October 31, 2002
Winona Day VI: Dressing Down
Today's outfit: Jeans, a long black coat, a dark jacket underneath, a white blouse, and a tourquoise pendant. Photos (and later, once I get a chance, commentary) available in the wiki's WinonaRyderOnTrial page.
October 30, 2002
Winona Day V: Whoa
Today's outfit is a fairly intense black dress with jaunty pastel accents. My first reaction was "femme fatale," but Madison (who, like Lucy, has actually been paying attention to clothes significantly longer than the last few days during which I've been paying attention to them) responded, "Actually, I think that's the 'I'm a harmless little girl in a sailor dress' look." The shoes don't exactly say either "little girl" or "sailor" to me, but I think I see her point. Anyway, in the interest of keeping the Winona entries under some semblance of control, I'm going to try to confine my further raving to the wiki's WinonaRyderOnTrial page.
People for Sale
Geov Parrish shines again, this time with an important, albeit disturbing, article about the 21st century's hot growth industry: the buying and selling of human beings. Isn't it neat being the world's sole superpower, able to spread our values of truth, justice, and liberty from sea to shining sea?
October 29, 2002
Winona Day IV: Green and Frumpy
Things took a turn for the worse in the second full day of the Winona Ryder trial, as the actress arrived in a really yucky-looking green thing (dress? coat? hard to tell, or care, honestly). Photo coverage is pretty sparse so far (for which I guess we should actually be grateful), though it does look like she's sporting yet another jarringly mismatched purse, if the strap and possibly-associated white and brown fringed thing visible in this photo mean what I think they do. Excuse me; I think I'm going to have to go lie down. Update: Speculation runs wild on the question of whether the first image above shows a worn collar edge (the hint of white along the right collar). And now, a newly released photo seems to show the same thing on the left collar. Lies.com fashion correspondent Lucy, in looking at the second photo, says, "I'm more inclined to think it's some decorative edging that's reflecting the flash, instead of a worn edge." I really hope she's right. If not, I have serious doubts about whether Winona's legal team will be able to recover. Later: We've got good news and bad news, people. The good news is that I was wrong about that white and brown fringed thing under Attorney Mark Geragos' arm; whatever it was, it wasn't Winona's purse. The bad news is that the purse she actually brought today is even worse than I imagined. Is there still time for a plea bargain? Still later: She looks better after the lunch break, with her coat unbuttoned to reveal a dark blouse underneath. And is that even the same purse? Last update, I promise: In my shock at today's outfit, I totally forgot to mention that it's Winona's birthday today. Happy 31st from lies.com! And in terms of the actual trial, about all that happened today, apparently, was that the Saks security supervisor narrated a video showing her walking around the store picking out clothes.
October 28, 2002
Shaving Tips from Porn Stars
From the PassionVillage site, courtesy of Bundar's ecclectic web-browsing tastes, comes this timely entry: Hair-Removal Secrets of the Porn Stars. Stay informed with lies.com!
Day III: Winona in Black
Day III of the Winona Ryder trial opened with a bang, as the defendant arrived in a dramatic black dress (I think; these through-the-glass shots they're limiting the paparazzi to leave something to be desired). The see-through factor was unfortunate; she may have received inadequate legal advice on the effect of high-powered flash photography in combination with a white bra. She's still got a big, ugly purse, but it's a different big ugly purse, thankfully. The headband was a nice touch, I think. No word yet on the less-important details, like opening statements. Update: Opening statements are done; the prosecution makes it out as theft, plain and simple. The defense paints a more interesting picture, in which security guards overstep the bounds of their authority because they were (naturally) gaga at being in Winona's celebrity presence. Later: In late testimony Monday, Saks security manager Kenneth Evans said Winona claimed to have been preparing for a role when she was confronted about her shoplifting. The defense objected, saying the allegation hadn't surfaced in any previous statements by the prosecution, but they were overruled.
