12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society

One of the advantages of working at a really large company is finding interesting stuff in the printer bin.

This particular item apparently made the blog rounds allready, but just in case you missed it: 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society. The Gator Gay-Straight Alliance "Flash!" site is fairly intolerable, but I think I might be Straight is easily the best flyer I've seen from a college organization, and the Not-A-Cutout project seems pretty cool.

Imaginary Girlfriends

From Janus/onan comes word of this nifty service: Imaginary girlfriends. "The girls are real. The relationship is not."

Marshall Gets Letters on Gay Marriage

Joshua Micah Marshall posts some very interesting email he has received since posting about his own wrestling with the issue of gay and lesbian marriage versus civil unions: As probably comes as no surprise....

Send Flowers to the Gay Betrothed

Here's a cool idea: Flowers.

Anybody want to CUDDLE with me?

This link care of my buddy Wess, who's always curious about what laws he's breaking: C.U.D.D.L.E -- Cousins United to Defeat Discriminating Laws through Education.

Indicators of Whether Your Marriage Will Last

As a special Valentine's Day public service announcement for those in the Lies.com readership who suddenly have the ability to actually marry their chosen life partners, here's another one from falsehood-obsessed Professor Tyler Cowen: How to stay together. The short version? Don't grimace and roll your eyes when looking at your partner. Or, more to the point, maintain those rose-colored glasses that let you overlook your partner's flaws and criticisms, while noticing his/her nice legs and sweet nothings whispered tenderly in your ear.

The Mrs. and I will be celebrating our 20th next month. Hooray for the power of long-term self-deception!

Abstinance Makes People Dorks (aparently)

My buddy Mark put it best when he sent me this link...

Is this the best the Christian abstinance brigade can do?
"100 things do to with your boyfriend or girlfriend instead of it"
I mean, do they read this? Seriously? Do they have teenagers? Have they
ever been a teenager? And what's with the circa 1950's 'it'... come on, even
Jerry Falwell can say "sex" with a straight face.

Onion on Outsourced Marital Duties

As is frequently the case with the Onion, it's not just the idea, but the execution. Anyway: CEO's marital duties outsourced to Mexican groundskeeper.

Thanks to Hiro for reminding me to actually read the story, after I'd giggled for a while at the accompanying photos yesterday.

This Way to the Bunnyranch

Matthew Teigen has a memorable, if predictably depressing, account of his trip to a brothel in Virginia City, Nevada: Bunnyranch. This is the kind of thing I love about the Web, and have loved about it from the beginning. No, not stories about sex. I mean the way the Web lets you connect up with other human beings you wouldn't otherwise have known, share their stories, vicariously experience a piece of their lives, if only for a moment.

One other thing I have to say: The next time I'm buying a car, I want Matthew Teigen with me. Dude can seriously negotiate.

John Kusch's Letter to Kerkman

So, it looks like our society intends to have itself a little discussion about gay marriage. I suppose Karl Rove thinks this is a way to cement his boy's hold on power, or something. Well, all I can say is, bring it on. John Kusch appears to have a similar attitude, judging by some of the stuff he's been writing lately. Like this: An Open Letter to Wisconsin State Representative Samantha Kerkman (R-Powers Lake).

Holladay's Gay Myths

I can't resist a Top 10 list, so here you go: A queer girl's top 10 gay myths.

Hadden Sentenced in California

Tanya Hadden, the California science teacher who previously served 6 months in Nevada for running off with her 15-year-old student, has now been sentenced in California. In return for guilty pleas, she received a 2-year sentence: Teacher gets 2 years for sex with student.

In related news, the boy's family seems to have upgraded to a more-ambitious kind of lawyer. After initially filing a claim with the El Cajon school district for $1 million for the original incident, they've now filed a claim for $350 million for an incident in February when the boy was allegedly attacked by another student: District denies $350M claim by SB boy's family. Both claims have been denied by the district, but filing such claims is apparently a precursor to filing a civil lawsuit.

Interestingly (or not, depending on how you view such things), the way I found out about this latest sentencing was through a sudden influx of sex-obsessed teenage males posting comments to this earlier lies.com story on the case. I checked my referrers to see if some high-profile site had linked to us, but no, it turns out to just be the result of the page's #1 googlerank in the search for "Tanya Hadden". Woo. Go lies.com!

Hymen-Restoration Surgery

I'm not going to comment on this, beyond posting the item. You get to assign your own meanings. From ABC News' Lynn Sherr: Like a virgin. (Thanks to Aaron/Hiro for the link.)

Mrs. du Toit Freaks Out

People reveal a lot when they get upset. When we're calm and collected we can present whatever face we want to the outside world, but when something jars us loose from our moorings we start acting in ways that aren't so mediated.

