July 31, 2002

Blood Curse

from the terms-of-psychic-warfare dept.

Angelina Jolie reportedly wants the vial of blood she gave former husband Billy Bob Thorton back, seems she's afraid of a curse being put on her. Underneath the thing about K-19.

Posted by at 07:36 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Christian Sects Battle Over Jerusalem Church

from the onward-Christian-soldiers dept.

I think we've fallen somewhat away from the core of Christ's original message.

Posted by jbc at 01:05 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 30, 2002

A River Runs Under It

from the lost-world dept.

Indian satellites have discovered the mythical river Saraswati,which flows under the Thar desert in Rajasthan. The river is mentioned in the Rig Veda and is believed to have flowed parallel to the Indus.

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July 29, 2002

Boeing Vs. Gravity

from the up-up-and-away dept.

Boeing is examining the work of controversial Russian scientist Yevgeny Podkletnov who claims to have developed an anti-gravity process. While his claims are not taken seriously by many in the scientific community if an aerospace giant like Boeing is looking into his claims, maybe there's something to it.

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July 27, 2002

Woman Sues Airline Over Vibrator Search

from the keeping-the-skies-safe dept.

More evidence that you don't mess with airline security these days. And general mayhem and buffoonery from all concerned.

Posted by jbc at 07:53 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 26, 2002

Decline in Nudism=Decline in Tourism

from the show-us-your-tits dept.

A decline in nude sunbathing in Munich's English Garden is resulting in a serious decline in tourism to the city. "Society has become more prudish. You don't see as many attractive young Munich girls anymore. I hope they'll come back." said the park director. Remember, in real life naked people are ugly, the only place where you can see attractive naked people is in porn.

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July 25, 2002

Muppets and NASCAR

from the UPS-moves-in-strange-ways dept.

I have to wonder what the anticipated market is for Muppet Show / NASCAR merchandise. Rednecks with a sense of humor? Nostalgics who love the truck?

Posted by ymatt at 10:58 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Everquest Universe Increasingly Silly

from the like-the-DMV-with-dwarves dept.

I spend a lot of time online. I've been known to get into fantasy worlds from time to time. I spend a pretty inordinate amount of time on a particular MUD. But even I have a lot of trouble believing players of Everquest camping out for several days to kill some dragon like ladies lined up outside Mervyns on sale day morning.

Posted by ymatt at 05:22 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 24, 2002

Pam Anderson Plans Hepatitis Treatment

from the another-thing-tommy-lee-gave-her dept.

Pammy's sick! She claims rocker Tommy Lee gave her hepatits C when they shared a tattoo needle.

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July 23, 2002

Sharon Hails "Great Success" in Gaza Bombing Raid

from the hey-man,-nice-shot dept.

In the wake of a midnight Israeli bombing run on a crowded Gaza Strip residential neighborhood, Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon proclaimed the attack a resounding success. "This operation was in my view one of our biggest successes," said Sharon. "While scrupulously limiting ourselves to a legitimate military target, we still managed to achieve a civilian casualty rate of 14:1. Those are better numbers even than some suicide bombers achieve. I can't tell you how proud that makes me feel."

Posted by jbc at 01:56 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Steve Earle's "John Walker's Blues" Riles Country Fans

from the yee-hah dept.

Maverick country star Steve Earle has recorded a song in honor of "American Taliban" John Walker Lindh. Titled "John Walker's Blues," the tune compares Lindh to Jesus, speaks favorably of Islam's teachings, and generally goes out of its way to annoy the hell out of the conservative country music mainstream. Cool.

Posted by jbc at 12:35 AM | view/comment (26) | TrackBack (0)

July 19, 2002

James Traficant Is Gonna Whack All Youse

from the gastric-emissions-on-the-Richter-scale dept.

This being Lies.com and all, something should probably be said about James Traficant. He's made a number of truly colorful statements before Congress recently. This almost makes me feel good that we still occasionally elect old-style corrupt organized crime type guys instead of just your average corporate lackey white dudes.

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Gamespot Spyware

from the they-know-who-you-are dept.

Gamespot's Download Manager hides spyware, DRM.

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July 18, 2002

Sci-Fi Tax

from the to-boldy-go dept.

A proposed tax on science fiction books, science fiction comic books, space sciences books and any other space-related literature as well as sci-fi toys and whatnot to fund NASA. To infinity and beyond!

Posted by at 11:22 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)


from the dear-god-why? dept.

Due to the lack of anything better to do, some fools are trying to make Linux run on the Xbox, even better is the fool who is offering a $200,000 prize for doing so. If there wasn't a good reason before I guess there is one now.

Posted by at 10:29 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Urban Street Games For The Uninitiated

from the hit-the-stick dept.

For those of you who didn't grow up in the inner city a few decades ago or never had the opportunity to be an underprivileged kid, now you can print out complete rulesheets for various street games -- offered as pdf's for the highest quality output even. The site also has various news items from the street games world such as inductees into the illustrious Stickball Hall of Fame.

Posted by ymatt at 10:16 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

But What About the Vial of Blood?

from the i.told.you.so dept.