October 27, 2002
John Balzar Beats the Drum (Ambiguously) for War
I'm not sure why I still link to the L.A. Times web site, since it sucks so severely in so many ways, including that it requires a "free" login (all it will cost is your soul; use cypherpunk98/cypherpunk in the meantime), and that it routinely moves things around to break inbound links more than a few days old. But, unfortunately, it's the web site for the dead-tree news source I get every day, and when I come across something cool in its pages that I can't find anywhere else, I have to link to it. (Hmm. Or I could just steal it, and post it here. Have to think about that.) So, anyway: John Balzar has an interesting op-ed piece there where he talks about Conrad's Heart of Darkness, and the ambiguity of evil. I disagree with his conclusion, in which he gives dubya props for pursuing military brinksmanship as a way of achieving Good in a murky world, but I still like that someone is talking about ambiguity.
Parrish, Huffington On Wellstone
Geov Parrish and Arianna Huffington each do a nice job of summing up why Paul Wellstone is being warmly eulogized by people across the political spectrum: Because, in a country where politicians have become uniformly timid, unwilling to take any position without first measuring its effect on likely voters, Wellstone was different. Here's Parrish's version, and here's the one from Huffington (who, interestingly, Janus confessed the other day that he really wants to be when he grows up).
October 26, 2002
Winona, Day II
The jury for Winona Ryder's shoplifting trial was sworn in yesterday. Confirming the adage that you can't throw a rock in L.A. without hitting a film producer, the Beverly Hills jury will include Peter Guber, former chairman of Sony Entertainment Pictures. The 8-woman, 4-man jury also includes a woman who is a legal secretary with Sony Pictures and a man who works in TV program development. Winona wore a blue full-length jacket, red pumps, and carried the same god-awful purse she had on Day I. I wonder if the purse is meant to work in her favor with the jury: See? Winona always carries a big, ugly handbag. It doesn't mean she's planning to shoplift. If that's the angle the defense is working, I guess I have to accept it, but it will really be a shame if they feel they have to continue it for the entire trial. Accessories matter, dammit.
Florida GOP Accuses Democrat of Lawsuit He Wasn't Involved With
Ah, the closing days of campaign season, when the stakes go up and the risks of getting caught in a lie, or of suffering any significant consequences if you do, go down. A nice example (also courtesy of fark.com) is that of the Florida Republican Party, which recently sent an attack mailer to voters in the state's 27th senate district, urging them to vote against Democrat Dave Aronberg because of a lawsuit he had previously brought against the Palm Beach County school system. Except it turns out that the suit was brought by a different Dave Aronberg, Dave T. Aronberg, not the Dave A. Aronberg who's running for state senate. The Republican candidate, Frank Mann, and the state GOP chairman say they're really sorry, and promise they'll do their best to get in touch with the estimated 50,000 people who received the ad, so they can explain about their mistake.
Pravda: Bush Offers Putin $10 Billion in Return for a Free Hand with Saddam
As always, an enjoyable mixture of fact and fancy from the folks at Pravda, as they explain how Dubya is trying to bribe Putin into supporting the U.S. campaign to get rid of Saddam and take control of the Iraqi oil fields. Courtesy of fark.com.
Norm Coleman: Candidate of Destiny
So, Norm Coleman is getting all kinds of help these days. First, a well-heeled national Republican PAC calling itself Americans for Job Security has swooped in to spend $1 million on an advertising blitz over the last two weeks of the Minnesota Senate race, which will be more money than any of the other main participants (the Wellstone and Coleman campaigns, and the state Democratic and Republican parties) had been planning on spending. And now, of course, Coleman's opponent has died in a plane crash, just 11 days before the election. (The conspiracy theorist in me is really interested in what the NTSB has to say about the cause of the crash.) And since the tragedy also included the deaths of Wellstone's wife, daughter, and top aides, it makes it hard for the Democrats to mount a sympathy campaign like the one that carried widow Jean Carnahan to victory over John Ashcroft two years ago in Missouri.
October 25, 2002
Buy Bush a Playstation
As I sat pondering the President's motives one day, it suddenly dawned on me that it is entirely likely our Commander in Chief has never played a single video game in his life. "Of course!" I exclaimed, startling my girlfriend, who was driving at the time. "Without the catharsis that video games provide, Bush has no way of fulfilling his militaristic fantasies other than actually fighting wars."
