June 27, 2002

Congress Up In Arms Over Pledge Ruling

from the one-nation,-led-by-idiots dept.

The House and Senate, sniffing an issue sure to be a slam-dunk with voters, and happy for anything that diverts attention from the need to deal with terrorist threats or reign in the fraudulent excesses of corporate contributors, are falling all over themselves to denounce yesterday's federal appeals court ruling declaring the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional. I guess it's indicative of how far outside the mainstream my views actually are, but this just lowers my opinion of our elected leaders, something I never think is going to be possible, but somehow always turns out to be.

Posted by jbc at 04:16 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 26, 2002

Sartwell: 'No Child Left Behind' an Empty Promise

from the creeping-cynicism dept.

Not having read Crispin Sartwell before, I was pleasantly surprised by his refreshingly pissed-off rant in the L.A. Times op-ed section today. The piece offers a criticism of the vacuous banality of the handy catchphrase "No child left behind," uttered by every empty-headed politician from Elizabeth Dole to dubya to Al Gore. Good stuff (and, thanks to Sartwell's personal web site, linkable without having to suffer the tortures of the L.A. Times' Web-hostile required login).

Posted by jbc at 03:10 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 25, 2002

Reback on IBM's Patent Bullying

from the selling-off-the-future dept.

There's a nice article at Forbes.com by tech lawyer Gary Reback on the out-of-control behavior of the US Patent and Trademark Office in granting patents on anything and everything. It includes a cool story about how, while he was working at Sun, they were shaken down by the patent-infringement goons from IBM.

Posted by jbc at 06:56 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

TTT Trailer Available Online

from the 176-days-and-counting dept.

ymatt made fun of me for not being first with the news that you can now download the teaser trailer for The Two Towers online, so here you go. It's mostly the same footage that obsessed fanboys (*cough*) and fangirls saw already in the in-theater preview, though with additional explanatory voice-over from Cate Blanchett. So, where will you be on December 18? I know where I'll be.

Posted by jbc at 05:37 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Kournikova Gets Pissy with BBC Interviewer

from the see?-SPORTS-coverage dept.

Anna Kournikova continues to demonstrate that in the world of professional women's tennis, you get way more headlines with a cute nose, good skin, and nice measurements than you do with actual talent. In this case, by lashing out at a BBC interviewer after her first-round exit from Wimbledon, causing a media frenzy. This is the fourth first-round tournament loss in a row for the fetching Russian.

Posted by jbc at 05:31 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Woman Sues DJ for STD Prank Call

from the crossing-the-line dept.

A woman in Florida has filed suit against Bruce Da Moose, a disk jockey at a hip-hop/R&B station, for having a faux doctor call her up and tell her, live on the air, that she had been exposed to a sexually transmitted disease, in the process getting the woman to divulge details about her sex life.

Posted by jbc at 05:25 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 22, 2002

The Wine Brick

from the do-not,-under-any-circumstances... dept.

From a Nanog discussion, via Hiro, comes this story about the Wine Brick, something I'd never heard of before. During Prohibition, you apparently could buy a compressed block of grapes, ostensibly for making grape juice. It had instructions that began: To make a refreshing grape-juice drink, dissolve contents in large pitcher of water... But on the other side was a warning: Caution: Never mix contents in two gallons of warm water
to which you have added a pinch of yeast, and one pound of sugar.
If this mixture is left to stand in a cloth covered container
for two weeks, an ALCOHOLIC beverage will result, which is illegal.
I love this. As we grope our way toward an uncertain future, may we never lose sight of those things that make this nation truly great.

Posted by jbc at 12:19 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 21, 2002

70 year old woman steels sheep for sexual plesure

from the badly-spelled-user-submissions dept.

Yeah, I know. Not many lies.com updates lately. Sorry. Working on it. In the meantime, we've got another user submission. This one is fairly typical: bad spelling and doesn't make much sense at all. But it's something other than nothing, and the "1 Submissions" thing in the Slash admin bar kept staring at me and making me feel guilty. So follow the link, or scroll down, for the submission. Woo!


Posted by jbc at 06:28 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 18, 2002

Man Arrested for Licking Women's Feet

from the excuse-me-while-I...-mmm dept.

