you haven't, go check it out. Favorite quote: If an FBI agent secretly takes a dump in your toilet, does he have to flush?

Posted by jbc at 12:50 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

December 02, 2002

An Onion Infographic: Hillary in 2004?

More Onion goodness, this time brought to my attention by Beck: What Do You Think? Hillary in 2004?

Posted by jbc at 03:23 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 26, 2002

Artist Objects To His Own Painting's Title

A funny one from Janus, as reported in Canada.com's National Post: Artist, Gallery in Row Over Show's Naughty Name. It seems artist Bill Rose created a painting titled, "Any Asshole Can Make Art." Then the James Baird Gallery, with which Rose used to (but no longer does) have a commercial relationship, included the painting in a show the gallery promoted under the same name. Now the artist has hired a lawyer and sent a nastygram to the gallery, alleging that the show's name is "offensive and defamatory."

Posted by jbc at 03:24 PM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

November 24, 2002

New Get Your War On

The ultra-fine people at Get Your War On have a new installment, this time featuring the U.S. Civil War. My favorite part is the morphing of the clip art, via things like a big 'X' through the telephone and computer, to keep the images historically accurate.

Posted by jbc at 11:03 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

November 21, 2002

Silly Mac Story

Slow day for falsehoods, but in the meantime, Janus sent me this cute story: Mac User Finally Just Up And Smacks Someone.

Posted by jbc at 11:28 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

November 14, 2002

Lord of the Peeps

Between serial viewings of the FOTR extended edition DVD, and crossing off days until TTT debuts on December 18, I somehow found time to check out Lord of the Peeps: The Fellowship of the Peep.

Posted by jbc at 01:29 PM | view/comment (6) | TrackBack (0)

November 13, 2002

Onion: Beltway Sniper Game Release Delayed Out of Respect for Victims

The Onion continues to be a beacon of sanity in an insanse world. Thanks to Jason for the link.

Posted by jbc at 11:33 AM | view/comment (7) | TrackBack (0)

October 21, 2002

The Telemarketer Counter Script

I love this. From Hiro, a must-have tool for those tired of working at a disadvantage in dealing with pushy telemarketers: the anti-telemarketing counterscript.

Posted by jbc at 03:32 PM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

October 16, 2002

Get Your War On Shines Again

Not really news, but the mention of Operation Enduring Freedom reminded me that I hadn't linked yet to the truly excellent latest installment of Get Your War On. I was actually confused for a minute while reading this one; like Bill Murray's character in Groundhog Day, I was saying to myself, "whoops; someone accidentally re-ran the first-ever strip here." Then it hit me what he was doing. Awesome stuff.

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October 09, 2002

Escher's "Ascending and Descending" in LEGO

from the making-the-unreal-real dept.

From Janus (as usual) comes a link that gives a nice perspective on the nature of truth: the realization of M.C. Escher's Ascending and Descending in LEGO blocks. Cool.

Posted by jbc at 05:17 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

September 20, 2002

The Library of Moria

from the this-isn't-a-mine;-it's-a...-actually,-I-don't-know-what-this-is dept.

Hard to know quite how to classify this one, but if you're a fan of both Tolkien and wacky Web-based obsessions (and who isn't?), it's a must-see: The Library of Moria, where two self-described "youngish heterosexual women" present everything you ever wanted to know (and much, much more) about every possible homosexual pairing of the characters in the Lord of the Rings.

Posted by jbc at 09:29 AM | view/comment (17) | TrackBack (0)

September 03, 2002

The Flemish Peril

from the reader-rants dept.

Decent spelling, a fair amount of profanity, and a more or less completely incomprehensible raft of bile directed at... the Flemish? Someone named Flemish? I have no idea, really, but a valued lies.com reader felt like submitting it, so what the hell, I'm posting it. Follow the link, or scroll down, to read the actual submission. Peace.


Posted by jbc at 05:49 AM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

Racial Slur DataBase

from the can't-tell-the-players-without-a-program dept.

hossman writes "Not much to say, the site speaks for itself: RSDB"

Posted by jbc at 05:47 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

August 07, 2002

Silly Cartoon About Lenin's Beard

from the slow-news-day dept.

I'm posting this because I can, mostly. It's a cartoon that Janus seems to think is funny, because he keeps mentioning it in the mud, about how this guy trims his beard to look like Lenin's and suddenly he has supernatural revolutionary powers, or something. Mostly I'm just checking to see if my latest attempt to fix Slash (since I broke it upgrading my redhat distribution recently) has taken. Enjoy!