White Couple Popular with Black Friends
From plastic.com (he says), courtesy of Janus, comes this nice little web site showing that America really is making progress with its race problem: Black People Love Us! Thanks, black people!
Miranda Otto TTT Poster
Prepare yourself for a long, grueling season of obsessive fanboy postings about what will become, as of December 18, the Greatest Movie of All Time. To get things going, let's take a look at this leaked Taiwanese (?) poster showing Miranda Otto as Eowyn, shall we? Sigh.
Dog Shoots Man
Adding still more weight to the argument that our culture's obsession with gun violence is causing a self-perpetuating cycle, an otherwise-normal year-old English setter shot his owner last Saturday. When will the madness end?
October 24, 2002
Coverage of the Coverage of the Coverage of the D.C. Sniper
Just so I don't neglect my journalistic duties completely, here's a link to an article describing a forum in which D.C.-area newspaper editors talk about what they did and didn't run as the sniper story evolved. The article also includes some finger-pointing at CNN over its role in promoting both fear and ratings with its handling of the story.
Winona Trial Begins Today
It's jury-selection day in the Winona Ryder trial, though I haven't been able to find out what she's wearing yet. With the F.B.I. reporting that they believe they have the D.C. sniper in custody, though, hopefully we'll be able to get more detail soon. (I did come across this story about Christina Aguilera piercing her private parts, at least. Thank God the media are getting back to covering real news.) Update: Looks like a fairly restrained floral-print dress with pink sweater. Later: From Lucy, a better photo. Check out the shoes. But that shoulder bag? I dunno; I realize she needs to appeal to jurors by dressing down a bit, but it seems like a little much to me.
Steve Bing Still a Wanker
See if you can follow. American real-estate heir and film producer Steve Bing initially made headlines by asserting that Elizabeth Hurley's baby wasn't his. (Subsequent DNA tests proved him wrong.) Among the negative publicity he received at the time was a story in the Daily Mirror that gave Bing's phone number and encouraged readers to call him. Bing sued the tabloid, the tabloid settled, and one of the terms of the settlement was that the paper had to run an apology. Bing's lawyers wrote the apology, the paper ran it verbatim, and Bing issued a statement saying he was "delighted." But now he's changed his mind, and says he may revive the suit. Why? Because he apparently has figured out that the overly effusive way the paper apologized (e.g., under a front-page headline stating, "A humble and sincere apology to Mr. Steve Bing, philanthropist & humanitarian") was actually intended as sarcasm.
October 23, 2002
More IE Flaws; MSFT Trades Charges with Security Vendor
Ho hum; another day, another revelation of crippling security flaws in Internet Explorer. This particular story is fun because of the back and forth it contains between the consultants who discovered the problem, and the MSFT flack who calls them irresponsible for telling people about it. "The most effective way to ensure the safety of the greatest number of Microsoft customers is to discuss security vulnerabilities only after users can be offered remediation," says Microsoft spokesperson Rick Miller. Actually, I'd think the most effective way to ensure those users' safety would be for them to switch to OS X or Linux.
October 22, 2002
Bid on Elvis' Hair
It seems that Elvis Presley's personal hair stylist of 20 years collected the King's clippings, then recently gave them to a friend. Said friend is now auctioning the hair (along with "letters of authenticity from hair-collecting experts"). The starting bid is set at $10,000; no word on whether we can expect future auctions of the King's toenail clippings, earwax, or navel lint, but a fan can always hope.
Fox News Solicits Expert Insights on D.C. Sniper from Berkowitz
Lending support to Michael Moore's thesis that our news-as-entertainment industry is feeding into the cycle of gun violence, Fox News has solicited the thoughts of convicted "Son of Sam" killer David Berkowitz on the D.C. sniper, and is running Berkowitz' analysis of the sniper's possible thinking and motivations. I wonder, seriously, how many TV producers are currently working on incorporating the serial-killer angle into a reality-show format.
October 21, 2002
The Telemarketer Counter Script
I love this. From Hiro, a must-have tool for those tired of working at a disadvantage in dealing with pushy telemarketers: the anti-telemarketing counterscript.