I think the title says as much about this as needs to be said.

Posted by jbc at 10:52 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

June 17, 2002

John Dean Fails To Out Deep Throat

from the I-didn't-believe-him-anyway dept.

John Dean, former Nixon lawyer turned felon turned informant, has now given us another reason to look down on him: Today's deadline for his widely pre-publicized identification of who Deep Throat really was has come and gone, and Dean still doesn't know. Supposedly, says Dean, Deep Throat is almost certainly one of the following five people: Pat Buchanan, Steve Bull, Raymond Price, Ron Ziegler, or Jerry Warren. Hey, great, whatever.

Posted by jbc at 11:17 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 16, 2002

Kuro5hin on the Judi Bari Verdict

from the so,-whose-bomb-WAS-it? dept.

Kuro5hin has a nice round-up of information about the recent $4.4 million jury award to Judi Bari (well, her estate) for being framed by the FBI in the wake of being blown up by a "homemade" bomb while en route to an Earth First! meeting. Too bad we can't fast-forward to 30 years from now, or so, when our descendants will finally get to see the FBI files showing who really planted that bomb.

Posted by jbc at 12:28 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Winona Pleads 'Not Guilty'

from the the-wheels-of-justice-grind-on dept.

So, Winona Ryder had her delayed-due-to-elbow-breakage hearing, and pled (pleaded? pleadified?) not guilty to shoplifting charges. Stay tuned for more.

Posted by jbc at 12:25 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Jury: 'God Told Me To' No Excuse for Starving Child

from the with-a-God-like-that,-who-needs-Satan? dept.

Coward writes "According to the boston.com website, jurors have convicted Jacques Robidoux of murder in the first degree in the death of his son. The method of the crime? Deliberately withholding solid food from his child on orders from God. Observant readers will notice that the evidence bringing the case to trial was received from another couple with a dead baby that received immunity for testimony (was one baby more valuable than the other?). For more information on the religious sect that Robidoux belongs to, check out this entry in the excellent (albeit slightly Christian biased) Apologetics Index."

Posted by jbc at 12:21 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 14, 2002

Mysterious Noises Emanate From Ocean

from the things-that-go-bloop-in-the-deep dept.

CNN has a story about a super-powerful undersea noise that has scientists baffled. It bears the hallmarks of a biological origin, but matches no known noise pattern, and is extremely loud. Giant squid, maybe, goes one of the guesses.

Posted by jbc at 10:58 AM | view/comment (3) | TrackBack (0)

Teacher Suspended for Humorous Math Test

from the those-who-can't-teach,-teach-math dept.

A Canadian math teacher apparently based a real test on the somewhat-funny "City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam," which features word problems describing gang members, crime, and prostitutes. The teacher has been stripped of her classroom duties and suspended without pay for three days. Canadians have no sense of humor.

Posted by jbc at 10:14 AM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

June 12, 2002

EW: The All-Digital Yoda

from the pint-sized-action-hero dept.

From the good people at Entertainment Weekly comes the behind-the-scenes story of the creation of Attack of the Clones' all-digital Yoda. The thing about this I find interesting is where the animators talk about how their first attempt, in which they went all-out for realism, was creepy-looking. Apparently they had to recreate the jerky movements and other limitations of the original Frank Oz puppet before audiences would accept the new Yoda as "real".

Posted by jbc at 03:24 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Ebay: Pay for Wife's Boob Job, Cop a Feel

from the what-a-country dept.

From Ebay, as archived at cruel.com: Feel Wife's Breasts If You Pay For Boob Job. Can't blame a guy for trying, I guess.

Posted by jbc at 02:51 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

June 09, 2002

Space Station Commander Invites Cindy Crawford to Visit

from the lonely-cosmonauts dept.

Valery Korzun, the newly arrived Russian commander of the International Space Station, told reporters yesterday that he has no problem with NSync's Lance Bass visiting the station, but if he had his druthers, he'd rather host Cindy Crawford (or "one of the supermodels," at least). Dream on, Valery.

Posted by jbc at 02:46 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 08, 2002

Ex-Convict Impersonates Special Forces Officer at Bridge Collapse Site

from the anything-for-attention dept.