Posted by jbc at 10:33 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 25, 2002

Everquest Universe Increasingly Silly

from the like-the-DMV-with-dwarves dept.

I spend a lot of time online. I've been known to get into fantasy worlds from time to time. I spend a pretty inordinate amount of time on a particular MUD. But even I have a lot of trouble believing players of Everquest camping out for several days to kill some dragon like ladies lined up outside Mervyns on sale day morning.

Posted by ymatt at 05:22 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 18, 2002


from the dear-god-why? dept.

Due to the lack of anything better to do, some fools are trying to make Linux run on the Xbox, even better is the fool who is offering a $200,000 prize for doing so. If there wasn't a good reason before I guess there is one now.

Posted by at 10:29 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Kinda like Bushisms, only not...

from the onomatopoeia dept.

Yahoo Admits Changing E-Mail Text to Block Hackers

"Evaluate," then, becomes, "reviewuate." Simple!

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July 10, 2002

The Gaping Maw's Big Book of Sign Language

from the you,-too,-can-talk-with-the-deaf dept.

From the Gaping Maw, likewise via Janus, comes this handy how-to for communicating via sign language. Useful!

Posted by jbc at 07:54 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 06, 2002

'Water Closet' Game Reviewed

from the be-afraid.-be-very-afraid. dept.

Here at lies.com I like nothing better than probing the wacky side of various nations' national character; in the past I've pointed out Brits being eminently British, and Americans being quintessentially American. Now it's the turn of our good friends in Japan, who apparently lead the world in obsession with bodily functions, as evidenced by this SomethingAwful review (pointed out to me by Raja) of a computer game called Water Closet.

Posted by jbc at 05:23 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 12, 2002

Ebay: Pay for Wife's Boob Job, Cop a Feel

from the what-a-country dept.

From Ebay, as archived at cruel.com: Feel Wife's Breasts If You Pay For Boob Job. Can't blame a guy for trying, I guess.

Posted by jbc at 02:51 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

June 05, 2002

Deep-Fried Twinkies

from the gourmets-take-note dept.

Christopher Sell, an expat Brit who runs a Brooklyn restaurant called ChipShop, is making headlines with a dessert item that apparently has diners coming back in droves: deep-fried twinkies. Yum. As a bonus, if eating the sugar-cum-cholesterol explosion drives you to assassinate one or more politicians, you have a guaranteed defense, a la Dan White. Cool.

Posted by jbc at 02:24 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

June 03, 2002

The Return of the Not My Desk Theme Week

from the oh,-frabjous-day dept.

If you haven't yet been saturated by the wonderful goodness that is Not My Desk, this would be a good time to start. Mr. Livingston has given us a nifty theme week, in which he comments on old Not My Desk material. It's sort of like lies.com, in the sense of being a wacky web site where you're exposed to an alternate viewpoint, except in his case it's actually funny. Yay!

Posted by jbc at 04:59 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 15, 2002

The Nightmare Project

from the ooh,-scary dept.

More fun from Janus: The Nightmare Project, where you can share your darkest dreams with several million strangers.

Posted by jbc at 10:32 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 11, 2002

McSweeney's List: Names of Squash That Also Make Good Terms of Endearment

from the give-me-a-hug,-you-large-turban-you dept.

So, I hang out in this MUD all day, and people post the interesting URLs they come across, many of which wind up as stories here. Lately, Janus has been posting lots of weird lists from mcsweeneys.net, including this one: Names of Squash That Also Make Good Terms of Endearment. It's cool, in a Pokey-esque kind of way; a reminder that the world is a big, wacky place, containing lots of people who think differently than I do. At least, that's what I take from it.

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May 09, 2002

Artist Modifies Freeway Sign; Commuters Benefit

from the taggers-take-note dept.

The L.A. Times has a story about Richard Ankrom, an artist who spent two years planning and installing an unauthorized work of art (consisting of the word "North", the symbol for the 5 freeway, and an arrow) on a freeway sign above the northbound Harbor Freeway near downtown L.A. The best part? After nine months, authorities still hadn't realized the addition was unauthorized. After reading the story, I remembered using that offramp, and being grateful to Caltrans (I thought) for the well-thought-out sign; it's a tricky offramp, and Ankrom's addition really helps.

Posted by jbc at 04:25 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 08, 2002

The Tabasco Challenge

from the not-to-be-viewed-at-mealtime dept.