I think back to the immediate aftermath of 9/11, when Ann Coulter made her call for a bloody Crusade against those evil Mohammedans occupying the Holy Lands. I mean, it was just way out there. But she was upset, and not necessarily thinking about the longterm consequences of revealing that side of her personality, so she Just Did It.

But that's really just a preliminary digression. Mrs. du Toit strikes me as being both significantly smarter and significantly less vile than Ann Coulter. But if you find it interesting to see someone start off sounding rational, and then suddenly just go off in a self-revelatory way, check out this post in her weblog, and (especially) the discussion that follows in the comments: Mind the gap.

Basically, Mrs. du Toit makes this impassioned posting about how awful it is that gay-rights advocates have managed to secure a toehold for their agenda in the public schools. Her argument is actually kind of interesting: she says she's worried about the victimization gays will suffer during the inevitable cultural backlash.

Then Adam from words mean things shows up, disagrees with her, and things get ugly.

I don't know; this may well be one of those things that seems more interesting to me than it does to anyone else. I've always been a sucker for that weird intersection of high-level intellectual discussion and visceral potty-mouth name-calling that surrounds the various never-to-be-resolved online political debates.

Schlosser on the Shadow Economy

Eric Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation, has a new book out: Reefer Madness: Sex, Drugs and Cheap Labor in the American Black Market. He looks at the free-market side of the marijuana, sex, and undocumented-worker stories, pointing out some interesting facts along the way. Like, marijuana has now passed corn as the US's leading cash crop, and the black-market business in drugs, pr0n, and illegal labor now constitutes nearly 10% of the US GDP. Schlosser's conclusion is that as a country we're deeply screwed up, with high-profile public morality masking a depraved underbelly.

A few links: The book's first chapter, as excerpted by the New York Times, a review in the Times, and an interview with Schlosser at bookpage.com.

Bobby Burgess Talks About Michelle

I remember the first time I read a real diary on the Web. It was Bryon Sutherland's The Semi-Existence of Bryon, and it must have been in 1995 or so. Wow, I thought. The Web is even cooler than I thought.

I was reminded of that this morning when I followed a link from Adam's Words Mean Things to Bobby Burgess's a gray box with words inside, where you can read Burgess's thoughts about his girlfriend, Michelle.

Nothin' like a little "Man on Dog" action

If you haven't heard about Sen. Rick Santorum's AP Interview from earlier this month, you should really check out the transcript. The overall feel of the interview can best be summarized by a comment the interviewer made in the middle: "I didn't think I was going to talk about "man on dog" with a United States senator, it's sort of freaking me out."

And just for the record, I love news.google.com so much, I want to marry it and have it's babies -- I was searching to see if I could find any longer transcripts of the interview, and I found several superb opinions on the whole incident (from various sides of the US Political Machine).

WWN: Saddam Starred in Gay Porn Films

There's something fairly delicious in having the Weekly World News included in the list of publications available from Yahoo! Entertainment. Because, for example, it allows me to link to stories like this: Saddam starred in gay porn films!

Gasp!

In the newly uncovered 86-minute prison flick, Saddam, then just 34, plays a naive young peasant who is wrongly convicted and sent to jail. He is initiated into homosexuality by a series of older and more experienced cons.

"Saddam's acting in the picture is actually quite good," al-Sabah notes. "One scene, in which he buries his face in a pillow and cries, is so touching you almost can forget you're watching a low-budget sexploitation film."

Haircut Bandit: CAUGHT!

It's not the sickest fetish you'll ever hear of, but the amusing part to focus on here is that it took the Los Angeles District Attorneys a while to figure out what charges they could file against a man who was sneaking up behind people to cut off their hair. Apparently "Hair is property like anything else, and it was taken by force, so that's robbery". That's why they make the big bucks ladies and gentlemen.

Supreme Court Hears Arguments on Texas Sodomy Law

Interesting arguments at the US Supreme Court yesterday, concerning whether or not the Texas sodomy law, which criminalizes various acts, but only when the participants are both of the same sex, should be struck down as unconstitutional. Based on the questions they put to the two sides, the court is "deeply divided," with folks like Rehnquist and Scalia probing for ways to justify what is clearly, at least to my way of thinking, a bogus law, and folks like Breyer and Souter apparently taking the other side. But we'll have to wait until late June or so to hear what the decision is.

In the meantime, in the interest of recognizing high-profile falsehood, I feel compelled to point out the op-ed piece Norah Vincent has running in today's Los Angeles Times: 'Rights Just for Us': The Gay Left's Self-Serving Agenda (stupid free login required; cypherpunk98/cypherpunk works). I get the feeling Vincent would like to chime in on the side of those who portray the current court challenge as somehow being about getting "special rights" for gays. Which it isn't, of course; the law in question functions as exactly the opposite: a codification of special rights for heterosexuals. That is, after all, one of the two bases on which the law is being challenged.