Investigators have identified the man who showed up in fatigues and a green beret at the Tulsa bridge-collapse site hours after the disaster, claiming to be an Army Special Forces officer and seeking (with at least some success) to take over various aspects of the operation. He was Billy Clark, a 36-year-old ex-convict from Tallapoosa, Mo. Clark apparently commandeered a pickup from a car dealership in order to travel to the site, then arrived on the scene telling anyone who would listen that he was "in charge". He subsequently rented eight rooms in a nearby hotel (only one of which he used; the rest were for his "team", which never arrived), and ate lots of free food. Police have issued a warrant for his arrest.

Posted by jbc at 02:53 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Prosecution: Moussaoui Competent To Defend Himself

from the bring-on-the-circus dept.

The trial of Moroccan-born Frenchman Zacarias Moussaoui, the "20th hijacker" who was in jail on a visa violation on 9/11 and so far is the only person to have been charged in the attacks, is only going to get wackier, apparently. Yesterday prosecutors argued in favor of Moussaoui's request that he be allowed to fire his court-appointed lawyers and represent himself. Seems a psychiatric evaluation showed he was competent, and prosecutors prefer the idea of facing off against a rabid, anti-American zealot to arguing their case against actual lawyers, who presumably would have a good chance of preventing Moussaoui's execution, seeing as no one has ever been executed in this country merely for planning to participate in a heinous crime, as opposed to actually doing so. Judge Leonie Brinkema is scheduled to rule on Thursday, but experts are saying she will have few options other than to grant Moussaoui's request. Fasten your seatbelts, America.

Posted by jbc at 02:39 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 07, 2002

Chinese Newspaper Fooled by Onion Article

from the too-rich dept.

I love this one. The Beijing Evening News, one of the largest-circulation dailies in China, earlier this week ran a story about how the U.S. Congress was threatening to move out of the Capitol building unless it was renovated. The only problem was, the article was a complete fabrication, copied more or less verbatim from a story that ran recently in The Onion. Even better, when contacted by phone for comment, the Chinese paper's international editor got pissy, demanding, "How do you know whether or not we checked the source before we published the story?"

Posted by jbc at 12:36 PM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Fired Coach Really Did Have Two Degrees

from the who-you-gonna-believe? dept.

Whoa. Tom Collen, you'll remember, is that coach who was recently forced to resign a day after he was named as Vanderbilt's new women's basketball coach. Reporters had discovered that the resume from his previous job listed him as having two degrees, while the resume he submitted to Vanderbilt, and the transcript from his alma mater, Miami of Ohio, only listed one degree. The folks at Vanderbilt assumed this was evidence that Collen had lied in order to get his previous job, and ousted him on the basis of the supposed dishonesty. But it turns out now that he really did have two degrees all along; Miami of Ohio made a mistake on his transcript. Meanwhile, the people at Vanderbilt have hired a new head coach, and stand by their decision to replace Collen. "We're going to be moving forward," said Mike Schoenfeld, Vanderbilt's vice chancellor for public relations. "We're going to look like idiots either way, so we'd just as soon brazen it out and pretend we didn't do anything wrong, rather than trying to correct our mistake."

Posted by jbc at 11:39 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

White House: Brazilian President's Story of Dubya Gaffe 'Total Crap'

from the can-they-say-that? dept.

So, did the White House actually say that Brazilian President Cardoso's account of a really clueless dubya comment (betraying ignorance of the fact that yes, Brazil has a large black population) was "total crap"? So says the Washington Post, quotation marks and everything. Which means, what, it was an Ari Fleischer statement? Anyone have anything more on the story?

Posted by jbc at 04:23 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Falwell Denounces ABC's Bleeping of 'Jesus'

from the Jesus,-what-next? dept.