From the extremely odd people at stinkfactor.com comes The Tabasco Challenge, in which a fine example of American manhood attempts to drink an entire bottle of Tabasco sauce and then not throw up for 30 minutes.

Posted by jbc at 05:20 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

May 07, 2002

Count Dracula Declares Kingdom in Germany

from the no,-seriously dept.

I think you just have to read the story, over at Yahoo News, courtesy Reuters Oddly Enough: Count Dracula Stirs Row with His 'Kingdom' in Germany. Then you can go visit the Count's web site, at www.prince-dracula.com. As befits his ultimate-evil nature, his site uses frames, hard-to-read navigational links, and the following warning: "This site is optimized for browsers with Internet Explorer 5.0 or better and screen resolution of at least 800 x 600. Best results are achieved with Internet Explorer 5.5+ and 1024 x 768 screen resolution." Oooh, very evil.

Posted by jbc at 08:42 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Celebrity Prank Calls

from the guilty-pleasures dept.

With my lies.com posting obsession temporarily hijacked by an obsession of another sort, I appealed to the folks in the Ishar mud for a suitable item to post today, and this is what they came up with: Celebrity Prank Calls. Enjoy.

Posted by jbc at 01:33 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 22, 2002

Dr. Richard Paley on Evolutionist Propaganda

from the chmod-666-and-pray dept.

Awesome person Janus brought the following to my attention: Dr. Richard Paley's essay pointing out the evil, Satanic influences in both PBS's current "Evolution" series and the OS X operating system from Apple Computer. It's hard for me to decide if Dr. Paley is serious, or is just out to yank our collective chain. I suspect he might himself be serious in trying to save us from godless evolutionism and Macintoshes, but is being made fun of without his realizing it by the people feeding him his information. For example: "According to one of our readers, the new MacOS X contains another Satanic holdover from the 'BSD Unix' OS mentioned above; to open up certain locked files one has to run a program much like the DOS prompt in Microsoft Windows and type in a secret code: 'chmod 666'. What other horrors lurk in this thing?" What horrors indeed.

Posted by jbc at 07:57 AM | view/comment (38) | TrackBack (0)

April 19, 2002

The American Standard Type R

from the on-the-net,-everyone-knows-your-car-is-a-toilet dept.

Mark Leinhos would be just another sad, twisted example of car-obsessed American youth, except he apparently also has a sense of humor, which led him to create a web-based tribute to his toilet (along with all the obligatory glamour photos of his extensively modified Mazda Miata). Follow the pics of me on my ride link at your own risk, however.

Posted by jbc at 03:42 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 17, 2002

Mother Claims Acne Drug Drove Son to Suicide Flight

from the where-to-start? dept.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is one of several sites carrying the story of a lawsuit filed by Julia Bishop, the mother of the 15-year-old boy who last January wrote a note praising Osama bin Laden, then flew a private plane into a Tampa office building. In her suit, which targets drug company Hoffmann-La Roche, Bishop claims that her son, an otherwise happy, well-adjusted child, was made psychotic by use of the company's Accutane acne medication. Although Accutane has been associated with suicide, and carries a warning label to that effect, the company's position is that teenage acne sufferers are simply more prone to suicide than the general population. "We continue, as do the experts, to believe there is no link," said company spokeswoman Carolyn Glynn.

Posted by jbc at 12:09 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

ABC News on 9/11 Conspiracy Theories

from the beware-the-alien-dubya-menace dept.

ABC News is running a pretty interesting article that looks at the wave of conspiracy theories that have sprung up around the 9/11 attacks, including that of a French author who claims the Pentagon was not actually hit by a plane, but was instead bombed, and even nuttier stuff about aliens, dubya conspiring with bin Laden, and so on and so forth. The article quotes experts who say conspiracy theories are an essential part of the American character, and points out how the Internet makes it so any wacko with some HTML skillz (/me waves cheerfully to the folks at home) can come off as being just as credible as, say, the New York Times, causing people to become even more unstuck than they otherwise would be.

Posted by jbc at 04:54 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 16, 2002

Kooky 404 Page

from the funny-because-it's-true dept.

From mamselle comes this funny (to me, at least) error message. Actually, I do need some fresh air.

Posted by jbc at 07:31 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 12, 2002

realultimatepower.net's Ninja Obsession

from the he's-joking.-I-hope. dept.