But Vincent finds another way to make the same case: She points to the actions of groups like the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, which have been active in using boycotts and negative publicity to target sponsors of anti-gay talk show hosts like "Dr." Laura Schlessinger and Michael Savage, and claims this constitutes a curtailment of free-speech rights.

Which is completely ludicrous. The First Amendment says Congress shall make no law abridging freedom of speech. Nobody's passing laws to muzzle homophobic speech here. Schlessinger and Savage are free to spout off whatever bigotry they like. And people who disagree with their views are similarly free to speak out against it, including banding together to pressure advertisers not to support them.

Update: I confess to not having a clue who Norah Vincent was when I wrote the above. I vaguely remembered seeing her byline on previous LA Times op-ed pieces, but had just dismissed her as another right-wing anti-gay crusader. That point of view fueled my pissy rant, above.

Well, duh. Norah Vincent, upon further investigation (thanks, Janus), turns out to be, among other things, gay. She's written extensively on the intersection of gender and politics, and seems pretty likely not to have been trying to make the particular coded-language appeal to the "gays want special rights" position I accused her of.

I still think she's wrong to protray the attempted boycotting of companies that sponsor anti-gay talk show hosts as a violation of First Amendment rights. But given that she's a lesbian who's 1) out, 2) outspoken, and 3) positioned somewhere significantly off the main left/right axis that defines most politically active types in this country, I'm going to have to plead guilty to my own brand of bigotry in how I interpreted her column, above.

I confess I felt an inclination to just edit my comments, Dave Winer-like, to erase the evidence of my lame-osity. But I won't. I'd rather leave it as a reminder to myself of my own fallibility (which I will predictably ignore next time an opportunity to do so comes up). Oh well.

Impure as Driven Snow

Lots of snow in the East has apparently led to an outbreak of naughty sculptures: Police Field Complaint About Busty Snow Woman, Women's Group Debates Snow Penis, and a statue that brings new meaning to the term snow blower. Remember to wear your mittens! Update: Hiro brought another one to my attention, for those who prefer their snow pr0n to be hard core.

Klein High School's Anti-Gay Crusade

Nice article at the Houston Press (pointed out to me by Hiro), about a lawsuit brought against Klein High School and the Klein Independent School District in Harris County, Texas, to get the school to allow formation of a club for gay and straight students to talk about discrimination. The school board, with the encouragement of right-thinking parents, intends to fight the suit. More detail available from the Houston Voice, the New York Times, and the Houston Chronicle.

Supreme Court to Hear Challenge to Texas Sodomy Law

The U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to hear an appeal of a conviction based on the Texas sodomy law, which criminalizes oral or anal sex, but only when the participants are members of the same sex.

Clinton Vindicated

Apparently Clinton's critical mistake was failing to be president of Taiwan. A group of sixty Taiwanese judges has met and concluded that oral sex is not sex, and does not constitute adultery.

I am reminded of the words of the late J. Edgar Hoover: "I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce."

Terrifica vs. Fantastico

I would have figured this story was completely fictional, but I dunno; ABC News? Anyway, do not miss the tale of Terrifica, a pretty New Yorker who puts on a red leotard and hits the city's bar and party scene, helping protect young, drunk women from the men who would take advantage of them. And then there's her arch-nemesis, a suave sexual predator who likes to wear velvet and calls himself "Fantastico." It just gets better and better.

Shaving Tips from Porn Stars

From the PassionVillage site, courtesy of Bundar's ecclectic web-browsing tastes, comes this timely entry: Hair-Removal Secrets of the Porn Stars. Stay informed with lies.com!

Woman Bites Husband to Death?

Denied sex, 45-year-old Modesto, Calif., resident Kelli Pratt allegedly held her husband down and bit him repeatedly. Now he's dead, she's in jail, and police are awaiting the outcome of toxicology tests to determine if they should file murder charges. Wacky.

Man Loses Fiancee, Ring, Court Case

So, if you hook up with some attractive sheila you met on the net, and decide you want to marry her, you might want to hold off on giving her that $12,000 engagement ring, at least until you know her a little better. Because your insurance company may disagree with your view that her subsequent change of heart amounts to a covered loss due to fraud.

Masturbate for Peace

from the we-don't-make-the-news;-we-just-report-it dept.

From Janus comes this festive URL: http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/.

Tanya Hadden Sentenced

from the love+bad-judgement=jail dept.

The schoolteacher who lit out for Vegas with her 15-year-old student has been sentenced. Sad story. She got a longish prison sentence, which the judge suspended and converted into six months in jail (which is almost done, counting time served since her arrest) plus 5 years' probation. So she'll be back on the street in a month or so - or would be, except that when she gets out of jail in Nevada she's probably going to be extradited to California, and tried again there. Good to see our criminal justice system is keeping on top of things, eh? I know I feel safer.