On a recent episode of ABC's "The View" (a daytime chat show), one of the on-air personalities, Joy Behar, said of her having ended televised weigh-ins as part of an ongoing diet feature, "Yes, and thank you, thank you, Jesus, is all I have to say." ABC ran the statement uncut in the show's live broadcast, but when us poor relations on the West Coast saw the tape-delayed version, the word "Jesus" had been bleeped out. Which would be a perfectly good lies.com story in and of itself, but then it gets an extra layer: televangelist Jeffy Falwell has apparently objected to the bleeping, though I'm not sure why. According to the AP story on the incident, "Falwell, in a newspaper column, said he believed ABC's action was wrong. What makes it worse, he said, is that many cable television networks are habitually blasphemous." Huh? But see, they bleeped the word precisely because they were worried that its use as a casual exclamation would offend peckerheads like him. I tried to track down the column in which he made the statement, but after several minutes of plowing through his words of wisdom at www.falwell.com (plus an entertaining detour through www.jerryfalwell.com) I gave up. If any of you happen to come across it, would you let me know? Thanks. Update: Lucy tracked it down for me. Here's Falwell's column, where he (of course) intentionally misconstrues ABC's action as being part of a blanket erasing of the word "Jesus" from all broadcasts, ignoring that the network uses it all the time to actually refer to Jesus, and only has a policy of bleeping its use as an irreligious exclamation. That guy is such a pud whack.

Posted by jbc at 01:56 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Winona Back in Court

from the when-celebrities-go-bad,-part-II dept.

Winona Ryder's preliminary hearing resumed yesterday, with five witnesses testifying as to her behavior during her alleged shoplifting spree. The defense was pretty low-key, limiting itself to some sarcastic questions of store security guards ("And do you get a lot of homeless people wearing three-quarter-length cashmere coats?"), and then alleging almost (but not quite?) perjury in comments to reporters on the courthouse steps. Anyway, the judge ruled there was sufficient evidence for a trial, so the fun will continue.

Posted by jbc at 01:49 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Woody Harrelson Arrested After London Taxi Chase

from the when-celebrities-go-bad,-part-I dept.

Yay! Another celebrity has had a run-in with the law under weird circumstances. Specifically, actor Woody Harrelson (Cheers, Natural Born Killers, White Men Can't Jump) apparently got into a disagreement with a London cabbie involving a broken ashtray and a damaged door, then jumped out of the cab and into another, leading to a high-speed chase and his eventual apprehension by police. He's now out on bail, with a hearing scheduled for July 1.

Posted by jbc at 01:39 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Dubya Grabs Headlines with Proposal for Homeland Security Department

from the getting-in-front-of-the-parade dept.

Along with all the coverage of dubya's proposal for a Cabinet-level department to handle the domestic side of the War on Terra, there are some interesting articles that discuss his real motivation in reversing his earlier stand against such a department. From the Chicago Tribune, Proposal diverts attention from intelligence failing, and from The Globe and Mail, Bush plan an effort to silence chorus of what-ifs. Dubya continues to insist (most recently, in his speech last night) that no one could have prevented the events of 9/11. Proposing a new cabinet-level department is one way to drive those arguing the opposite off the front page. But what does he do for an encore? Invade Iraq?

Posted by jbc at 01:16 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 06, 2002

Britney Will Call Your Cellphone for $19.99

from the a-day-without-Britney-is-a-day-without...-Britney dept.

I really don't know why Britney Spears has seeped so far into the lies.com consciousness, but there it is: I can't help posting anything I see about Britney. Like this: an obsessed-fan package from your wireless provider that costs $19.99 and comes with a membership card, a decal, and three months' worth of personal cellphone messages from the Goddess Herself describing everything she's up to. I so want this, though I'm pretty sure I'd find it really, really stupid after the first couple of minutes. So I'll just go on wanting it, which sounds way better to me, all things considered.

Posted by jbc at 04:36 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Beware the Candiru Menace

from the very-scary-fish dept.

Not exactly news, maybe, but news to me. I was reading a cool book about the schizophrenic doctor who helped create the Oxford English Dictionary (The Professor and the Madman, by Simon Winchester), and there's this wacky digression about the candiru, a South American fish that allegedly will follow a stream of urine through the waters of the Amazon to embed itself, via backward-pointing spines, in your urethra (ouch!). So I'm describing this to my wife, and she starts making fun of me for being such a sap as to believe such an obviously mythical story. So I turn to Google, and low and behold, the story is true. Or at least, true enough to take in the editors of the Encyclopedia Britannica and the normally quite skeptical folks at alt.folklore.urban. The candiru has inspired any number of web sites, including some with detailed descriptions and actual photos of the little monster. And the deeper I dug into the Google links, the wackier it got: there's candiru poetry, more candiru poetry, and a metal band named after the fish. So what was it, exactly, that we used to do for fun before we had the Web?