Parrish: U.S. Could Lose War to Iraq
Working for Change's Geov Parrish presents an interesting explanation for the Bush administration's sudden backing away from its plans for a single-handed invasion of Iraq: the Pentagon's conclusion that the U.S. would probably lose the war.
October 19, 2002
Another MSFT "Testimonial" Pulled
As part of its ongoing mission to remake itself as a leader in "trustworthy computing," Microsoft has removed yet another mock testimonial from its web site; in this one a 12-year-old gushes about how Encarta helped him write a report on A Tale of Two Cities. See the Register for a funny review and an archived screenshot.
Dubya on the Campaign Trail
The C-Student-in-Chief is on a whirlwind tour of tight Senate races, looking to turn that pesky 1-seat Republican minority into a majority. One key matchup is Missouri, where the GOP would love to erase the stigma of John Ashcroft's defeat by a dead man two years ago. Another is Minnesota, where Republican challenger Norm Coleman is trying to make a name for himself as something more than the person who was defeated in the governor's race by a professional wrestler. Mindful of his domestic baggage, Bush used today's radio address to sympathize with the common man ("the economy is not as good as we'd like it to be") while promising vigorous new steps to protect workers' 401(k) savings, just as soon as he gets a Senate he can work with.
Congress Goes Home Pissy
Congressional leaders, sensing that voters may be looking to punish someone for various failures at home and abroad, ended their session yesterday with a round of finger-pointing. Senate majority leader Tom Daschle gave an angry speech blaming dubya; House majority leader Dick Armey responded by comparing the Senate's record unfavorably to that of al Queda, which he said has been able to re-organize itself because "it doesn't have a Senator Daschle."
Child Abuse by Movie
James Scott Bell describes seeing a 6-year-old girl brutalized (cypherpunk98/cypherpunk login required) by her parents, who had dragged her along when they went to see the movie "Red Dragon." Having seen a fair amount of this lately myself, I'm in complete agreement with him about how disturbing it is. These parents are doing this to their kids in public; who knows what they're doing to them in private.
October 18, 2002
Man Violates Parole with Beer-Keg Baby
Canadians, Part II: Chynne Harley Kahnapace of Regina, Canada, has pleaded guilty to a parole violation involving pushing a baby stroller containing a keg of beer. Oh, Canada.
Would-Be Streaker Knocks Self Cold at Flames Game
While we're talking about Canadians, how about this: A fan at a Flames/Bruins hockey game apparently wanted to scamper naked around the rink -- but in climbing over the glass he tripped and knocked himself unconscious instead.
See? We haven't abandoned Afghanistan!
The US army has been alleviating the harsh aftereffects of war, engaging in altruistic nation-building... by handing out weapons to local "warlords." I can only hope that we display similarly keen insight into our nation-building in Iraq, North Korea, Pakistan, and France.
Woman Bites Husband to Death?
Denied sex, 45-year-old Modesto, Calif., resident Kelli Pratt allegedly held her husband down and bit him repeatedly. Now he's dead, she's in jail, and police are awaiting the outcome of toxicology tests to determine if they should file murder charges. Wacky.
Dennis Cleary's Family Baggage
If you haven't seen it yet, check out CNN's coverage of the Dennis Cleary campaign story. Cleary is a Republican running for re-election in the Connecticut state legislature, which is nothing special, but his family has taken out newspaper ads accusing him of being self-serving and corrupt, and encouraging people to vote for his Democratic rival. Ah, election season. I really miss this stuff when it's not around.
The Homeland Security Store
From Hiro comes a link to the CNN story on Safer America, a high-touch retail outlet where you can buy designer gas masks, hazmat booties, and parachutes for jumping out of high-rises. Sort of a Sharper Image for the paranoid.
October 17, 2002
North Korean Nukes a Problem for Dubya Policy
From The Scotsman comes an interesting analysis of the history of the United States' actions with respect to North Korea's nuclear arms program. With the admission by the North Koreans this week that they've been blowing off the agreement they'd previously entered into not to be naughty in this particular way, it puts dubya on the spot. Aren't actual North Korean nukes (along with the missiles to deliver them) a more urgent problem than hypothetical future Iraqi nukes? Unless, of course, the fact that Iraq is sitting on 20% of the world's petroleum supply is part of the equation.