Maybe it was that bad country album, or maybe it was the strain of being married to someone named Billy Bob, who knows?

Posted by at 10:06 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Relax: Swarthy Furriners Under Control

from the well,-*I*-feel-better-now dept.

Fighter jets were called out to escort an ATA flight into La Guardia Tuesday night when some passengers performed the aggressive acts of having dark skin, speaking an unrecognized language, and pointing excitedly at several tall buildings. The police questioned them for several hours before establishing that they were Hindus rather than Muslims, and could therefore be safely set loose. Said one far-too-forgiving victim: "America is good country, and I understand people are afraid of people who look different."

Posted by onan at 09:18 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Parents Lying To Their Kids About Pot

from the good-luck,-Diogenes dept.

Silly-ass N.Y. Times login required (cypherpunk98/cypherpunk works, among others), but the story is too good to pass up: Boomers' Little Secret Still Smokes Up the Closet, in which we learn of the heartbreak of parents who want to go along with the Just Say No message being taught to their kids in school, while still sparking up the occasional doob. Gee, daddy, what is that smell on your clothes?

Posted by jbc at 07:31 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Britney Starves Self, Blacks Out

from the wow.-just-like-Gandhi. dept.

Desperate to shed the pounds she's packed on since breaking up with Justin, Britney Spears has apparently been on a veggies-and-water diet recently, causing her to collapse after a recent concert. Eat something, Britney! I don't want your death on my conscience!

Posted by jbc at 07:23 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

Baywatch Star Wears Lettuce to Protest Animal Cruelty

from the better-publicity-through-silicone dept.

Ex-Baywatch actress Tracy Bingham is putting her augmentation on the line to help animals and promote vegetarianism. Specifically, she wore a bikini made of lettuce at a Paris protest yesterday, then attempted to enter a restaurant to inquire about their vegetarian dining options, only to be turned away at the door for her "inappropriate attire."

Posted by jbc at 04:46 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Game Maker To Advertise On Tombstones

from the ashes-to-ashes,-dust-to...-wait!-NOW-how-much-would-you-pay? dept.

From Guardian Unlimited comes this troubling sign that we are entering the end times: console game company Acclaim Entertainment is seeking to place advertising on tombstones for its new ShadowMan 2 game.

Posted by jbc at 04:40 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Kinda like Bushisms, only not...

from the onomatopoeia dept.

Yahoo Admits Changing E-Mail Text to Block Hackers

"Evaluate," then, becomes, "reviewuate." Simple!

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July 16, 2002

Russians embrace Nazism

from the red.menace dept.

Forgetting the fun that gramps had in the Great Patriotic War, racism with Nazi trappings is on the rise in Russia. Panzers vorwarts!

Posted by at 08:11 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Anti-terror strategy

from the the-empire-strikes-back dept.

President Bush on Tuesday proposed a strategy to protect America from terrorism that includes using the U.S. military to enforce quarantines during a biological attack and "red teams" of agents thinking like terrorists to pinpoint weaknesses.
"Protecting Americans from attack is our most urgent national priority and we must act on the priority," Bush said.

Posted by at 04:12 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Muppets with AIDS

from the innocence-completely-lost dept.

"This character will be fully a part of the community," Schneider said. "She will have high self-esteem. Women are often stigmatized about HIV and we are providing a good role model as to how to deal with one's situation and how to interact with the community."
Name and color have not yet been decided.

Posted by at 03:48 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 12, 2002

Michael Jackson Really Hates Porn

from the I-refuse-to-call-him-the-king-of-pop dept.

In our continuing effort to pin down the priorities of Michael Jackson, we have learned he hates porn more than he cares for 9-11 victims. Michael -- he's always looking out for the children.

Posted by ymatt at 10:22 AM | view/comment (6) | TrackBack (0)

Cow Dung is the New Snake Oil

from the selling-actual-bullshit dept.

Apparently cattle excrement can cure cancer, tuberculosis, and AIDS according to some guys in Calcutta selling it in bottles. I guess if you have an illness that serious, you're too weak to gather your own.

Posted by ymatt at 09:16 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

July 11, 2002

Reaction to Dubya's Business-Ethics Speech

from the what-is-the-sound-of-one-hand-clapping? dept.

The Independent has one of the more scathing summaries of the lukewarm response to dubya's let's-get-tough-on-CEOs speech, as part of a story about Cheney's being sued over his own Halliburton shenanigans. Methinks the chickens may well be coming home to roost on this one come the midterms.

Posted by jbc at 03:39 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Sex With Plush Toys

from the different-strokes dept.

a_stupid_box writes "I consider myself a rather learned man. Though I happen to be interested in very few sexual perversions (and yes, technically, oral sex is a "perversion"), I know the technical terms for and am aware of everything from sex involving machines to sex involving furniture. So why is it that sex involving plush animals surprised me? I don't know, maybe I'm going soft..." Clearly there's something wrong with the American education system, if it's turning out people who describe themselves as "rather learned" but who have never experienced alt.fan.furry.

Posted by jbc at 02:33 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Topless Carwash

from the famous-potatos dept.