Posted by jbc at 04:02 AM | view/comment (4) | TrackBack (0)

Conservative Republicans Take the Point on FBI/CIA Criticism

from the wacky-world-of-politics dept.

Ronald Brownstein at the L.A. Times (login required; cypherpunk/cypherpunk) has an interesting story about how the political assault on the FBI and CIA over missteps leading up to 9/11 is being led by an unlikely trio of senators, all of them conservative Republicans: Richard C. Shelby of Alabama, Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, and Charles E. Grassley of Iowa. The three have a history of annoyance with federal law enforcement that dates to the Clinton/Janet Reno era. Also, I have to wonder if they're going after FBI Director Robert S. Mueller in order to keep the blame from working its way up to Mueller's boss, Attorney General John Ashcroft, who is both a darling of the right and a former senator himself. My favorite quote from the article is the one where an unidentified "senior Senate Democratic strategist" says "I am more than comfortable letting the Republicans stake out this turf... It is just much, much safer." Safer. Right. Don't run any political risks to protect your constituents from terrorism; it's much more important to ensure your own re-election. I know that makes me feel safer.

Posted by jbc at 02:14 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Woman in Nigeria Faces Stoning for Having a Child

from the penpals-from-aroooound-the-world dept.

Coward writes "According to CNN, a woman in Nigeria is facing death by stoning for having a child more than 9 months after her divorce. Fortunately she has 2 years for appeals, as the court has allowed her time to wean her child.
For more information on Nigeria and its interpretation of Sharia, please take a look at Africa Action's page. A good (non-partisan) definition of Sharia can be found here."
This is so cool. Not that the woman is facing stoning under an oppressive misogynist tradition (that sucks), but that I heard someone mention this story yesterday, and didn't have time to post it, and I wake up this morning and bam, a helpful reader has submitted it, complete with supporting links. That rules.

Posted by jbc at 01:55 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

Scheer on Racial Profiling

from the evaporating-freedoms dept.

Robert Scheer had a nice piece yesterday, which, since I held off on linking to it until now, I can point to on his own site, rather than on the (grumble) registration-required L.A. Times site. Titled We've Had Enough Witch Hunts, it questions the wisdom of letting freedom-hating folks like John Ashcroft and Dianne Feinstein push through racial profiling as a response to the 9/11 terror attacks.

Posted by jbc at 12:00 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 05, 2002

Deep-Fried Twinkies

from the gourmets-take-note dept.

Christopher Sell, an expat Brit who runs a Brooklyn restaurant called ChipShop, is making headlines with a dessert item that apparently has diners coming back in droves: deep-fried twinkies. Yum. As a bonus, if eating the sugar-cum-cholesterol explosion drives you to assassinate one or more politicians, you have a guaranteed defense, a la Dan White. Cool.

Posted by jbc at 02:24 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

Air Force Colonel Suspended for Ridiculing Dubya

from the but-what-if-the-president-really-IS-a-joke? dept.

Lt. Colonel Steve Butler was planning to retire from the Air Force in a few weeks. In a case of really bad timing, though, he didn't wait until then to send a letter to the editor of the local newspaper ripping dubya for being an ineffectual wuss: "He did nothing to warn the American people because he needed this war on terrorism... This guy is a joke." Oops. Turns out that one of those things you sign away when you join the military is the right to criticize the commander-in-chief. Butler has now been suspended pending investigation into his violation of Article 88 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, which prohibits commissioned officers from using "contemptuous words" against the president and other political leaders. Maximum penalty: dismissal, forfeiture of all pay, and confinement for a year.

Posted by jbc at 02:02 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Dubya: 9/11 Could Not Have Been Prevented

from the doth-protest-too-much? dept.