Condom Applied to Ancient British Carving

from the penises-of-the-gods dept.

The story itself isn't much; just some hokum about the British Family Planning Association putting a condom on a giant 3000-year-old rock carving of a club-wielding man with an erection, but it brings home to me how little I know about this big, wacky world we live on. Why did I never read about this sculpture in school? What other amazing things are the powers that be keeping me in the dark about?

Woman Sues Airline Over Vibrator Search

from the keeping-the-skies-safe dept.

More evidence that you don't mess with airline security these days. And general mayhem and buffoonery from all concerned.

Sex With Plush Toys

from the different-strokes dept.

a_stupid_box writes "I consider myself a rather learned man. Though I happen to be interested in very few sexual perversions (and yes, technically, oral sex is a "perversion"), I know the technical terms for and am aware of everything from sex involving machines to sex involving furniture. So why is it that sex involving plush animals surprised me? I don't know, maybe I'm going soft..." Clearly there's something wrong with the American education system, if it's turning out people who describe themselves as "rather learned" but who have never experienced alt.fan.furry.

Man Arrested for Licking Women's Feet

from the excuse-me-while-I...-mmm dept.

I think the title says as much about this as needs to be said.

Researchers Say Kids Need More Freedom To Explore Their Sexuality

from the cultural-revolution dept.

Again from the L.A. Times (cypherpunk/cypherpunk login works) comes a story that ties in recent headlines about child molestation (priests molesting young parishioners, teachers running off with students) with recent pronouncements from experts who argue that children are inherently sexual beings, and that society needs to back off from the blanket judgements that criminalize all sexual interactions between the nominally adult and the nominally otherwise. Interesting stuff.

My X-Lovers Wife is Lying on Me

from the what's-love-got-to-do-with-it? dept.

Another weird user submission just arrived over the lies.com transom. I've read this one through twice now, and still can't quite figure out who's lying to whom. But it's interesting, in a depressing kind of way, and features fairly good spelling, considering. And it's a lies.com original; the kind of stuff you can't find anywhere else. Except, um, talk radio, Usenet, Jerry Springer, and several thousand other journals of record of the dark side of life in these United States. But anyway. Follow the link, or scroll down, for the story.

Teacher Gets Probation For Affair With 13-Year-Old

from the lapse-in-judgement dept.

Pamela Diehl-Moore, a 43-year-old New Jersey teacher who pled guilty to sexual assault after she had a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old former student, has been sentenced to five years' probation. The judge is catching heat for his lenience from a Republican state senator; meanwhile, I'd have to think that lawyers for Tonya Hadden, the southern California teacher who was recently apprehended in Vegas with her own youthful Romeo, will be trying to figure out how they can take advantage of the ruling at her trial.

Hadden to Times: Relationship With Boy Not About Sex

from the love-makes-the-world-go-'round dept.

Providing another example of her extraordinarily bad judgement, soon-to-be-ex teacher Tanya Hadden gave a jailhouse interview to the L.A. Times yesterday. In the course of the interview she "scoffed" at news reports that she and Richard Pena, the 15-year-old with whom she ran off to Vegas, had been having sex, though she apparently stopped short of giving a denial more explicit than "that's so not what this is." Interesting stuff, in a depressing sort of way.

Painting Fuels Speculation That Shakespeare Was Gay

from the much-ado-about-not-a-hell-of-a-lot dept.

From Reuters comes this story of a 16th-century portrait, long believed to be of a British noblewoman, but now believed to show a foppish male friend and patron of William Shakespeare, leading London tabloids to speculate that The Bard was actually light in the loafers. Asked for comment on his supposed outing, Shakespeare would only say, "The course of true love never did run straight - er, smooth. Never did run smooth."

The Women of Maxim

from the no,-not-THOSE-women-of-Maxim dept.

From the Boston Globe comes this story about the women who work behind the scenes at men's magazine Maxim, giving the magazine a kinder, less-sexist side. Those interviewed claim that the resulting feminist influence is a key part of the magazine's success. Well, that, and the pictures of naked women.

Pneumatic Murder Victim

from the would-you-be-my,-be-my,-be-my-girl dept.

From The Scotsman comes this report of a police raid on the home of a Munich bachelor. His neighbors, it seems, had noticed him furtively carrying what appeared to be the body of a woman into his flat. The annoyed occupant got the cops to leave by showing them his extensive collection of inflatable sex dolls.

Real-Life Harold and Maude

from the January-December-romance dept.

Salon is carrying the story of Betty Dodson, a 72-year-old sexologist, and Eric Wilkinson, her 25-year-old lover. Lots of juicy details. Reminds me of Steve Martin's line from Roxanne, about the aliens coming to Earth to have sex with older women because "they [the older women] really know what they're doing."