Some college girls short of rent money in Moscow, Idaho have taken to washing cars sans shirts. Business is booming, but civic leaders are frantically trying to figure out how to outlaw the practice without writing a law that discriminates against women. Good luck.

Posted by jbc at 01:31 AM | view/comment (5) | TrackBack (0)

July 10, 2002

The Gaping Maw's Big Book of Sign Language

from the you,-too,-can-talk-with-the-deaf dept.

From the Gaping Maw, likewise via Janus, comes this handy how-to for communicating via sign language. Useful!

Posted by jbc at 07:54 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Passenger Removed for Pilot-Sobriety Joke

from the don't-mess-with-the-airlines dept.

Janus brought this one to my attention: A story about a woman passenger who was removed from an America West flight after she jokingly questioned whether the pilots had been checked for drunkenness. "We take any comment regarding safety seriously," explained America West spokesperson Patty Nowack. "Also, as I think everyone is well aware by now, our air crews, just like those of other airlines, are pretty much ready to snap at any moment. Humor has no place in that environment."

Posted by jbc at 07:43 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Anna Nicole Show

from the plus-size-entertainment dept.

Uber-widow Anna Nicole Smith is coming to the small screen in August, when E! will begin airing an Osbournes-esque reality show that follows the misadventures of Ms. Smith, her poodle, and various hangers-on.

Posted by jbc at 07:34 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 09, 2002

Dubya: Business Accounting Rules Not Always Black and White

from the moral-clarity dept.

Speaking to reporters yesterday, dubya evoked memories of his predecessor in office with evasive responses regarding his history of shady business dealings. At one point reporters actually laughed out loud when Bush said, "In the corporate world, sometimes things
aren't exactly black and white when it comes to accounting procedures." The leader of the free world reportedly responded with an icy glare. Sweet. More on the story, as part of the run-up to dubya's big Wall Street speech today: Robert A. George, Robert Scheer (L.A. Times cypherpunk/cypherpunk login required), and a really funny whistling-past-the-graveyard editorial from the National Review's Larry Kudlow.

Posted by jbc at 02:19 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 06, 2002

Accused Child Molester Crucified on Cactus

from the don't-mess-with-Mexico dept.

From the Arizona Republic comes the story of Mark Adam Younglove, who apparently took his last name a little too seriously and engaged in sexual abuse of some neighbor kids in Chandler, AZ. Confronted by the kids' parents, Younglove took off three years ago, and was eventually indicted in absentia and listed on various most-wanted posters. Now his bad karma seems to have caught up with him; on June 23 he was found beaten comatose and impaled on a cactus in Empalme, Mexico. Ay, caramba!

Posted by jbc at 11:11 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

'Water Closet' Game Reviewed

from the be-afraid.-be-very-afraid. dept.

Here at lies.com I like nothing better than probing the wacky side of various nations' national character; in the past I've pointed out Brits being eminently British, and Americans being quintessentially American. Now it's the turn of our good friends in Japan, who apparently lead the world in obsession with bodily functions, as evidenced by this SomethingAwful review (pointed out to me by Raja) of a computer game called Water Closet.

Posted by jbc at 05:23 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Bing Drops 'Invasion of Privacy' Suit Against Kerkorian

from the what-a-putz dept.

You may recall Steve Bing, the Hollywood producer who went to court to show he wasn't the biological father of Elizabeth Hurley's baby. (Turns out he actually was the baby's dad, unfortunately for said baby.) Well, his name crossed my radar again, this time in connection with his dropping of a lawsuit he'd brought against MGM studio mogul Kirk Kerkorian, who Bing accused of invading his privacy by digging through his trash to find a sample of dental floss, with the accompanying biological material to have been used to establish that Bing, not Kerkorian, was the biological father of the 4-year-old daughter of Kerkorian's ex-wife. Do I detect a pattern here? Sheesh; what a wanker.

Posted by jbc at 05:14 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 04, 2002

Man Spears Self In Head, Survives

from the oops dept.

Hiro sent me this one, from CNN, about an unnamed 20-year-old Greek man who apparently speared himself in the head while diving off Crete, then floated in the water for several hours before being discovered. Doctors removed the spear, which had passed through an "unused" area of his brain, during a three-hour operation; the man is apparently doing fine.

Posted by jbc at 08:32 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Goat Born With Dale Earnhardt's Number

from the endtimes-are-upon-us dept.

jonw writes "The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports that: A 4-month-old goat with a curious birthmark has fans of the late NASCAR star Dale Earnhardt flocking to a north Florida farm. The brown Nubian goat, named Lil' Dale, was born with a distinctive white three -- Earnhardt's number -- on her right side. "It's weird," owner Jerry Pierson said. "I've seen people take pictures and get tears in their eyes.""

Posted by jbc at 08:18 AM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

Copyright Dispute Over " . . . "

from the hello-darkness-my-old-friend dept.

hossman writes "As seen on slashdot: In this story reported at The Independent is "one of the more curious copyright disputes of modern times." It appears that the key question is "which part of the silence was stolen."" jbc: So, I'm back from my several-day sojourn playing around with non-lies.com stuff. Here's the first of two backlogged article submissions from helpful readers.

Posted by jbc at 08:14 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)