In a speech delivered at the National Security Administration's headquarters yesterday, President Bush acknowledged that the CIA and FBI had failed to share important intelligence about terrorist activities prior to 9/11. He continued, though, "I've seen no evidence today that said this country could have prevented the attack." Guess he wants to leave himself some wiggle room, in case more evidence surfaces tomorrow. In the meantime, it sure seems like he's handing his political opponents a big stick. "The President says global warming will cause great hardship, but gosh, there's just nothing that can be done to stop it. He says terrorist attacks will cost thousands of innocent Americans their lives, but gee, there's nothing we can do to prevent it. To that I can only say, perhaps it's time we put another team on the field, one that is willing to fight on behalf of the American people, rather than conceding defeat before the contest has even been decided."

Posted by jbc at 01:34 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 04, 2002

Winona Injures Arm. Or Maybe Not.

from the same-story,-different-celebrity dept.

Actress Winona Ryder, who appeared at a preliminary hearing yesterday in connection with charges she had shoplifted and possessed painkillers without a prescription, requested, and was granted, a delay after she said that her arm had been injured while she was pushing her way through the throng of reporters surrounding the courtroom. Interestingly, her lawyer said her right elbow had been broken, but it was actually the left arm that she appeared to be cradling when she entered the courtroom. Oops. Anyway, the hearing is scheduled to resume Thursday. (Disclosure: I think Winona Ryder is way cool, even if - no, especially if - the charges against her are true. So shoot me.)

Posted by jbc at 02:06 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Mubarak: Egypt Warned U.S. About 9/11

from the retroactive-foreknowledge dept.

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, speaking to a reporter for the New York Times, has said that Egypt delivered a warning to U.S. officials that a major al Queda terrorist operation was in the works in the week before the 9/11 attacks. Not so, says an unidentified "senior U.S. intelligence official," also quoted in the article. "The Egyptians gave us some threat information, earlier in 2001, of possible attacks against U.S. or Egyptian interests... There was nothing about hijackings, nothing about an attack inside the U.S. It did not come in the days before 9/11." Mubarak acknowledges that the warning was non-specific, and that it didn't mention hijackings or attacks inside the U.S., but insists it was given just a few days before the attacks. So, one of these sources (at least) is lying. Cool.

Posted by jbc at 01:48 AM | view/comment (1) | TrackBack (0)

Dubya: Global Warming Caused By Humans

from the but-we-still-should-keep-burning-fossil-fuels dept.

Acknowledging what it had hitherto denied (or at least swept under the needs-more-study rug), the Bush administration has issued a report that admits that global warming is real, and is the result of human activities. The report goes on, however, to say that continued global warming as a result of those activities is inevitable, so we (meaning the citizens of the world) will just have to learn to live with it, while we (meaning the citizens of the U.S.) continue to burn fossil fuel like there's no tomorrow.

Posted by jbc at 01:42 AM | view/comment (11) | TrackBack (0)

Madonna Pregnant. Or Maybe Not.

from the immaculate-conception dept.

Is Madonna pregnant with her third child? Rumors started flying when she was seen having her 17-month-old son Rocco pat her tummy during a shopping excursion. Then her dad, Tony Ciccone, told a reporter that she was expecting. "We were delighted when we heard but I can't speak about it." Oh, hey, nice compliance on that request, dad. Anyway, now Madonna's publicist has issued a blanket denial: "It's completely untrue." Sure it is.

Posted by jbc at 01:27 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Horny Dolphin Scares Swimmers

from the intra-species-love dept.

So, what are we going to do about Georges, the overly amorous bottlenose dolphin who has been trying to mate with swimmers at the British resort of Weymouth? Ric O'Barry, a dolphin expert whose credentials include a stint as trainer on the Flipper T.V. show, has been brought in to lend his expertise, but to no avail. Personally, I think they need to fly in that guy who runs the dolphinsex.org web site. Let him and Georges go at it for a while, and I'll bet the dolphin will swear off humans for life.

Posted by jbc at 01:09 AM | view/comment (2) | TrackBack (0)

June 03, 2002

The Return of the Not My Desk Theme Week

from the oh,-frabjous-day dept.