'Performa' Condom Makes a Splash
The mad scientists at Durex have come up with a sure-fire winner: a condom laced with Benzocaine that anesthetizes the tip of the wearer's penis, prolonging sex. Though hitherto available only via the company's web site, the chic sheaths are reportedly outselling the firm's other offerings 5-to-1.
Eve Hibbits Cleared of Charges
Eve Hibbits, the mother of three who was charged with felony child endangerment and jailed for eight days last August when her kids were seen with sunburned faces at an Ohio county fair, has been cleared of all charges. As someone who thought the original charges and jail term were pretty excessive, I guess I'm happy to see that, though the reality is that I have a hard time caring much either way. Still, I'm linking to the story because I think her mugshot is funny (and scary).
Bushes Face Trouble in Florida
Our current ruling dynasty is having a rough week of it down in Florida. Governor Jeb's re-election campaign is struggling, with a new poll showing him in a stastical dead heat with little-known Democratic challenger Bill McBride. Mindful of the importance of keeping Florida's notoriously malleable electoral college votes under Republican control, big brother is flying down today to give a whip-'em-up campaign speech on education, but he'll be competing for column inches with First Niece Noelle, who was sentenced today to 10 days in jail for impersonating a crack ho.
October 16, 2002
Get Your War On Shines Again
Not really news, but the mention of Operation Enduring Freedom reminded me that I hadn't linked yet to the truly excellent latest installment of Get Your War On. I was actually confused for a minute while reading this one; like Bill Murray's character in Groundhog Day, I was saying to myself, "whoops; someone accidentally re-ran the first-ever strip here." Then it hit me what he was doing. Awesome stuff.
War on Terra Trailer Screened in Theaters
In another cool example of Your Tax Dollars At Work, the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps have apparently contracted with a film production company to create a four-minute movie on Operation Enduring Freedom, with the film being shown in movie-houses nationwide before the regular feature. One mom reportedly complained about her kids seeing war footage before the G-rated Veggie-Tales movie, but she just sounds like a whiner. Can't start kids too early on learning to reflexively fall into line whenever the government decides it wants to kill people overseas, is my attitude.
Winona Ordered to Appear in Court Today
Judge Elden Fox has ordered Winona Ryder to appear in court today, after an unspecified "unusual circumstance" prevented the actress from showing up yesterday, thereby delaying her trial yet again. Among the things we can look forward to today are the official dismissal of the drug-possession charges, and the replacement of the stock photos from her last appearance with a new round of pics. What will she be wearing?? Update: A really stunning ivory dress/jacket combo, with matching handbag, it turns out. Drug charges dropped, trial to start Oct. 24.
Saddam Gets Perfect Score
Thumbing his nose at didn't-even-get-the-MOST-votes dubya, Iraq's Saddam Hussein is trumpeting the results of Iraq's latest presidential referendum, in which the dictator received an impressive 100% of votes cast by eligible voters, confirming his tenure for another 7-year term. Why can't we have a leader who enjoys that kind of support?
October 15, 2002
Followup on the Faux "Switch" Story from MSFT
I guess I need to get my head in the trough on this one, even though it's done and over and has been slashdotted and everything. But it's a big lie, and deserves some coverage in the liars' journal of record. So, head on over to Daring Fireball, and read John Gruber's take on Microsoft's strange decision to run a made-up version of the Apple Switch ads.
Iceland Rejoins IWC, Announces Resumption of Whaling
A day after squeaking back into official membership at the International Whaling Commission, Iceland has announced that it will resume whaling. Fisheries Minister Arni Mathiesen was quoted as saying, "We will only whale in accordance with solid scientific information, and to ensure sustainable development in the oceans surrounding us," which I was going to doctor up into something more ludicrous-sounding, until I realized his original statement was already there.
Duct Tape Good for Wart Removal
From Reuters comes news that the U.S. Army has discovered a new use for duct tape: wart removal. See? Who says military spending doesn't spin off significant civilian benefits.