Worth a look is http://www.realultimatepower.net/, a site all about ninjas, at least as interpreted by a frighteningly typical adolescent American male. Then there's this site, which is a parody of the first one (I think, though since the first one is hopefully a parody already, I'm not sure if that's completely kosher), with the focus shifted to hippos.

Posted by jbc at 06:24 AM | view/comment (36) | TrackBack (0)

April 09, 2002

Jovial Brits Queue to View Dead Royalty

from the how-very-British dept.

I don't know why it's such a comforting thought, but there it is: the sun has long since set on their empire, their economy is in the loo, and their PM is a fratboy's poodle, but the British continue to lead the world in being British. In this case, by standing cheerily in line all day to view the Queen Mum's coffin. Well done.

Posted by jbc at 03:03 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 08, 2002

Pegleg Smith Liars' Contest

from the top-this dept.

From the LA Times comes this story of the 27th annual Pegleg Smith Liars' Contest, an event in which a bunch of people huddle under blankets in the middle of the Anza Borrego desert and celebrate the memory of a one-legged alcoholic prospector who was also a pathological liar by telling made-up stories about the man. No, really.

Posted by jbc at 02:51 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 06, 2002

Woman Convicted of Tear Gas Attack

from the hold-still-for-a-second dept.

From Reuters (via Yahoo News) comes this story of a French mother of two who has been convicted of spraying tear gas on a stranger in a supermarket parking lot. The woman testified that she just wanted to see if the newly purchased product worked. (Jeez. French people. Why couldn't she just test it on her kids, like an American mother?)

Posted by jbc at 03:20 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 05, 2002

Husband Forced to Watch E.T. 100 Times, Doesn't Kill Wife

from the love,-honor,-and-obey-the-crackpot-whims dept.

Yahoo News has the story of 25-year-old Sian Thurkettle, a British woman who has seen E.T. (the sappy Spielberg movie with the not-yet-drug-addicted Drew Barrymore) no fewer than 773 times. What I find most amazing about the story is Thurkettle's husband George, who despite having to endure his wife's being moved to tears during at least 100 viewings at which he couldn't manage not to be present, has so far managed to resist the urge to end either her life or his own. I guess he feels he owes her for her willingness to share the last name "Thurkettle".

Posted by jbc at 04:02 AM | view/comment (3) | TrackBack (0)

April 02, 2002

Desperately Seeking Ladonia

from the give-us-your-tired,-your-poor,-your...-confused dept.

According to a recent item in the Risks mailing list, more than 3,000 Pakistanis have recently applied for citizenship in the country of Ladonia, filling out the nation's online citizenship application. This would be great, except that Ladonia is imaginary, existing only on the net and in the mind of one Lars Vilks, an otherwise-sane Swede who "created" the 1-square-kilometer nation, ostensibly located on the border between Sweden and Denmark, in 1996.

Posted by jbc at 11:16 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

April 01, 2002

Annual Spasm of April Fool's "Humor"

from the okay,-I-noticed-your-"joke".-can-we-go-back-to-reality-now? dept.

I refuse to link to any of the 17 bajillion April Fool's jokes to be found on the net today. It's been at least two years now since I found any of these even remotely funny. Wake me when it's April 2, and I can go back to disbelieving things because their proponents are dangerously out of touch with reality, rather than because their proponents are intentionally spreading misinformation in a misguided attempt at humor. Hmm. Actually, I'm probably just jealous. Whatever.

Posted by jbc at 09:53 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 26, 2002

Deep Pokey

from the cartoons-not-in-your-Sunday-paper dept.

So, maybe you've seen the Pokey the Penguin comic strip before; maybe you haven't. If you haven't, the one currently running is, I think, a particularly good one for you to cut your teeth on. It is, as far as I can tell, completely incomprehensible, with no actual humor detectable by anyone other than the artist who created it, and possibly one or two of his closest friends. In other words, it's classic Pokey.

Posted by jbc at 01:51 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

March 18, 2002

Jeremy Lott on Lowry's Call to Nuke Mecca

from the that'll-show-'em dept.

In case you missed it last week, Jeremy Lott, writing for The American Prospect Online, had a few choice words for Rich Lowry, editor of the National Review Online, for suggesting that nuking Mecca in retaliation for a hypothetical future terrorist attack might not be such a bad idea. The National Review Online, you'll recall, is the same bastion of insightful analysis that previously gave us Ann Coulter's "invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity" screed. Sheesh.

Posted by jbc at 05:08 AM | view/comment (5) | TrackBack (0)