If you haven't yet been saturated by the wonderful goodness that is Not My Desk, this would be a good time to start. Mr. Livingston has given us a nifty theme week, in which he comments on old Not My Desk material. It's sort of like lies.com, in the sense of being a wacky web site where you're exposed to an alternate viewpoint, except in his case it's actually funny. Yay!

Posted by jbc at 04:59 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Al Queda Threatens New, Improved Terror

from the where-we-least-expect-it dept.

According to an al Queda representative, the organization is planning new terror attacks against the United States. Said spokesman Abu Ghaith, "Let America be prepared to fasten its seat belt because, thanks to God, we are going to surprise it in a place where it is not expecting." Hm. I'm not expecting a global outbreak of peace, love, and understanding; do you guys think you could manage something in that area? No, I guess not.

Posted by jbc at 02:26 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Researchers Say Kids Need More Freedom To Explore Their Sexuality

from the cultural-revolution dept.

Again from the L.A. Times (cypherpunk/cypherpunk login works) comes a story that ties in recent headlines about child molestation (priests molesting young parishioners, teachers running off with students) with recent pronouncements from experts who argue that children are inherently sexual beings, and that society needs to back off from the blanket judgements that criminalize all sexual interactions between the nominally adult and the nominally otherwise. Interesting stuff.

Posted by jbc at 02:11 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

Splitting With Dubya Over Conservation

from the conservationist-conservatives dept.

There's a nice article in the (registration required, cypherpunk/cypherpunk works) L.A. Times on how a number of senior career officials in the various environmental agencies are quitting, rather than comply with dubya's pro-development philosophy.

Posted by jbc at 02:05 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 02, 2002

Monkey Spanking and a Shark Attack

from the abuse-of-and-by-animals dept.

a_stupid_box writes "Irony of ironies. After the little piece about PETA, I start to find all this animal news. First off is the story about a French rapper fined for spanking his monkey which is a rather short but nontheless funny article. Secondly I find that another fellow Gen-X'er is going to be laid up for a while due to a little disagreement he had with a shark. Important lesson to be learned here, folks, but I'm sure that if you're on this site you can figure it out on your own." Hmm. I've got no idea what lesson he's referring to. Don't spank your monkey, or someone on the other side of the world will be bitten by a great white?

Posted by jbc at 09:15 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

India to Pakistan: We'll Nuke If You Do

from the boys-and-their-guns dept.

From the Hindustan Times comes news of the Indian Defense Secretary's Strangelove-ian assurance that everything is in place such that if Pakistan uses its nuclear weapons on India, India will use its own nuclear weapons in response. So, I wonder just how many more fingers we can get on the trigger in our global game of all-chambers-loaded Russian roulette before someone has a little "accident."

Posted by jbc at 09:05 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 01, 2002

My X-Lovers Wife is Lying on Me

from the what's-love-got-to-do-with-it? dept.

Another weird user submission just arrived over the lies.com transom. I've read this one through twice now, and still can't quite figure out who's lying to whom. But it's interesting, in a depressing kind of way, and features fairly good spelling, considering. And it's a lies.com original; the kind of stuff you can't find anywhere else. Except, um, talk radio, Usenet, Jerry Springer, and several thousand other journals of record of the dark side of life in these United States. But anyway. Follow the link, or scroll down, for the story.


Posted by jbc at 05:21 AM | view/comment (0) | TrackBack (0)

PETA Nonprofit Status Jeopardized By Payments To 'Terrorist' Organization

from the one-smear-fits-all dept.

a_stupid_box writes "I came across this story saying how PETA (yes, THAT PETA) is in danger of losing their nonprofit status. Why? Oh, they were just supporting eco-terrorism. PETA donations may no longer be tax-deductible pending a federal investigation. I'm all for treating animals humanely, but if hooking a monkey's brain up to a car battery is going to let me live 50 years longer, I've got two things to say; red is positive, black is negative. PETA seems to value human rights less than animal rights in my honest opinion, so they're getting no sympathy from me." It's actually a pretty interesting article, if slanted fairly heavily in the anti-PETA direction. Worth a read.

Posted by jbc at 05:07 AM | view/comment (4) | TrackBack (0)