Man Loses Fiancee, Ring, Court Case
So, if you hook up with some attractive sheila you met on the net, and decide you want to marry her, you might want to hold off on giving her that $12,000 engagement ring, at least until you know her a little better. Because your insurance company may disagree with your view that her subsequent change of heart amounts to a covered loss due to fraud.
Lies.com Now Movably Typed
I've driven a stake through the heart of slash, and resurrected the site as a Movable Type-based blog. I love MT. Everyone should be forced to run out and grab a copy right now. You'll note that I've retained the slash-era stories (though not their comments). If you were an author on the old site (you know who you are) I've recreated your author status under MT, but you'll need to contact me for your initial login credentials. Anyway, please start hammering on the site, and let me know about any problems you encounter, or any suggestions you have for improving it. Thanks.
October 11, 2002
Dubya the Poet
from the yeah,-he-really-said-it dept.
The good folks over at Guardian Unlimited are running a poem compiled from actual dubya quotations. Fun stuff. Thanks to Janus, as usual, for making my day less crushingly depressing than it otherwise would have been. Well, differently crushingly depressing.
October 10, 2002
Simon Twists in the Wind Over Photo Flap
from the lying-is-one-thing;-looking-like-an-idiot-is-another dept.
For those of you fortunate enough not to have been following the California governor's race, we're heading into the home stretch of a contest between Democrat incumbent Gray Davis and his Republican challenger, a political tyro named Bill Simon. Simon is making headlines in the wake of Monday's debate between the two candidates, but not the kind he was looking for. In the debate, Simon accused Davis of having accepted campaign contributions in his state capitol offices while he was Lt. Governor, which would have been a crime. Davis denied the charge. Afterward, Simon showed reporters a photograph that he said showed Davis accepting a contribution check in his offices -- except that reporters know what those offices look like, and the photo clearly wasn't taken there. Oops. Now Simon is backpedaling, and refusing interviews, and Davis has called for him to resign from the race. Ouch.
Prosecutor Asks That Winona Drug Charges Be Dropped
from the all-winona,-all-the-time dept.
Winona Ryder got some good news yesterday, when prosecutors in her shoplifting-cum-painkiller-possession trial requested that drug-possession charges be dropped. Seems a witness supplied an affidavit that showed Winona actually had a prescription, or thought it was okay for her to possess the drugs, or something. So, does this mean the prosecutors were basically blowing smoke before? Methinks the whole "railroading" theory gets a boost from this. But I'm fairly biased, since I think she's cute. Of course, this is nothing like the bias I'd display if they ever tried to charge Janie Porche with something. Sigh. Janie...
October 09, 2002
Escher's "Ascending and Descending" in LEGO
from the making-the-unreal-real dept.
From Janus (as usual) comes a link that gives a nice perspective on the nature of truth: the realization of M.C. Escher's Ascending and Descending in LEGO blocks. Cool.
October 08, 2002
Voices Opposed to War
from the deep-breath-before-the-plunge dept.
Janus sent this nice URL my way: tompaine.com's compendium of op-ed pieces pointing out the potential downside of the latest rush to war.
October 07, 2002
Condemned Prisoners Forced Offline by Arizona Law
from the cruel-and-unusual dept.
Janus pointed out this story at workingforchange.com: Death row unplugged. Can't have those condemned criminals speaking to the outside world, now can we? We might get infected, or something.
Lies.com To Be De-Slash-i-fied?
from the ch-ch-ch-ch-changes dept.
For various reasons, I'm giving serious thought to converting lies.com to run solely as a wiki, rather than a slash site. Feel free to weigh in with your opinions, either by replying to this story or by editing the wiki page linked to above.
October 05, 2002
Best Dubya Photo?
from the goofball-images-legacy dept.
From Reuters, via Yahoo, comes the latest in a continuing series of photographs showing the U.S. President at his finest.
October 03, 2002
Onion: Bush Seeks U.N. Support for Whatever U.S. Wants
from the thank-god-for-the-onion dept.
Janus took time out from his busy day to proclaim this the best Onion article ever: Bush Seeks U.N. Support for 'U.S. Does Whatever It Wants' Plan. While I think I still prefer the God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule piece in their classic 9/11 issue, this latest one certainly ranks right up there.
